My wife and I travel together 99% of the time but I do all the booking. However, everytime I book through UA by signing in into my account, the reservation ends up booked in my wife's name .
Secondly, my wife missed PE by a hair this year and dropped to Premier. Twice recently, while trying to upgrade for the 2 of us (through my account) and being waitlisted for seat upgrade release at the airport, the GA apparently looked at her status first, saw she was Premier, knocked her down the list (while telling me as PE that I got the upgrade, which I declined), and put another standby passenger in F. So it seems that the minor problem of her being first on the PNR now becomes a problem with regards to using our e-upgrades. Can anyone explain this and help in solving this issue? Thanks a lot.

On this first issue, I don't understand. What do you mean "booked in my wife's name"

On the second, if upgrades have not cleared by roughly 4 hours prior to scheduled flight time, the waitlist is re-ordered by the individual passenger's status. So you status will no longer help your wife in that circumstance (upgrading close to flight time).

Thanks for the upgrade answer.

As for the first issue: My wife's name appears first on the reservation and for some reservations I cannot pull the reservation up when I log in; it doesn't show, I need to log in in her name to find it.

When you list the passengers (#1, #2) in the reservation process is your name first? (I think this is automatic on united.com)

And just as a double check is your MP number showing during the reservation process (before completing it)?

It sounds like you are not properly logged into united.com

log in in my name, MP# showing, my name as passenger 1 etc., all correct, hence I don't get it.

neither do I, maybe others can help....

As a workaround, you could make the reservation without logging in, setting up names and so forth just as you want them. After making it, then log in as yourself and adjust seating, upgrades, etc. I had to do this a couple of times during a week or so earlier this year when .bomb unilaterally decided that my first name had changed.

will try that

As long as you make sure to enter both passengers' MP numbers into the reservation, it should appear in both of your online itineraries.