A friend who's a marriage counselor talked about a woman who's a friend of his and who called and asked his advice this week. Apparently she has to travel occasionally for her work and her husband has decided that he doesn't like the idea of other guys seeing her nude or of her getting a grope in front of other guys (and she apparently refuses to opt-out preferring to avoid the grope at any cost). Basically, he wants her to stop traveling, which is not possible with her job.

He said that he expects to see more of this, that most guys don't like other guys seeing their wife nude. A lot will 'man-up' about it on the outside, but underneath it will eat at them every time their wife goes through a nude-o-scope. His concern is that for many men this will devalue their wives, very slowly and in some cases without the men even realizing the extent that it's happening. The result being a slow breakdown in an otherwise good marriage.

He said that this new policy is breaking a centuries old social contract that has been a core element of stable communities and is even more important in today's more egalitarian society.

My first objection was that women go to male ob-gyn's all the time and that hasn't been an issue. True, he said, but over a quarter of women do choose female ob-gyn's and some because their husband want's them to. Also, it's easier for men to deal with something that happens very rarely and that involves someone with 12 years of medical school versus a variety of people who are basically minimum-wage. He then noted that even the best male ob-gyn's are still human and not immune from occasional arousal by their patients, they just hide it. He said it affects everyone slightly differently, that on one end of the scale are guys who are turned on by seeing their wife with other guys at a swingers club and on the other end are guys who can't deal with other guys even looking at her, and then everything in the middle.

Thought this was interesting.

I was wondering when this would come up. I'm a practicing counselor and I've been concerned about the potential mental health ramifications of these new security procedures since I heard of them coming out.

I could see some husbands being very concerned about their wives and not wanting them to travel any longer.

JBC78

It will "eat at them" because PERMITTING IT IS NOT "MANNING UP" IT IS WIMPING OUT, BEHAVING AS A COWARD AND NOT PROTECTING YOUR WIFE.

Our language has been stood on it's head. Now, to "man up" apparently means to ALLOW your wife to be molested. Good grief. Evil is good, black is white, "newspeak" has confused a whole damned generation.

My thoughts are that some men need to get over the fact they don't own their wives, they don't control their wives and that most women are usually perfectly capable of looking after themselves.. it's not about men "allowing" things to happen to their wives or not

If some guy feels his wife is 'devalued' because some other man has seen her naked in a non-sexual way, then there is something seriously wrong with a guy who would feel like this and he needs to look at his own attitudes which seem to regard his wife as little more than chattel.

I get what you are saying Jenbel. Certainly I agree women are capable of looking after themselves. There does seem to be a tendancy amoung some men to be overly posessive in very unhealthy ways. That being said however, I could see a man wanting to protect his wife from what he believes to be abuse and not have any nefarious intent at all.

JBC78

I have sat here and thought about this a bit since this topic was posted.

My wife sees a male ob/gyn. I have no problem with this. She preferrs it, due to bad experiences she's had with the way she's been treated by female ob/gyn. Its part of his job. He has also learned, I hope, to detach himself from the erotic part of his job to do his job. Plus, if he did anything inapproriate, my wife would deck him, THEN tell me so I could do the same.

I don't own my wife. She is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. However, some schmuck in a blue shirt who thinks he's more than he is looking at a virtual nude picture her, and possibly deriving some twisted sense of arousal from it? Well, I have a problem with that. That doesn't mean I have a problem with people looking at my wife. Hell, if I see them do it, I smile like "yeah, she's with me, not with you, so there!" But there is just so much wrong with what the TSA is doing.

This sounded better in my head.

I am the first to say "deal with it, I can look after myself". That being said, do I want a partner who is cavalier about other people seeing me naked? Honestly, no, I want him to care. It may or may not change my behavior, but I want those protective instincts.

Second this. I would be very upset if someone forced my wife to strip against her will but if she chooses to do so that's entirely her business.

Glad to see a guy admit he doesn't own his wife. It seems like a lot of men are concerned with TSA seeing their wife and children naked, but forget that we may feel the same way about not wanting TSA to see our husbands naked.

WOW is there no end to absurdity of blame for other peoples failures or anticipated failures on TSA?

Absurdity goes game, set and match to the TSA

I'd be very upset if Mrs. Fredd were to be subjected to anything that she felt was degrading, demeaning or inappropriate. I have every confidence she can look after herself and I'll be there to support her.

For those women who don't mind the groping searches, e.g. Whoopi Goldberg, or who claim to enjoy them, e.g. "celebrity attorney" Gloria Allred, that's their choice.

First, I've been married 19 years and don't know the gender of my wife's Ob/Gyn.

My wife (travels 3-4 times per year, all vacation-related) is very angry about the new TSA grope/assault since the Cleveland Plain Dealer had a front-page article last Saturday.

We're in agreement that under no cirmcustance will our teen-age children go through the Nud-e-Scope next month when we travel.
My angle was gross invasion of privacy.
Her opinion (with a master's in pediatric nursing) is radiation, recent calibration of the machine, and, also, invasion of privacy.

We've told our children they are not to speak/reply to anyone in a TSA uniform, unless there's some sort of emergency or they are lost/separated from us at an airport.

She's really in a "lather" over the whole thing.
She's written our U.S. Congressman, both Ohio Senators, and our Senator-elect. ^

I haven't yet cancelled the family vacation to Florida in December and have had the same conversation. You (teenaged children) will go/do what I tell you - if a TSA tells you something and I tell you something different - do what I say and I will deal with the TSA. Keep walking with confidence and don't look back - if I have to come get you, or am forced to comply with TSA I will tell you, and we'll figure it out. Thou shalt not be barked at.

My Ob / Gyn does not look at me completely nude. I am covered modestly except for the area being examined. I receive a medical benefit from the exam. This is different with the NoS.

My Ob, and my husband of 25 years are the only people who I will allow to see me undressed. I maintain modesty even in a gym locker room. Although we have not discussed his feelings about the NoS with regards to me, I know that my husband would have an issue with me being given a dose of radiation without medical benefit, and would protect my desire for modesty at a security check point.

I have been "randomly" selected (and opted out) the last 3 out of 3 trips. He travels twice that and has not been selected. He understands and shares my disgust at the new procedures.