My $.02: A simple "GFY" gets the job done.

If it had been me, I would have tried to change the subject of the conversation once, and if he insisted on coming back to it, I would have asked him to drop it.

The GFY bomb would be ready and used if it was mentioned again.

No need for you to try and justify or qualify your actions to a stranger met in public while on travel.

Please see post #4. If that doesn't get the message across, then see post #16. Thank you.

^^^

Or something along the lines of 'I may appear unhealthy, but at least I'm not judgemental and rude. Unhealthy can be reversed more easily'

Yes, it's a play on dear old Winston's retort.

And much more polite. Sheep's editing Mummy's posting again, right?

I wasn't very polite I suppose above. But I like how the poster above wants to blame fat people for his insurance rates. Should I go up to people with cancer or transplant patients and say they raised my rates? Because individually, people with those huge dollar maladies are very costly, as well. If you're going to blame someone with unhealthy habits, then blame ALL the "unhealthy."

But no, the overweight continue to get disdain and scorn. Perhaps that poster ought to find a good job with group health benefits -- I pay $0 a month for my insurance. Or move to a place where the gubmint takes care of you.

It's a free world and people can say what they like.

On the whole people are much too afraid to speak up and offend strangers so they keep quiet instead.

You see a mom yelling at her small kids and smacking them so you turn away and pretend you don't see it.

Or the co-worker with the severe alcohol problem that everyone knows about but nobody says anything. Let's all enable this guy's drinking problem by covering for him and pretending everything is fine.

Or the enormous guy next to you chowing down on fried food and ice cream. Perhaps being a little rude to him would be kinder that standing by while he eats himself to death.

The rude and inconsiderate person has done you a favour. Be offended and angry all you want, but also think about what he has said and take it to heart.

And yes I am being rude inconsiderate and thoughtless. Not like those other people who shut up and pretend nothing is wrong, while they are thinking exactly what the rude gentleman said to you.

Is the person harming other people?
Yes.
Then I speak up.

Otherwise, it is a free country and they can live their life (or not live it much longer as the case may be) as they see fit (no pun intended).

Someone saying something in passing like this, I HIGHLY doubt will have any effect on the person... other then to depress them or make them annoyed.


I recall something similar happening to myself and mrs. infinityplusone when infinityplusone jr 01 came along. He was about 4-5 months old. We had traveled back to my old stomping grounds and contacted several friends to get together. One friend suggested a place to eat and we asked about bringing ipo jr 01 along and he said that it was a family friendly place, so we brought baby along.

The "place" was similar to a TGI Friday's or an Applebee's, it was not a Double Deuce type of joint. We were seated in a non-smoking section about as far from the bar as we could get. Although I do recall thinking that the music was on the loud side and wondering if it would wake him up... it didn't.

IPO jr 01 was fast asleep in his baby carrier, set up in one of those baby carrier restaurant holder things at our table and a lady walked up to us and forcefully said, "You shouldn't have him out in a place like this, he is much too young."

Mrs. ipo said, "Oh I think he is doing fine."
I said, "Thanks for your concern but as you can see he is not under any stress."

Several of my friends start laughing and the lady gets upset and says, "Well I don't think you should have him here."

I said, "That's nice." turned my back as much as I could towards the lady and re-started the conversation among my friends.

She stood there for a few more seconds and then left.


How so? Unless you think rude and inconsiderate people interjecting their opinions into your life affects true lifestyle and behavior changes. :rolleyes:

You are right about that and they can expect to have "something" said back to them as well.

As someone mentioned previously... depending on my mood I would respond accordingly.

1) Stop talking and make it a point to obviously ignore him (pull out a book, put on headphones). (very passive)
1) Smile nicely and nod my head vigorously making sure he could tell I was patronizing him. (passive)
2) Tell him to GFO. (aggressive)
3) Tell him that I appreciate his concern for my well-being, then ask him if he is truly concerned for my well-being and he is not trying to make a pass at me or has some other nefarious motive in chatting me up. (passive-aggressive)
3a) Tell him that I appreciate his concern for my well-being and that I have truly taken it to heart. Then excuse myself for my flight and on the way to my gate stop by the TSA and give them a detailed description of the gentleman and tell them how I thought I saw him fiddling with some dangerous looking b.o.m.b. type object back in X restaurant. (very passive-aggressive)

^^^ love it

You know what? The enormous guy has noticed that he's fat. He knows how to take action if he chooses to. Your "kindness" does him no good.

If someone else is being harmed, you can intervene. If the big guy is usurping your space, you can speak up. But if a fat guy is doing no one but himself harm and inconveniencing no one, leave him alone.

^

And you may want to add finger #2 for emphasis.

Completely agree. ^

It's fine in some cases to point out things that people may not be aware of -- for example, the toilet paper stuck to one's shoe.

But criticizing or trying to "help" a stranger for a condition or behavior that they're obviously aware of, not asking for help with, and that's not hurting anyone else -- that's just rude and totally uncalled for. :td:

And you really think the rude gentlemen was letting him on something he didn't already know? Who are you kidding? Why was it his place to criticize the OP on his eating habits?

Live and let live.

Amen, Amen, Preach it Brother! (or Sister, as the case may be)

For some, being over- or under-weight isn't a matter of choice or dieting or exercising or anything else. For some, their body/metabolism/brain makes that decision for them and they are shanghai-ed along for the ride. Any attempts they make to change will frequently make things worse.

Making rude, pointed or unkind comments as a way of pushing your moral superiority isn't going to make a lick of difference to these people. They can't change it, and I guarantee they would, if they could.

I've seen it, up close and personal. Not me, but someone people VERY dear to me.