When...

You have to explain to the sales assistant at Nordstrom in Chicago why you are returning a pair of shoes she sold you three days ago.

"I tried them on when I got home and they didn't fit properly."
"But you live in Britain, sir?"

When you fly Amsterdam to Marseille, and recognize Paris by CDG airport and Orly but you don't recognize anything else, and you have lived there for 6 months. Just happened to me last week.

Timo

You get into your hotel after a late flight and discover that not only have the bar and restaurants closed but room service has finished too. You hop in the car to the nearest late-opening convenience store and are able to buy enough bits and pieces to "cook" a three course meal using nothing more than the coffee maker in your room.

When you've already seen all the movies of interest available for viewing on the plane, AND all the "on command" movies available in your hotel room except for the porn and children's movies . . .

I wanna hear more about this :-:

Luggage
 

You get off the plane and procede to Baggage Claim forgetting where you just were as you have been in 8 cities in the past two days.

~happened to me

If you travel to less developed countries regularly:
 

When at home, you look for the bottled water to clean your teeth with, and when eating out at home always ask for your drinks without ice, or at the very least think twice about drinking anything with ice in it.

I know when I've travelled too much when
 

-I can remember the entire IFE program from my last flight.
-When a couple of the IFE songs get stuck in my head and I can't fall asleep in my own bed.
-When I run out to buy items to recreate the meal I had onboard including the mixed nuts and sundaes.
-When I tell the checkin agent if they have any upgrades.
-When filling out the Customs form I forget to sign it.
-When I noitced a faux pas onboard a Suntrips Charter when they played the "Welcome to The United States Customs video" on a flight to Hawaii.
-When I say that I want my usual Coke or Pepsi with the can ,lemon and ice.
-When the flight attendants roll out the "second meal" on my flight home and I feel bloated but can't pass up a free meal.
-When I hit my bed at home when it's 4 P.M.
-When I run to my computer to download the IFE audio program.
-When Airshow displays the time to the destination I count down the seconds listening to my favorite music on the IFE.
-When the flight attendant on a Corsair flight from ORY to OAK said a secrete code word on the intercom.
-When I have a bad taste in my mouth of the godly coffee they serve.
-When I wear my eyemask,airline socks , and suit to bed at home.
-When I take any remaining amenity kits home and the airline blanket.
-When I call the airline the next day to book my next trip.

The list could go on and on and on.

One more thing
 

When the Safety Demo needs to be repeated because the flight attendant forgot to add the Spanish subtitles cough cough .... had this happen on American Airlines. Or on EL Al when they say you can't listen to your own CD player when their competetors let you listen to it.

Oh and when you have to wait a long time when the message is being said in the native tongue before it gets translated to Englihsh.Trying to pick out key words just to make sure nothing is left out.Or when a native speaker says the entire translation is not right.

Arriving in JFK from LHR a couple of weeks before Christmas, the immigration office swiped my UK passport in the reader and after studying his computer screen for a few more moments asked "Do you live over here?" to which I replied that I didn't but I came to the USA rather a lot. After he'd finished with all the fingerprinting and paperwork he said "welcome home" :)

On my arrival back at LHR the immigration officer looked at me and said - I saw you a couple of weeks ago!

I'll post more on the cooking thing later for those who are curious :)

A couple more.

When the immigration officer (not at the "home" airport :eek: ) recognises you from last week.

When you keep missing the latest great but shortlived deal posted on FT because you were in the air the whole time until it got pulled (or availability run out).

Toiletries
 

.. or more to the point, when you dont have to buy any of these as never get through the free amenities (from planes, hotels)

...or you're reading the FT Archives lite version at http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/archive/index.php because you're reading from a smartphone at the airport, and it doesn't allow you to post.

Oh, one more:

You know you fly too often when you talk to other people and refer to cities by their airport codes ("I'll be going to MCO this weekend." <-- oh, that one's actually true!). :)

When your Flyertalk screen name is.... :D !!