Speculation Thread: The "Kirby Kutbacks"
 

So with Delta now threatening significant cost cutting measures, and we all know how warm and fuzzy Kirby feels about customers, service and products (not!) I thought we can kick off a speculation thread to figure out what gets slashed the longer the virus sticks around.

So my best guesses are:

1. Domestic
A) Y snack and beverage service are terminated - basically no service at all during the flight and spun as a "health and safety precaution"
B) all fees are increased across the board
C) F inflight meals are reset as pre-packaged boxes on all routes except true transcons

2. International
A) Y snack and beverage service goes BOB, PY food is downgraded
B) Y/PY IFE goes to fee-based
C) Polaris meal service cutbacks:
i) reduction in soft and alcoholic beverage options
ii) loss of one entree choice
iii) food quality and quantity reduced
iv) pre-arrival meal is a snack box
v) sundae cart and dessert options gone - changed to a prepacked ice cream cup OR a slice of cake (the domestic cake portions)
vi) light bites are gone, pajamas gone

3. Lounges
A) UA Club food reductions to packaged cheese and crackers and a reduction in alcoholic beverages
B) Polaris Lounge buffet and restaurant cutbacks, or "for health and safety reasons" the Polaris buffet is replaced with a pre-packaged selection of wrapped snacks

So....let the speculation begin....

Why make it easy for the man by giving him all the ideas?

Also, why borrow trouble? Are there not enough things to get upset about right now without needing more? :)

Maybe Kirby foresaw this - he already has a head start on Delta :)

He’s been cutting back almost from day 1 of Polaris.

I am still only booking UA, but they start making all these cuts, no need to fly just 1 airline. There wont be any lines at airports, planes wont be filled, so what do you really get that you need? Not flying intl so I can suck up a transcon in regular E.

They start making cuts to service, see ya!

The vast majority of these, like not serving water in Y, are wild exaggerations. If they cut, it will be in incremental ways that are not easy to quantify, like cheaper food in F or fewer soda options in Y.

Whatever the cutbacks may be, as a pilot with the airline, I can assure you, we won't be cutting back on safety. We will still get you home safe, albeit, perhaps a bit hungry or thirsty. :)

I just don't see this virus hype as the cataclysmic end-to-life-as-we-know-it that some would have you believe. Things will be back to normal by summer.

Whatever cuts happen, coronavirus and reduced demand will be used as excuses. And cuts likely remain even when things improve.

Hands off the Illy and especially stroopwaffel !!

Oh, I am sure he has all of these ideas and more planned, all ready to be spun as product and service improvements that we all asked for, in the legendary marketing style of Vicki Escarra.

It's what Baldanza and Parker taught Kirby from USAir post-911, so I just want to be realistic about what's coming.

I did forget to include one that he might resurrect from that era:

Only fares booked in F,J,C,P,O,A,R,Y,B,M will earn any form of Elite qualification credit. Everything else earns a (reduced) amount of RDM. In Baldanza-speak that means "pay up or get lost".

You forgot to mention that Kirby will lobby the Congress for taxpayer's money to bail out his airline.

This is a given. Actually he already started when airline CEOs met President Trump few days ago.

I'm going to add my voice to those who are concerned about this thread just giving giving Kirby more (bad) ideas.

However, I also want to state that I love the term 'Kirby Kutbacks'. bocastephen, I suggest that you trademark it! :D

Love it. #KirbyKutbacks should be trending soon.
Frankly this is probably good cover for him to do things that would be difficult for him to do in normal times.
Once kut they might not ever kumback.

It goes well with elites getting Kicked to the Kirb. #kickedtothekirb