My trip begins on Thursday with a long flight (25 minutes) to Tel Aviv. I have a 55 hour layover there and decided not to spend the whole time in the airport. This was influenced, in part, by the fact that I will be flying into one airport and flying out of another.

I could have driven to TLV but decided against it as this gives me 1 point in Arkia's frequent flyer program and that leaves me only 92 shy of earning a free trip.

I tried to get upgraded on my Arkia flight but was rejected with the lame excuse that they only have one class.

I will spend Thursday and Friday nights in the luxurious three-star Aviv Hotel in Tel Aviv. I prefer the Aviv because its pool and fitness rooms don't exist. Thus I feel less guilt about not doing anything to keep in shape.

Hoping to have some female companionship during these two days, I sent out some e-mails. As of now, 8 women replied -- all refusing. This is particularly embarrassing as I only asked 3.

On Saturday morning I fly TLV-EWR-FLL on Continental. I will be sitting in Business First because when it comes to my comfort, expense is no object -- especially as it is an award ticket.

While I am in EWR Mary2E has promised to come there to give me a New York City kosher salami sandwich on rye. It is remarkable how much more willing women are to meet me when they know I have a short connection between flights.

When I get to FLL I will be picking up my car from Hertz, which is much nicer than picking up a hearse from the Carr Funeral Home. In view of my #1 Gold Status, Hertz has agreed not only to put me in the driver's seat but also to allow my suitcase in the trunk.

True luxury then begins! I have made a reservation at a Ramada Inn with its very own on-site Denny's! I had stayed there in May and the hotel manager told me how surprised she was that I had made another reservation. Apparently no other guest has ever returned.

I feel that this will be a particularly exciting time to visit Florida as the election will have ended only 4 days earlier and they will be having the traditional Recounting The Votes Festival.

After five days there looking for punched-out and pregnant chads, and watching people in their 90's zip along the highway at 15 mph, I start my very long trip back.

I will be flying on AF from MIA to CDG and on AZ to MXP. This was a special arrangement by SkyTeam to avoid having any one airline stuck with me for the entire trip.

Most of my time in Milan will not be spent in Milan. My UIG (Used Italian Girlfriend) and I plan to go directly to her vacation house in Lugano. This will afford us the time to spend some romantic evenings together while hiding me away from her Italian friends who keep telling her that not only is she too good for me but that any woman would be too good.

I will, indeed, spend a few days with her in Milan after that, but she has made me promise to hide my identity. She is also relieved by the fact that I will be heading to Venice for our big Meet for four days.

Then, after returning to Milan for a few more days, I will get on an AZ flight back to TLV. This is the result of high-level diplomacy between Israel and Italy as the latter insisted on an official guarantee that I will leave.

All in all, this seems like a wonderful trip-to-be and if any of you are in TLV, FLL, MXP or Lugano during my visits I would enjoy getting together with you.

You, most likely, will not enjoy getting together with me.

^

That would be great. Don't call me, I'll call you.

Dovster dear, please don't pick up a Hertz car in EWR. It is too long a drive to FL. I suggest you follow your original plan, and fly to FL. Otherwise, you might not make it to VCE in time.

But...but...EWR is right near I-95 and so is my hotel in Deerfield Beach. I thought I could drive over in a few minutes.

Never-the-less, I will take your advice and fly down. After all, it will probably save me a few bucks on tolls and gasoline.

Hilarious! I love your sense of humour Dov.
Bon voyage and have fun. I will ironically be in Israel
when you come here. L'hitraot.

-Is the Aviv the hotel near Ben Gurion?
Speaking of which, what do you think of the new airport?
I am excited to the see the new terminal. Oy...

Priceline has esconced MrsO and I in the beyotifull Holiday Inn on A1A the nights of November 7 & 8. Are you planning a mini-FLL-do during your stay? Do Israelis eat shellfish if they are kosher or Florida-raised, if so, there is a great crab shack off I-95 near the Sheraton airport.

Opushhomes, there is no mini-FLL-do that I know of, but I would be happy to get together with you and your wife.

Nobody, Israeli or not eats shellfish if they are kosher. (And I was not raised in Florida but rather the classy area known as "Brooklyn".)

I am not kosher but religiously or even non-religiously avoid shellfish. This is the subject of great debate on the Venice Meet thread -- as the strange people there want to have the big dinner in a place that serves creepy crawly things from the sea.

I can always be talked into some good pork ribs (please do NOT inform the Israeli Chief rabbis) or we can just get together for some drinks.

Interflug, the Adiv is about a 5 minute walk from the Sheraton you were staying at during your last visit. I haven't seen the new terminal yet but am thinking of visiting it this afternoon or tomorrow morning.

I was hoping that the terminal would visit me and save me the trip, but as of now it has made no such offer.

Shalom. Man you keep me laughing! Please let us know what you think of the new airport. Someone said on another website that the new terminal is quite big and spacious. Have a great trip!!

-Oh and I am back to the beloved Sheraton...

Dovster, you have private mail with my cell phone number.

Thanks for the laughs, Dovster!!! ^ ^

At this very moment, I am writing to on a computer in the Broward County Public Library. This despite the fact that I had lugged my laptop from my home to TLV and then on to EWR and FLL.

My classy Ramada Inn (it has got to be classy because it has an on-site Denny's) has phone lines which are too weak to support dial up network -- even when I set the modem to 300 bpms.

Two nights ago I had the pleasure of meeting Mr and Mrs Opushomes and MileCrazy and his lovely girlfriend.

We had dinner together and it while it was very nice, it would have been better if we had actually spoken to each other -- but fate determined that would be impossible.

Opushomes had suggested that we meet at Anthony's Runway, a somewhat high-level Italian restaurant on Rt. 84.

(Every time I fly to Florida I continue on to Milan where I spend a few weeks. Every time I fly to Florida somebody insists on my going to an Italian restaurant. I think they suspect that there are no Italian places in Milan.)

The rest of what happened still confuses me. I got to Anthony's Runway. Opushomes and MileCrazy did not. They wound up at Anthony's Pizza about a half mile away. After waiting for about 30 minutes, listening to canned Sinatra and Martin music, I called them and they told me I was in the wrong place. They then drove over to show me where the right place was.

When they arrived, they realized that I was in the right place (they had made reservations there) and they had wound up in the wrong one -- apparently each separately making the same mistake.

As the ladies were still in the pizza place we went back there to eat. Good pizza but the noise level was slightly more than that caused by a 747 taking off. We couldn't hear each other, which was probably just as well as it turned out that three of us were Democrats and two of us were Republicans.

Wednesday night I am planning on meeting Monitor and Frannie. They are old friends (dating back to that classic month of May 2004). They are the kind of people who actually like creepy crawly things from the sea.

Monitor, Frannie, I will be very happy to have dinner with you but may I suggest that we not go to an Italian restaurant that specializes in seafood?

Please make note that WE did not leave you stranded in EWR .

Keep the report coming... I can't wait until you get to the Milan/Venice part ^

Mary and her husband did not leave me stranded in EWR.

I have just noted that.

Not only did they leave me unstranded, but they also left me with kosher salami on rye sandwiches and potato knishes, both of which were delicious.

On the other hand, they attempted to poison me at the suggestion of O2K, Underpressure, Cholula and other nefarious souls who inhabit this site.

Much to the great dismay of many thousands of F/Ters, they failed.

Dov knows that I would never expose him to any kind of food that might be classified as "gourmet" or that was in any way different from what was served to him while he was growing up in the exotic borough of Brooklyn (I will conceal from him the fact that I too lived there most of my first 10 years).

Therefore, to suit his taste, we are proposing to meet him at Lindburger's, an emporium that IMO serves the best hamburgers in So Fla and where I'm sure that we can get a table near the door so that he can pop outside from time to time to indulge his need for tobacco fixes.

If there are any other FTers around in S Palm or N Broward that absolutely have nothing else to do and really have no other life, the place is on the E side of N Federal Hwy near N19th St in Boca Raton and the time is 630P tomorrow 10Nov. Reservations not required.