PanHam

NOTE: This is a piece not about specific compensation, but just a long winded, bloviating question about new logic of UA Customer Service and compensation.

Like any good UA FTer, I called the ICC today, with some minuscule complaint over a minor delay, on an SFO-SAN flight that almost resulted in an SAN - IAD misconnect, but really caused me no major hassle. In my best haughty and entitled tone, I spun a tale of great woe, agony, and expended effort, including histrionic moments of dodging frenzied courtesy carts, leaping over ticket counters with the gusto of an Olympic hurdler, and almost breaking a femur after slipping in a puddle of melted TCBY, enhanced with the usual pap about how much business I give United, the value of my time, and how the delay was UA's fault.

I was offered 50 bucks, or 2000 miles.

Only provoked, like any good FTer, I continued my overly dramatic tale, ranting about how important I am as a 1P (), and how I almost missed some business meeting (on an MR. Yeah, right!) The representative told me to be happy with 50 dollars in e-certs, because a general member or 2P would've received only 25 dollars.

Intrigued, I continued, asking him what the logic was behind the fact that someone who could only fly once a year earns 25 dollars in compensation for enduring the same 45 minute delay and near misconnect , and a 1P, who flies at least 50,000 miles per year, receives just 25 dollars more than a GM or a 2P. Dolefully, he even conceded he did not understand the logic. I hope no one heard this subversive answer, because it might have earned him 50 lashings with a BOB snackbox from Barbara Higgins. I asked him what a 1K would've received, and he said 50 dollars, as well. Yeah, right!

I decided to continue pushing for more compensation, knowing a mix of badgering, cajoling, and obnoxiously restating how important I am usually causes the ICC guys to budge, eventually, when even they get too annoyed to talk to me. He never did budge. He did let me know, however, that he was unable to increase compensation because United customer service now uses a new computer program, since August apparently, that sets the appropriate compensation for a given situation, and will not relent. The agent informed me that in the past, they, personally, were able to adjust the compensation based on the gravity of the situation, which explained how my pestering used to work, at times, to greedily obtain more compensation. I thought the guy had been feeding me some nonsense, but, he adamantly defended there was absolutely nothing he could do. Frankly, I believed him.

My question, therefore, how many people have noticed this new compensation system? Has anyone experienced something similar? This seems to be another example of UA's increased cheapness for compensation. . . first Skykits, and now the Boys in Bangalore. Well done, Barbara Higgins.

On the bright side, I received the e-cert within an hour of hanging up. I'll use it tonight to take a Thanksgiving weekend fare from "disgustingly high" to only "extremely high."

ua_to_ord

Is it UA that's cheap?

(Sorry, someone had to say it! )

PanHam

Hahahaha, I hoped the piece was self effacing enough

I also hope we'll all see a little bit of the UA FTer in it . . . . . (maybe not the honorable ones, though)

WineCountryUA

And one wonders why UAL has become rigid and perhaps skeptical of travellers when they overstate their case

PanHam

Remember, the thread is about the new compensation system - not about the compensation itself. I don't really care about that - that part was supposed to be mostly for entertainment and satire.

UNITED863

My sympathies to the agent who got this call.

mahasamatman

UA's compensation seems to have gone way down recently - and is still about 5x more than it should be.

PanHam

Is the irony lost on you?

lucky9876coins

Yeah, good point. They're offering 5,000 miles right now for a broken first class suite internationally, that's way too high. 1,000 seems more in line....

WineCountryUA

I think my comment addressed what may have driven the need for a rigid (impersonal) system

kb1992

According to UA, $30 gets you additional 1,000 miles.

So a broken F suite on international flight is only worth 1,000 miles = $30 if mahasamatman's argument holds.

midnight sun

If they can nickel and dime us, then should we not be able to nickel and dime them?

Nuts not warm = $10
Seat with duct tape = $20
Improper boarding sequence = $18.50
No cherry for ice cream in 1st =$ .35
No Welcome aboard = $5

Lets get the list going and we can all save time on our calls to Customer Service.

Astriker

I misconnected cause of crew and had to fly through ORD versus non stop SFO-ATL, delay was crew arrived in late night before. Offered $50 for misconnecting and 5 hours travel time added, and hours in the RCC.

It has gone down hill, I rarely complain, above was offered when I called to see if I had any other flight options.

blueman2

Hmmm. I can beat that. International First Class, and UA decided to jump the gun on a potential strike in FRA: limited to only 2 cans of diet coke the whole flight 12 hour flight. 1/2 meal portions, no linen service, no desert, and no mid-flight snack. No glasses, only plastic cups the entire flight. Plastic silverware as well. Compensation offered? 7000 miles!

Yes, they are WAY to generous.

Pegasus23

The new logic of UA Customer Service and compensation, referred here as: "New System" has recorded your comments with responses. The next time you call you will be asked for a cc number and for each minute you talk, your card will be charged $.25. minus free time...1p's get 3 free minutes; 2p two free minutes; 3p one free minute. 1K's are charged nothing if they have 10 booked trips in My Itineraries on a 3 month sliding average with no segments under 700miles. Global Services only need spend $9000/ mo. If spending drops, GS are warned, and shown a motivational video to help them maintain our minimum level of commitment....

PanHam, the "New System" has categories for specific themes of discussion. You have placed yourself in the category of "Fried Baloney". This term is used by "New System" when said caller turns up the heat on kind listening UA employee to magnify said fictitious flying experience to enhance compensation. It is suggested you apologize to UA employee, or "New System" will escalate your flight label reference from "Fried Baloney" to "manipulating liar". "New System" has found shame to be a useful tool for exposing manipulative flyer's..... Soon to be rolled out.....Large display signs above the boarding door of your next flight will display your current flight label as the CS agent scans your BP. Passengers with lower status waiting to board are encouraged to jeer or boo as cued by this display. FA's enjoying their new found power, shun your entrance to the plane & whisper to each other, ignoring passengers with negative flight labels. This is corrective action, encouraging our passengers to shape up!

PanHam, we do appreciate your humor...

Thank you for allowing us to use your splendid example to highlight "New System". You will receive as compensation one extra free minute on your next call. "New System" Out!