SYD to LHR on a Plane
Feb 10, 2004, 5:00 am
#107
Original Poster
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: In Exile
Programs: QFF WP :-0, AC, FlyBuys, Porter's Liquor Store, Mother's Helper
Posts: 2,496
Allright,
I lament my earlier claim of “writers cramp” and for fear of being reported to the Head Master for being a tease and no end of other despicable attributes - I will sally forth. Well perhaps to place just a few readers into their respective positions. One can endure taunts my Mother said but always reserve fire for a moment that will have the most impact. Arrival may yet be a while to go, only because I am actually very flatered by your eager responses
Part 14
Back at my seat and Verity has made up a comfortable looking bed complete with a little plate of chocolates on the pillow. First I must change and I grab my silk pyjamas and head off to the change room. I remember it from before, up the stairs somewhere near the pilot. Passing through the galley, Verity is busily chopping what appears to be salt and seems somewhat surprised to see me. Such dedication to her customers will see this girl rise high amongst the ranks of her profession. I smile at her and doff my head towards Purser who is sitting on a little seat reading an ancient copy of Hello Magazine. I lift my pyjamas in an attempt to show this little duck was getting ready for bed and head on past. The stairway is just ahead and as I clamber up I suddenly feel that the aeroplane has been turned upside down. I was sure the last plane had the business classes upstairs but it looks as though the masses are now on the upper deck and their sad little faces stretch for miles.
Bracing myself and relying on my intuitive sense to find the change room I stride forward. Just at that moment a passenger to the side of the stairs rises up in an attempt to grab the passing flanks of a passing flight attendant. Missing her completely, he falls toward me and lands at my feet at the top of the stairs. I look upon him with the same contemptuous look that I gave Mr. Gravy Shirt previously only to be met with the droopy smile of a character who has obviously partaken of a few too many beverages. Despite the pathetic appearance I reach out my hand to assist him to his seat only to be dragged to the floor on top of him. He mumbles something in a long sprawl akin to
‘ E’yem Inte…something Flub’and an embarrassing mistake I take him to be. Nonetheless, I help him to his feet and back to seat IL62. Settling him in he appears to regain some dignity and looks a little embarrassed at what has just occurred.
Mother taught me to have empathy towards others and was always on the lookout for such “chicks” and under her wing she would take them. Of course the next morning, at breakfast, I would study Mothers little chick whom she always sat close next to her as he woofed down a hearty meal like a primitive hunter back from the kill or an athlete replenishing lost energies from his physical exertions.
I recognise that his over indulgence is no doubt a release for his introversion (Mothers favourite) and an outlet no doubt for a sexual fantasy that would normally be buried deep under his mattress. I take the spare seat next to him and introduce myself. Flub is a funny looking bloke, obviously stuck in a time warp and one of those types that is easily bedazzled by anything bright and shiny, a moth perhaps - no doubt having trouble grappling with the fast changing world. The sort that wallows in old television shows as a comfort to their shy and awkward grasp with the here and now. Likeable enough I surmise but the sort you only want to meet up with at a cocktail bar where the unfolding theatre around is an easy distraction for his infrequent forays into the real world. As a show of friendship I call Verity and request a Vodka Dom for seat IL62, another friend I proclaim and if need be, charge it to my account. Saying my farewells, I move on toward the change room cursing that such facilities are so sparse onboard.
Eventually, I find the change room and pull open the door. Quell horror! The bare buttocks of Quentin in a pose with a woman that suggests a situation best left behind unless one is voyeuristically inclined - the happy couple no doubt eager to legitimise their nuptials. Human behaviour I decide is encapsulated “en micro” in the confines of an aeroplane or other such confines. Our routine lives are spent for the most part protecting our privacy and inner desires but given a change of environment, a strange beast overcomes us and we leave our inhibitions at home and be3come the primitive beast from which we evolved. I call Verity who sounds very “relaxed”, dreamy almost and request a bottle of Dom and glasses for my friends in the change room and if need be, charge it to my account. Left in a quandary as to where to change I decide to wait for Verity as by now my thirst is dragging at my throat like a sale sign in the window of Giorgio Armani. Verity arrives after a time, her dark skin flushed and eyes like saucers.
‘This should see you out Mr. Goldflyer’ she says with a funny grin to her face.
I take the glasses of Champagne and knock deliberately on the door to the change room as Verity swaggers down the aisle as if a model on a catwalk.
Quentin opens the door slightly with an embarrassed expression on his face.
‘No need I say’ and thrust forth two glasses as my offering to the newly wed Mr and Mrs. Q.F. Winker-Plat saying,
‘Enjoy the moment’ as Mother would say and she was one for a moment or two.
I notice the door ahead and peer inside. Familiar territory at last and I immediately notice the kindly gentleman with the headphones gazing into the dark sky beyond. Not the best of change rooms but feeling tired and exhausted. I want for any space to change so that I may slip into my awaiting bed. I place my drink on the console next to the nice young man who seems oblivious to my presence yet again, well; I put it down to the earphones as I slip out of my dy wear into the pyjamas. Busying myself with my new outfit, I reach for my glass and am horrified that the gentleman in the headphones has pilfered it and is sipping away contentedly.
[This message has been edited by GoldFlyer (edited Feb 10, 2004).]
[This message has been edited by GoldFlyer (edited Feb 10, 2004).]
I lament my earlier claim of “writers cramp” and for fear of being reported to the Head Master for being a tease and no end of other despicable attributes - I will sally forth. Well perhaps to place just a few readers into their respective positions. One can endure taunts my Mother said but always reserve fire for a moment that will have the most impact. Arrival may yet be a while to go, only because I am actually very flatered by your eager responses
Part 14
Back at my seat and Verity has made up a comfortable looking bed complete with a little plate of chocolates on the pillow. First I must change and I grab my silk pyjamas and head off to the change room. I remember it from before, up the stairs somewhere near the pilot. Passing through the galley, Verity is busily chopping what appears to be salt and seems somewhat surprised to see me. Such dedication to her customers will see this girl rise high amongst the ranks of her profession. I smile at her and doff my head towards Purser who is sitting on a little seat reading an ancient copy of Hello Magazine. I lift my pyjamas in an attempt to show this little duck was getting ready for bed and head on past. The stairway is just ahead and as I clamber up I suddenly feel that the aeroplane has been turned upside down. I was sure the last plane had the business classes upstairs but it looks as though the masses are now on the upper deck and their sad little faces stretch for miles.
Bracing myself and relying on my intuitive sense to find the change room I stride forward. Just at that moment a passenger to the side of the stairs rises up in an attempt to grab the passing flanks of a passing flight attendant. Missing her completely, he falls toward me and lands at my feet at the top of the stairs. I look upon him with the same contemptuous look that I gave Mr. Gravy Shirt previously only to be met with the droopy smile of a character who has obviously partaken of a few too many beverages. Despite the pathetic appearance I reach out my hand to assist him to his seat only to be dragged to the floor on top of him. He mumbles something in a long sprawl akin to
‘ E’yem Inte…something Flub’and an embarrassing mistake I take him to be. Nonetheless, I help him to his feet and back to seat IL62. Settling him in he appears to regain some dignity and looks a little embarrassed at what has just occurred.
Mother taught me to have empathy towards others and was always on the lookout for such “chicks” and under her wing she would take them. Of course the next morning, at breakfast, I would study Mothers little chick whom she always sat close next to her as he woofed down a hearty meal like a primitive hunter back from the kill or an athlete replenishing lost energies from his physical exertions.
I recognise that his over indulgence is no doubt a release for his introversion (Mothers favourite) and an outlet no doubt for a sexual fantasy that would normally be buried deep under his mattress. I take the spare seat next to him and introduce myself. Flub is a funny looking bloke, obviously stuck in a time warp and one of those types that is easily bedazzled by anything bright and shiny, a moth perhaps - no doubt having trouble grappling with the fast changing world. The sort that wallows in old television shows as a comfort to their shy and awkward grasp with the here and now. Likeable enough I surmise but the sort you only want to meet up with at a cocktail bar where the unfolding theatre around is an easy distraction for his infrequent forays into the real world. As a show of friendship I call Verity and request a Vodka Dom for seat IL62, another friend I proclaim and if need be, charge it to my account. Saying my farewells, I move on toward the change room cursing that such facilities are so sparse onboard.
Eventually, I find the change room and pull open the door. Quell horror! The bare buttocks of Quentin in a pose with a woman that suggests a situation best left behind unless one is voyeuristically inclined - the happy couple no doubt eager to legitimise their nuptials. Human behaviour I decide is encapsulated “en micro” in the confines of an aeroplane or other such confines. Our routine lives are spent for the most part protecting our privacy and inner desires but given a change of environment, a strange beast overcomes us and we leave our inhibitions at home and be3come the primitive beast from which we evolved. I call Verity who sounds very “relaxed”, dreamy almost and request a bottle of Dom and glasses for my friends in the change room and if need be, charge it to my account. Left in a quandary as to where to change I decide to wait for Verity as by now my thirst is dragging at my throat like a sale sign in the window of Giorgio Armani. Verity arrives after a time, her dark skin flushed and eyes like saucers.
‘This should see you out Mr. Goldflyer’ she says with a funny grin to her face.
I take the glasses of Champagne and knock deliberately on the door to the change room as Verity swaggers down the aisle as if a model on a catwalk.
Quentin opens the door slightly with an embarrassed expression on his face.
‘No need I say’ and thrust forth two glasses as my offering to the newly wed Mr and Mrs. Q.F. Winker-Plat saying,
‘Enjoy the moment’ as Mother would say and she was one for a moment or two.
I notice the door ahead and peer inside. Familiar territory at last and I immediately notice the kindly gentleman with the headphones gazing into the dark sky beyond. Not the best of change rooms but feeling tired and exhausted. I want for any space to change so that I may slip into my awaiting bed. I place my drink on the console next to the nice young man who seems oblivious to my presence yet again, well; I put it down to the earphones as I slip out of my dy wear into the pyjamas. Busying myself with my new outfit, I reach for my glass and am horrified that the gentleman in the headphones has pilfered it and is sipping away contentedly.
[This message has been edited by GoldFlyer (edited Feb 10, 2004).]
[This message has been edited by GoldFlyer (edited Feb 10, 2004).]
Feb 10, 2004, 7:30 am
#108
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Brisbane (BNE), Australia, QF/VA Forums Meeting Organiser
Programs: VA Plat, QF Gold (97.4% LTG), QP Life, AA (66% LTG). HH Diamond. Amex Plat, Visa Plat
Posts: 6,519
Priceless, Goldflyer, "absolutely top notch" as Father would have said.
However, in reading your latest effort at 12.30am BNE time, I've laughed a little too loudly and appear to have woken Mrs QF WP from her slumber. Now, I'm off to appease her with that champagne you so kindly charged to your account
You talent is wasted....give that time hungry job of yours the flick.
(edited for no real purpose, just because I could)
[This message has been edited by QF WP (edited Feb 10, 2004).]
However, in reading your latest effort at 12.30am BNE time, I've laughed a little too loudly and appear to have woken Mrs QF WP from her slumber. Now, I'm off to appease her with that champagne you so kindly charged to your account
You talent is wasted....give that time hungry job of yours the flick.
(edited for no real purpose, just because I could)
[This message has been edited by QF WP (edited Feb 10, 2004).]
Feb 10, 2004, 2:53 pm
#109
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: LHR BA Terraces 'Warden'
Posts: 1,060
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">
‘ E’yem Inte…something Flub’and an embarrassing mistake I take him to be.
Flub is a funny looking bloke, obviously stuck in a time warp and one of those types that is easily bedazzled by anything bright and shiny, a moth perhaps - no doubt having trouble grappling with the fast changing world. The sort that wallows in old television shows as a comfort to their shy and awkward grasp with the here and now. Likeable enough I surmise but the sort you only want to meet up with at a cocktail bar where the unfolding theatre around is an easy distraction for his infrequent forays into the real world. As a show of friendship I call Verity and request a Vodka Dom for seat IL62, another friend I proclaim and if need be, charge it to my account.
‘ E’yem Inte…something Flub’and an embarrassing mistake I take him to be.
Flub is a funny looking bloke, obviously stuck in a time warp and one of those types that is easily bedazzled by anything bright and shiny, a moth perhaps - no doubt having trouble grappling with the fast changing world. The sort that wallows in old television shows as a comfort to their shy and awkward grasp with the here and now. Likeable enough I surmise but the sort you only want to meet up with at a cocktail bar where the unfolding theatre around is an easy distraction for his infrequent forays into the real world. As a show of friendship I call Verity and request a Vodka Dom for seat IL62, another friend I proclaim and if need be, charge it to my account.
</font>
. I am sure to be corrected over time. :P~~~Now if we are flying up front, why are you buying me drinks? I am getting pampered as much as you. You also forgot to ensure that I am dressed in my yummmy Qantas jammies
and you should have shown me being pampered MORE than you, as that is how it works.
As for you being a 'Voyeur', what you do behind closed doors is YOUR business.
Very good. I think you are going to be flying Berlin to Moscow very shortly.
And this ain't spoil the brat airlines!
he he he (if time permits)
Next week (right about now in fact, but who's counting!?) I get to fly on a real plane and hopefully, I pray, in the front part of it, away from you riftraft. LOL
:P~~~
------------------
YAS+
[This message has been edited by InterflugIL62 (edited Feb 10, 2004).]
Feb 12, 2004, 2:49 pm
#110
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: A Southern locale that ain't the South.
Programs: Bah, HUMBUG!
Posts: 8,014
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by InterflugIL62:
[b] Very funny, very impressed. Way off as to me, but that is an understandable MISTAKE. I am sure to be corrected over time. :P~~~
Now if we are flying up front, why are you buying me drinks? I am getting pampered as much as you. You also forgot to ensure that I am dressed in my yummmy Qantas jammies
and you should have shown me being pampered MORE than you, as that is how it works.
As for you being a 'Voyeur', what you do behind closed doors is YOUR business.
Very good. I think you are going to be flying Berlin to Moscow very shortly.
And this ain't spoil the brat airlines!
he he he (if time permits)
Next week (right about now in fact, but who's counting!?) I get to fly on a real plane and hopefully, I pray, in the front part of it, away from you riftraft. LOL
:P~~~
</font>
[b] Very funny, very impressed. Way off as to me, but that is an understandable MISTAKE
. I am sure to be corrected over time. :P~~~Now if we are flying up front, why are you buying me drinks? I am getting pampered as much as you. You also forgot to ensure that I am dressed in my yummmy Qantas jammies
and you should have shown me being pampered MORE than you, as that is how it works.
As for you being a 'Voyeur', what you do behind closed doors is YOUR business.
Very good. I think you are going to be flying Berlin to Moscow very shortly.
And this ain't spoil the brat airlines!
he he he (if time permits)
Next week (right about now in fact, but who's counting!?) I get to fly on a real plane and hopefully, I pray, in the front part of it, away from you riftraft. LOL
:P~~~
</font>
What's "Why" like on the upper deck anyway??? Do they come through the cabin and just throw the food at you or does it actually get set down upon the tray?
Feb 12, 2004, 5:21 pm
#111
Original Poster
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: In Exile
Programs: QFF WP :-0, AC, FlyBuys, Porter's Liquor Store, Mother's Helper
Posts: 2,496
I'm so pleased someone else broke the news to interflug. I thought it was best to leave him in his own little world for as long as possible. I hate to see disappointment on peoples faces. As I said before, fantasy really is the only option for some. 
The poor poppet will no doubt be inspired or enraged to action with his trip report I'm supposedly going to feature in.
[This message has been edited by GoldFlyer (edited Feb 12, 2004).]
The poor poppet will no doubt be inspired or enraged to action with his trip report I'm supposedly going to feature in.
[This message has been edited by GoldFlyer (edited Feb 12, 2004).]
Feb 12, 2004, 11:43 pm
#112
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: HEL, Finland
Programs: AY Plat, SK Silver, FB Gold
Posts: 604
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by GoldFlyer:
I'm so pleased someone else broke the news to interflug. I thought it was best to leave him in his own little world for as long as possible. I hate to see disappointment on peoples faces. As I said before, fantasy really is the only option for some.
The poor poppet will no doubt be inspired or enraged to action with his trip report I'm supposedly going to feature in.
[This message has been edited by GoldFlyer (edited Feb 12, 2004).]</font>
I'm so pleased someone else broke the news to interflug. I thought it was best to leave him in his own little world for as long as possible. I hate to see disappointment on peoples faces. As I said before, fantasy really is the only option for some.
The poor poppet will no doubt be inspired or enraged to action with his trip report I'm supposedly going to feature in.
[This message has been edited by GoldFlyer (edited Feb 12, 2004).]</font>
Feb 13, 2004, 4:12 am
#113
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: LHR BA Terraces 'Warden'
Posts: 1,060
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by kanebear:
Er, my dear iron curtained friend, methinks the esteemed GoldFlyer hath shoved you in coach with Le' Riff-Raff... I'm curious how it smelled in that part of the cabin? I've heard some awful things about "Why". What's "Why" like on the upper deck anyway??? Do they come through the cabin and just throw the food at you or does it actually get set down upon the tray?</font>
Er, my dear iron curtained friend, methinks the esteemed GoldFlyer hath shoved you in coach with Le' Riff-Raff... I'm curious how it smelled in that part of the cabin? I've heard some awful things about "Why".
What's "Why" like on the upper deck anyway??? Do they come through the cabin and just throw the food at you or does it actually get set down upon the tray?</font>
Kanebear watch it
, or you may be taking a flight with Goldflyer as time permits. But you will be taking a flight!!he he
Our Iron curtained coach will make you long for coach on Qantas and the others, he he he
:P~
------------------
Heathrow Marriott Concierge and pillow fluffer,
Interflug customer service department, SXF.
AA Plat,Lifetime Gold, UA P/E, Marriott Silver, Sheraton Gold,
Hilton Silver(for now)
Feb 13, 2004, 4:17 am
#114
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: LHR BA Terraces 'Warden'
Posts: 1,060
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by GoldFlyer:
I'm so pleased someone else broke the news to interflug. I thought it was best to leave him in his own little world for as long as possible. I hate to see disappointment on peoples faces. As I said before, fantasy really is the only option for some.
The poor poppet will no doubt be inspired or enraged to action with his trip report I'm supposedly going to feature in.
[This message has been edited by GoldFlyer (edited Feb 12, 2004).]</font>
I'm so pleased someone else broke the news to interflug. I thought it was best to leave him in his own little world for as long as possible. I hate to see disappointment on peoples faces. As I said before, fantasy really is the only option for some.
The poor poppet will no doubt be inspired or enraged to action with his trip report I'm supposedly going to feature in.
[This message has been edited by GoldFlyer (edited Feb 12, 2004).]</font>
Oh sorry, did you say something???
I was in dreamland... now, back to sleep, thanks... she is really cute
Feb 13, 2004, 4:19 am
#115
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: LHR BA Terraces 'Warden'
Posts: 1,060
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by JuPe:
If Mr Interflug's only experience is flying on Interflug's IL-62M from Berlin to Hanoi or Havana, anything after that is an improvement.</font>
If Mr Interflug's only experience is flying on Interflug's IL-62M from Berlin to Hanoi or Havana, anything after that is an improvement.</font>
------------------
Heathrow Marriott Concierge and pillow fluffer,
Interflug customer service department, SXF.
AA Plat,Lifetime Gold, UA P/E, Marriott Silver, Sheraton Gold,
Hilton Silver(for now)
Feb 13, 2004, 9:24 am
#116
In Memoriam
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Katoomba (Blue Mountains)
Programs: Mucci
Posts: 8,083
"As for AbFab, my dear, Yes Prime Minister is the leading show from the UK and I will not entertain any exceptions to that rule, and yes, I make the rules, so that you know from now on."
Hardly - whilst YPM (and YM before it) is certainly up there with the best comedy in the world, it is no better - nor no worse - than such delights as "To The Manor Born", "The Vicar of Dibley", "Ab Fab", "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em" and so forth.
Each of them belongs to a different genre, and it is impossible to say which is best.
(Note how there are no Yankee "comedies" listed there? That's right, they don't know the meaning of "comedy".)
Dave
Hardly - whilst YPM (and YM before it) is certainly up there with the best comedy in the world, it is no better - nor no worse - than such delights as "To The Manor Born", "The Vicar of Dibley", "Ab Fab", "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em" and so forth.
Each of them belongs to a different genre, and it is impossible to say which is best.
(Note how there are no Yankee "comedies" listed there? That's right, they don't know the meaning of "comedy".)
Dave
Feb 13, 2004, 12:33 pm
#117
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: A Southern locale that ain't the South.
Programs: Bah, HUMBUG!
Posts: 8,014
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by InterflugIL62:
Our Iron curtained coach will make you long for coach on Qantas and the others, he he he
:P~
</font>
Our Iron curtained coach will make you long for coach on Qantas and the others, he he he
:P~
</font>
Feb 13, 2004, 1:55 pm
#118
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: LHR BA Terraces 'Warden'
Posts: 1,060
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by thadocta:
"As for AbFab, my dear, Yes Prime Minister is the leading show from the UK and I will not entertain any exceptions to that rule, and yes, I make the rules, so that you know from now on."
Hardly - whilst YPM (and YM before it) is certainly up there with the best comedy in the world, it is no better - nor no worse - than such delights as "To The Manor Born", "The Vicar of Dibley", "Ab Fab", "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em" and so forth.
Each of them belongs to a different genre, and it is impossible to say which is best.
(Note how there are no Yankee "comedies" listed there? That's right, they don't know the meaning of "comedy".)
Dave</font>
"As for AbFab, my dear, Yes Prime Minister is the leading show from the UK and I will not entertain any exceptions to that rule, and yes, I make the rules, so that you know from now on."
Hardly - whilst YPM (and YM before it) is certainly up there with the best comedy in the world, it is no better - nor no worse - than such delights as "To The Manor Born", "The Vicar of Dibley", "Ab Fab", "Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em" and so forth.
Each of them belongs to a different genre, and it is impossible to say which is best.
(Note how there are no Yankee "comedies" listed there? That's right, they don't know the meaning of "comedy".)
Dave</font>
I will give you To The Manor Born. Love that show and need to get it on DVD.
As for American, please, we rule the world in tv. Friends, West Wing, Law and Order, now the Apprentice(with Donald Trump)-I am so hooked), Frasier,
Will and Grace. Oh gosh need I go on?
There are so many. I travel and all I see is Yank tv. I just bought the full series of YPM and so been watching that to death.
I have never seen it in the UK, ironically.
Remember, it is all in fun, so no need to sling mud.
------------------
Heathrow Marriott Concierge and pillow fluffer,
Interflug customer service department, SXF.
AA Plat,Lifetime Gold, UA P/E, Marriott Silver, Sheraton Gold,
Hilton Silver(for now)
Feb 13, 2004, 1:57 pm
#119
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: LHR BA Terraces 'Warden'
Posts: 1,060
<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by kanebear:
Ooooh... FAs that double as Food Nazis??? I can hear it now... "You vant CHICKEN, you vant Beef! NO QUESTIONS!!! NO CHICKEN FOR YOU, NO NOTHING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!"
</font>
Ooooh... FAs that double as Food Nazis??? I can hear it now... "You vant CHICKEN, you vant Beef! NO QUESTIONS!!! NO CHICKEN FOR YOU, NO NOTHING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!"
</font>
------------------
Heathrow Marriott Concierge and pillow fluffer,
Interflug customer service department, SXF.
AA Plat,Lifetime Gold, UA P/E, Marriott Silver, Sheraton Gold,
Hilton Silver(for now)