I don't go up to enormous people and point out that they should toss out their bag of chips and try some fresh vegetables instead. I politely keep quiet, like everybody else. I am just pointing out that those few who do speak up are doing the other person a favour, welcome or unwelcome, and they are to be commended. Of course they are rude. There is no polite way to say "you are morbidly obese and if you don't stop eating those donuts you will slowly kill yourself". We need more rude people like that.

NO, we do not. They are not doing anyone any favors. We have more then enough rude and insensitive idiots in this world.

I think you are, in your thinking, mistaken that a stranger walking up to a person who is fat/smoking/drinking too much/etc/etc and saying THE OBVIOUS will actually make the person who is fat/smoking/drinking too much/etc/etc change.

It won't.

So why encourage the rude (nosy) behavior?

Tell him you began over-eating after you lost your wife to cancer because it helps to ease the pain. That should shut him up real fast.

The bible thumpers are even easier. I tell them that I am an ophite. Most know what that means, but if not I tell them we worship the snake because it gave man knowledge. That sends them running. :D

infinityplusone writes:

Actually it might. I was a Weight Watchers Lecturer for years and many of the most successful people in our program said that they started because of a comment regarding their weight which they heard from a stranger, often a child who was too young to understand "polite".

Good for you dear :rolleyes: Glad to know you 'work out, eat healthy ....blah blah blah ....' Its not fat people making your premium double.

Right on. It was tough early in life to let these things go but as I grew older, I've learned not to let many of these get into me personally. Since then I've been able to shrug off these little things.

No, we really don't need more rude people like that. It's possible that the enormous victim of this "favor" may have terrible dietary habits. It's also possible that they eat reasonably and are enjoying an occasional treat. They may have already lost a lot of weight; are they expected to abstain 100% from every type of not-so-healthy food forever? They may also be emotional eaters, in which case that hurtful "well-intentioned" remark may push them into a binge. My point is that it's a stranger, the "helper" doesn't know what's going on in his life, and it's not his place to judge or take it upon himself to "help" the other person.

Back when I used to smoke, it happened more often than you'd think. People used to walk out of their way to come over and break the news to me. Perhaps that's why I quit. :rolleyes:

Of course the most entertaining were the coughing drama queens. Once while I was at LAX, I walked to the 'end' of the terminal area, crossed onto the last median between the roadways, and had a smoke. I rather short plump woman made her way over to me, walked by waving her arms and coughing, as if she was going to die from second hand smoke instead of something relating to her bulk or the mass amounts of diesel exhaust in the area.

To the OP:

Laugh at or flip those type of people off depending on your mood as it will continue to happen. It is 'ok' to be rude to smokers and it is becoming more 'ok' to be rude to people who are above the 'normal' bodyweight. Sadly, our society has gotten caught up in being more concerned about others than themselves.

So we just look away. While the other person jumps down the bridge. It could, of course, have been possible that he was just looking down, trying to retrieve something.

Concerning the smoker someone else mentioned: yes I'd wish people would speak out more often and tell them how offensive the smell is, even across a room or outside. It seems to be necessary...

But I don't think it makes sense to discuss obese people and smoking people in the same context.

HTB.

"Tell him you began over-eating after you lost your wife to cancer because it helps to ease the pain. That should shut him up real fast."

Would you keep quiet if that destructive fix was another addiction like heroin, alcohol, cutting, gambling, anorexia, etc? Killing yourself is killing yourself.

People very rarely sit back and take a look at themselves and their lives and rarely sit down and ask someone of their honest objective opinion of them. It's a scary and enlightening exercise. In the OP's case, it could be that the person felt a rapport and thought that they were chummy enough to mention that. In the case of someone self-medicating with food, by having a stranger point it out, they're forced to acknowledge they have a problem.

Any addiction or compulsion with a strong underlying cause should be treated with therapy and not more food. If someone were eating themselves to death because of grief, that is a problem that they need to realize they have and they need in dealing with it. There are support groups and 12 step programs for this kind of thing.

"As SJC1K has correctly pointed out, fat/heavy people know they're fat/heavy. They don't need anyone telling them. "

As was pointed out here by people who have been in weight loss programs, people telling them seems to have a clear effect. They might know they're heavy, but people are impacted by the opinions of others. It's one of the reasons why addicts are often given an intervention before they hit rock bottom. In the case of obese people, sadly, this intervention is often with a cardiologist after a heart attack.

What with this Internet thingy we all use, the world seems more and more anonymous, and I personally fight that trend by offering advice to complete strangers, whom I approach whenever I feel I can make a difference in their lives. It also passes the time nicely. Some recent examples of my being useful to complete strangers in airports:

1. fashion co-ordination advice to a man wearing a plaid shirt and striped pants;
2. childrearing tips to a woman having problems handling her two-year-old;
3. grooming suggestion to a man with an obvious comb-over;
4. counseling a loudly arguing young couple about their obvious incompatibilty;
5. recommendation for anger management when the comb-over hit me.


:p

By people who love them, not by random strangers in airports. There's enough rudeness around without helpful advice.

Mind you, I'd love to start handing out advice to SUV drivers and adherents of religions I think are daffy, but my mother raised me to be to keep my unsolicited opinions to myself.

"1. fashion co-ordination advice to a man wearing a plaid shirt and striped pants;
2. childrearing tips to a woman having problems handling her two-year-old;
3. grooming suggestion to a man with an obvious comb-over;
4. counseling a loudly arguing young couple about their obvious incompatibilty;
5. recommendation for anger management when the comb-over hit me."

I don't think we're talking about someone who is 500 lbs making the comment to the person. Your examples are more of that variety and thus are not applicable. The OP didn't note any irony in what the person said or that the comments didn't hold merit. Just that they were not fitting.

"By people who love them, not by random strangers in airports. There's enough rudeness around without helpful advice."

The comments made were inappropriate, but not rude. Rude would be hey porky, you might want to hit Subway instead of McDonald's. Inappropriate would be someone acting a little more familiar than they actually are. From what I read, the OP didn't note that there was anything like this that happened. It was merely that the person he was having a conversation with overstepped what he saw as a boundary.

"By people who love them"

Very few people that I know get feedback like this from family members. You tell us how exactly you tell your significant other that they could lose a few pounds. That's always a solid move for the relationship.

There is something about frequent travel that turns some people into ‘superior beings’.

Just ignore it, move on and let it go-life is too short to waste any of it on the comments of an idiot.

I do not fit the ‘self-important business traveler’ model and often get looks and occasional remarks in First or in the World Club. It used to aggravate me until one day when someone questioned my attire and age in the World Club i.e. no suit and obviously under 60. Then at the gate (luckily we were on the same flight) he attempted to push me out of line for the agent as I was checking on an upgrade saying. ‘I am Gold and will certainly get an upgrade before you, why don’t your wait your turn’. Witnessing this, the agent said, ‘Mr. AZOGRR, we appreciate our Platinums and I am happy to give you your upgraded boarding pass’ then-‘Sir, I am sorry, but there are several Platinums ahead of any Golds today and it is unlikely that you will be upgraded, please take a seat and board when called’.

This was satisfying and reminded me that it is always dangerous to judge and even more dangerous to allow ourselves to be judged.