Using profanity shifts the focus from the TSAs inappropriate beahvior to your "inappropriate" behavior. I don't see what can be gained by that (except feeling good for a few seconds).

Do you know what works well? If the foreign language doesn't even exist. Or is a con-lag. Klingon works well as a con-lag, as does Sindarin.

Generally, the police (on more than one occasion) have said things to me like, "These guys are just doing their jobs. Why don't you make it easy for everyone?" That gets a predictable response from me. Eventually, everyone gets tired, and they let me board my flight. I've never been stopped, as far as I can recall.

Bruce

Depends where you are when they ask - inside the sterile area or in the non-sterile side of the terminal and you plan on flying, I would avoid profanity and just tell them it's not their concern or to reference the boarding pass in their hand.

If you're in the non-sterile side and not flying or out of the terminal building (i.e. parking lot, roadway, etc), let your conscious be your guide - there is absolutely nothing they can do to you.

My favorite tactic:

"Where are you going today?"

I'm sorry, could you speak louder, I can't hear well.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING TODAY?"

What?

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING TODAY?"

YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO

They usually give up at this point.

Last year, I used the phrase "you all are a bunch of idiots" in which the 2 TSA agents that were dealing with my screening immediately called over the LEO. This happened at the TSA checkpoint leading to the A concourse at DEN. You can find the thread in the archives of TS/S using the search feature.

I just go with the nonsensical response approach. One past exchange:

TSA: Where are you going today?
Me: If it's Tuesday, it must be Buffalo.
TSA: Umm, it's Thursday.
Me: Really? Huh. I guess NOT Buffalo, then. *haha*
TSA: *slightly confused laugh*

Another time, I just responded with, "Home, I wish." TSA responded, "Ain't it the truth!"

To which one could respond, "Well, why don't they make it easy for us to get on an airplane?"

Sounds like a good way to get high blood pressure to me!!!

Others have already made excellent suggestions on how to respond instead.

My legal opinion is that, in certain locales, it's enough to get you arrested on a variety of minor charges. The DA or judge is almost certainly going to toss it as soon as they see it, but getting arrested is still annoying and can affect some employment. Getting things expunged is very likely, but that still takes time and money.

Best to go with the alternate suggestions and try and watch your mouth. You can train yourself to not swear even when startled. Not a bad idea in any case.

Do not be affraid of their crap. How many times have I been told to put my watch, my wallet, my jewlery (in my pocket) through the Xray. My refusal gets a instant reaction, but then I tell them. I'm in no rush, and I'm all for security. They are welcome to call anyone they want, and check my valuables as long as they want, while they remain in my hands. But nothing will leave my possession. I tell them I have all day long if they want (not true, but sounds good).


Here's a tale of three attempts (of thousands) where I not so politely told them what I thought of their idiotic security measures.

1) Security is checking me and asked me to pull over for additional screening, even though I didn't beep. She called it "random" to which I exerted my doubts. Her buddy at the other table jumped in with his opinion on the matter. I told him to mind his own business. I was complying with the search, but insistent to be free from his interference.

Calling him an idiot didn't help. He threatened to call the police. I told him to go ahead, I'll just tell the cop what an idiot you are too! The "agent" suddenly had a change of mind and let me go.

2) Having a bad day, they took their sweet time on me... trying to push my buttons. They managed to get a "That's F*ed up" out of me, then immediately pounced on it. Supervisor held my boarding pass, walked me out of the secure area and tried repeatedly to make me read aloud to him the posted warning regarding behavior at the checkpoint, to which I flatly REFUSED. He then told me to bring a check-in agent to speak to him while he decided whether to let me fly. (After trying different checkpoints, to no avail) I got the UA checkin agent to leave her post and talk me through. My she was mighty pi$$ed of at him, not me. Of course, I caught my plane.

3) Lastly there was the questioning about liquids and stuff that I was trying to ignore just before putting my stuff through the metal detector. The "agent" took offence by my lack of friendliness and convinced a team member to send my bag to be resent through the detector... no big deal, right?

Refusing to take my eyes off of my bag forced me to take a step back. I guess the agent didn't notice that I could see. As my bag approached the Xray machine, it was picked up and moved back 3 or 4 spots on the belt, as it moved forward again, it was once again picked up and moved back 3 or 4 more spots, and again, and again, and again. What was I to do?

I did what I'd seen them do several times. I yelled "SUPERVISOR" at the top of my lungs. Until this point, only the few team members knew what was going on, but that was about to change. Her antics were nothing for me to fear. Yelling for a supervisor would frustrate the process, but not land me in trouble.

It took the super several minutes of explaining for him to see that it was I that was interfered with; that I needed his help to get out of the situation and prevent it from happening to other flyers. After the bag got through, and released, the two of us had quite the conversation about rogue security and the damage they are doing to the image of Airport Security. I insisted he follow up and insure that retalitory practices are not made habits.

Wasn't there a case where a person flipped off a LEO and got arrested. The court found in favor of the defendent because he was only using his right of speech/expression?

I wouldn't doubt it, even if I'm not familiar with that exact case. I was only pointing out that dealing with the arrest can still be a hassle. So, it's possible to still express your disapproval with various TSA security "actions" without getting arrested for foul language. Why give em any extra ammo? Especially if airport police are complicit (many airport police are viewed as not "real" officers by the regular police departments and hold a grudge just like TSA).

Not only that, but it was a kid in a school bus.

Quenya would be even better, since it is more obsolete than Sindarin. Or reply in Wookie.