The OP could have always exercised the "nuclear option" which would have been to give the guy one warning, and when he persisted just say: "Look, I told you once to shut up. Keep talking and they'll find your head in a dumpster." And then give him a real psychotic look.

I haven't tried it myself, but I'm sure it would work, right?



:D

(Like you need it)

"Mind your own business" is definitely the appropriate response, with (as others have pointed out) STFU or GFY any of the other many nice profanities as a next step if they don't get the picture.

OP:

I applaud your ability to stay calm. I probably would have ended up on the news!

This is a very wise post. While this person had no right to tell you want you should be eating, think of the quality of your life. As a person who grew up with two parents in and out of the hospital due to unheathly phyiscal and mental issues, I know very well what poor habits lead up to. And its not fun.

I can see it now:

"You think my eating habits are what I should be worried about? Personally, I'm much more concerned about my psychopathic tendencies!"

... followed by the eyes-burning-through-your-skull look.

Of course, you could have a little trouble boarding your flight if anyone else around you happened to overhear. ;)

An incident happened years ago that I still vividly remember.

I was standing in line at an ice cream parlour in Vancouver on a hot summer day. There were small tables with the kind of metal folding chairs that are made to support small to medium size people.

Two four-hundred pound women were lined up. One of them got tired of waiting and took a seat on a folding chair. With a loud "boom" the chair collapsed and the woman found herself on the floor.

The manager of the ice cream place came out and apologized profusely to the woman. Then the enormous woman got back in line and ordered a two-scoop ice cream cone.

No one was rude enough to mention that the whole incident was the woman's fault, and everyone minded their own business instead of telling this woman to take it easy on the ice cream. We were all polite even though everyone was surely thinking the same thing.

Are we not our brothers' keepers? By being polite and keeping quiet, we didn't help this woman at all. This was fifteen years ago and no doubt she is now either dead of suffering from heart disease.

I am not the type to speak up in a situation like this, but I applaud those who do.

Honestly, do you think she didn't know she was fat? Do you think she didn't know the causal relation between eating ice cream and her obesity? What would a stranger's words have told her that the collapse of the chair didn't?

I don't need help from strangers with respect to my diet, my exercise, or my relationship with G*d. Strangers whom I am not inconveniencing and who don't need my help should mind their own business.

See if he wants a nice hot cup of shut the hell up.

So publicly humiliating her and making her feel bad about herself is an effective solution?

FWIW: I've met AKDan in person and he is more of a big guy than a fat guy. I wouldn't give another thought to what that moron was saying. Most of us could stand to lose a few pounds, but you aren't a butterball turkey, Dan. ;)

Here's the thing: if it's okay to criticize a fat person's choice of meal, then everyone should criticize everyone's choice of meal, regardless of the eater's size. Because apparently in order to be healthy, you must eat 100% healthy meals 100% of the time. :rolleyes:

You have no idea of the scenario with a given person, but I guarantee you anyone who is overweight is pretty damn well aware of it. But unless you eat perfectly 100% of the time, STFU. Maybe that person just lost 100 pounds but still has a ways to go. You're going to sit there and tell him he's not doing enough for his health? Who died and made you arbiter of such things? This kind of crap is not helpful.

It's no different than telling every smoker "Hey, you know, those things will kill you." That's the "Duh" of the century, right? Do you think it would be productive to tell every smoker you ran across something like this? Why do people think this food/weight thing is any different?

Actually, you probably would be better off warning the thin people eating the bad food since they're the ones that are going to have those totally unexpected heart attacks and such.

Exactly right. You don't know why a given person is fat (The latest research indicates that it's NOT just "calories vs. energy expended"--there are complicating factors), and you don't know that they AREN'T thinner than they used to be.

Furthermore, I'm old enough now so that I know a few thin, athletic people whose diets were so low-fat that their food practically crumbled and who have experienced, even died from heart attacks.

Well, fat people can always diet, but morons are stupid forever.

I have never been approached by a person like this, but God help someone who does. I'm not enormous by any means, but I can stand to lose a few pounds. But put your nose in my business and being told to GFY would be about the most polite response you could expect.

Tough call. You certainly do have the right to tell the person its not their business. They might not have noticed what they were doing, but if I was to the point where strangers were going out of their way to tell me that my clothes don't match, I smell bad, am too big to be eating McDonald's, etc, I certainly would give some thought to what they said.

Certainly if there is one person who is actually willing to step up and say something, it's highly likely that everyone else around is thinking the same thing, but are too polite to say anything.

By that logic, when I was 12 or so, I should have paid heed to the crazy woman on the subway who told me that my Dungeons & Dragons game was eeevil, instead of giving her a "that's nice, lady" response and then ignoring her.

I was smarter than that THEN.

Of your examples above, only ONE of them ("I smell bad") has any impact on anyone else.

"My clothes don't match"... well, indeed, mine very often don't. Lovely thing about being a techie is, they don't have to. I can wear sport sandals to work, and if I feel like wearing a really really bright yellow shirt to work some days because it cheers me up, I can do that :) Why the heck should anyone else care if my boss doesn't?

As for the current "your being fat is MY BUSINESS" or "your unhealthy eating habits are MY BUSINESS" crud, just shows you there are a lot of busybodies. It's not like telling someone to stop smoking in your presence... unless they're spilling their BBQ sauce ON you, it's more like getting on their case because they have a pack in their shirt pocket.