broadwayblue

That would really make me angry...although in this case it was a like for like. But still. Why do people think they can just do whatever they like? Having a FA reinforce their selfish behavior doesn't benefit anyone.

darthbimmer

Actually, there are cases where asking a question hurts. One of those cases is this one, where a person observes that I have something nice and proposes that I give it to him without fair compensation. The harm done is in the first impression: I now consider him avaricious and will view with suspicion every subsequent "offer" he makes to me in the future. Of course, if our only interaction ever is this airline seat there's no downside to him in such a shameless request. And that's why people do it. But how does he know we won't meet again?

meester69

Correct, he doesn't take up much space, he can sleep in a standard economy seat, and he is old enough to amuse himself.

If he needs to get out from his window seat he will find it much easier to get past than an adult would, and if he's in the aisle they can get past him.

With the 3 + 1 rather than 2 + 2arrangement only one of our party is next to a stranger who will annoy us (or us annoy them indeed). Being small and basically quiet he is less likely to annoy or be annoyed by a stranger than me, at 6' and 200 pounds.

For some reason some airlines (and possibly their passengers) seem to think that children at high risk of molestation in-flight. While it has happened, it is very unlikely to happen with us in the next aisle.

peachfront

I get asked or someone just tries to grab my seat a lot because I'm small, female, and un-intimidating. The answer is still "no." I'm just sick of it.

It's different if we're all in first, and we're all in the wrong seats because of the way the upgrades came in. Then I'll swap to put husband with wife and me with friend. However, I don't get involved in swaps in coach. There is nothing to gain. I have my aisle seat already, and I'm keeping it. Seat poachers get reported to the flight attendant. I no longer discuss it with them.

At some point, small people get sick of being pushed around. And I am definitely THERE.

drewguy

Evidently he could not survive three hours in coach.

gobluetwo

Rather than doing 3 in one row and 1 in front, I'd do 3 and then 1 across the aisle.

As for what I'd do about seat poachers or requesters, I think I'll try the technique mentioned in other threads of negotiating the buy-up fee. If the copay for an F upgrade is $250, I'd gladly take $200. If the buy-up to Economy Plus on UA is $40, I'd probably take it. Not sure they'd want to part with it, though, given that they're already trying to get something for nothing.

zcat18

Agreed. Oh, and don't you even begin to let thoughts of slightly reclining your seat enter your mind, lest you disturb the delicate and far more valuable (than yours) sensibilities of a tall person behind you!

As a shorter guy, I have on rare occasions felt looked down upon (figuratively AND literally) by tall people--mostly a few bad eggs--who seem to believe that their genetic lot in life somehow entitles them to treat shorter than average people with disdain and as inferiors.

That being said, while I do think it is absurd for someone in Y to expect someone in F to switch seats with them, I don't see any of this as life and death. I would not entertain the idea of switching from F to Y, but [edit] simply being asked [/edit] wouldn't ruin my day or my travel experience like it seems to for some people.

drewguy

This is like the rationale for spam email. Because someone somewhere might fall for the "viagra" available from Thailand, we all get subjected to the onslaught. It doesn't make it acceptable--it wastes everybody's time and creates annoyance.

If your proposed swap is approximately equal or presents extenuating circumstances, fine, but has anyone ever given up an F or C seat in other circumstances?

exbayern

Absolutely.

How many men would go to another man and say very loudly 'MOVE!'? I think that a single female is still often perceived as weak, or an inexperienced flyer.

I also think that women do a lot of the bullying to try and make other women move.

In my experience most of the men who try and make me move are passive aggressive, whilst the women tend to be snarky or rude.

Very few of them are actually nice about it! That surprises me most; if I wanted someone to do me a favour I wouldn't go about it in that fashion.

kebosabi

Thankfully I never had this; must be how I look (Asian-American) and the Japanese comic books and novels that I immediately whip out as soon as I sit in my seat. They assume I don't speak English so they leave me alone.

Only when the FA comes around with the drink service in which I reply "Ginger Ale mixed with Cranapple" in perfect English do they realize that I'm American. But by then it's too late.

Fredd

Ah, the old inscrutable trick... ^

spaceflyer

The situation the OP posts is really untenable, and no one should have to put up with the heavily entitled doing as they please and then getting their panties in a bunch when they get caught sneaking seats or trying to pull fast ones like a Y for F swap.

I have been asked many times to swap, and as with everyone else, if it's an equivalent swap, I'll entertain the idea. But, I won't put up with snotty demands and whiny complaints. Not my problem.

I have asked to be seat swapped exactly once, and the situation was that I was boarding a flight that we'd been switched to because of a mechanical with our original flight. In addition to that, I was trying to walk with crutches and had my left leg in a "boot" due to an injury I sustained while on the trip (I was returning home). It was sort of the trifecta of lousy timing and flight-related mishaps that I hope never happens again.

Anyway, at the gate, the GA had tried to get us together in HJ so I could get a little leg room once we were seated and so that my spouse could help with the carryons, etc. However, the best the GA could do was me in one aisle and my spouse in an another row and across the plane (it was a 2-5-2 configuration). After she gave us our BPs, she decided to come onboard and see if she could facilitate a swap for us -- even though I told her I thought we could manage.

It was a same-cabin swap, so no class issues were involved. Even with that, no one was willing to swap, and one woman got positively angry and was spitting in our faces in anger at the GA for even asking. We kept telling the GA that if it didn't work, we'd just take our original seats.

She then offered us an upgrade on the next flight. As it was an overseas flight, that meant the next one wouldn't be until late the next day, and they weren't offering a hotel or anything. We thanked her and took our seats.

At that point, another passenger came down the aisle and suggested to the GA that he and his wife could change with us (they were several rows ahead of us and had boarded after we did). They had overheard the woman who got angry .....ing about even being asked to change, and decided to come back and offer us some help. They were so nice and generous that we did accept their offer. The woman who was angry was seated a row in back of us and continued to ..... out loud to the FAs that she'd been asked to swap and couldn't believe the nerve of some people. Finally, I just put on my headphones, took a painkiller, and went to sleep.

Because of that experience, I am sensitive to folks who may have a legitimate need to swap, as I did. I know how it feels, and that's the only time I'd ask for a swap. But, that's it. Particularly if I've paid for an F-class seat, or whatever, I'm not likely to want to change for something that I didn't select in the first place.

shawbridge

I don't usually switch except for an even exchange. I find it is usually the wife and not the husband whose asking me to change. I had one suggested switch from an aisle F to bulkhead F. As I'm 6'2" and have had a few knee injuries/surgeries, stretching out is something I value, and have turned down the proposed switches that reduce leg room. I do always propose that they consider switching with the person in the other row. That has never happened. Not sure why. When I haven't switched, I sometimes get grumping from the unhappy wife, though in one case (BOS-MIA), I had a lovely conversation with the wife even though I didn't take the bulkhead F. I prefer to be generous when I can.

I am just not going to let people's sense of entitlement or grumping bother me. Life is too short.

Interestingly, there do seem to be two sets of attitudes about asking. I have a sister-in-law who is very self-focused. She wants to make things just so for herself and family. She will make requests that I find insensitive but she figures, "You might not mind, so there's no harm in asking." However, if you say to her the magic new age code words, "That doesn't work for me," she completely backs down and takes no offense. And, if you communicate your needs to her, she tries to include that in her definition of "just so."

I on the other hand wouldn't ask if I thought the request was unreasonable or unfair. Not so with SIL. I've just learned to let it go (sometimes I have a response and then let it go). Interestingly, she is a bit sensitive on the couple of occasions when I decided to assert what I want (when with others I would have coordinated more delicately).

fiveninerzero

Asking to switch in the same cabin is one thing. If somebody asked me what you were asked, to downgrade classes in order to sit with her husband, I would seriously flip out, and the end state would probably be me being kicked off the aircraft and her husband would have gotten to sit next to her anyways.

Ancien Maestro

Just say no.. end of story..

Glad you're sticking to your guns and setting the rules straight for everyone's enjoyment..

Calm, cool and collected..

If I had a second to think.. I would suggest that the lady would switch to coach..