Celery, for me, is like onion - something with a very pleasant flavor contribution, but (unless you cook the it very, very thoroughly in onion's case) a negative texture contribution. So when I cook with either, I leave it in pieces big enough to eat around, and those who enjoy the texture of either can still eat 'em. :)

Oh, and I'm all for no sugar or flavorings (except an actual slice of lemon) in my iced tea. If I wanted a sweet drink, I'd have a soda.

Must not look at the menu before being seated (except when choosing a restaurant online, at which point perusing the menu is a must).

1) Eggs shall be fried over hard, yolk broken. If it ain't cooked solid, it's going back for the cook to do right. Runny eggs returned will be splattered as a warning to the NEXT customer.

2) Bacon is not meant to be served limp as a dishrag. It should go crunch.

3) Porkfat RULES! If the traditional recipe calls for lard, be it in tamales or fry bread, don't accept the substitution of vegetable shortening.

4) Don't offer me tasteless crap under the guise that it's healthy/organic/natural//good-for-me. I'd rather shave years off my life than eat plastic.

5) Just say "no" to cold cereal, which is an historical plot by John Harvey Kellogg to neuter the American public...since he believed that hot cereals "inflamed the passions" and meat eating at breakfast was worse.

6) Good steak is meant to be served rare.....medium rare if you are a sissy afraid of blood. Any more cooking turns good meat to shoe leather. And only barbarians douse their steak with sauces. Grill it or broil it with salt and pepper and get it on the plate.

7) With crab and lobster, simplicity is best. Steam, boil, or broil it and serve it with a little drawn butter. Mayonnaise is an abomination better served with baloney sandwiches or french fries.

8) Speaking of French Fries: crisp on the outside, mealy on the inside. One may debate the proper shape/size and whether it is peeled or with the sking left on... But a limp fry isn't worth eating. Dipping one's fries in ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, or even blue cheese dressing are all valid options... but hot chocolate through the whipped cream is beyond the pale. (...sigh Mom, that's just weird...)

My relatively straightforward handful:

(One or two of these rules have close relatives that have surfaced elsewhere in this thread.)

1. No goat cheese. Ever. Period.

2. Mayonnaise = bad, almost without exception. Good homemade mayonnaise is fine. Limited quantities of mayonnaise in something such as chicken salad are tolerable. That's about it. And don't even think about (1) slathering mayo on my sandwich or (2) adding it to mashed avocados and salsa and trying to pass it off as "guacamole," because then we are going to fight. (Side mini-rant: few things bother me more than a deli that doesn't understand what "no mayo" means.)

3. Pineapple does not belong anywhere near pizza. If you take a pizza and put pineapple on it, you no longer have pizza. You have an abomination.

4. Legitimate varieties of bagels are limited to the following: plain, sesame, poppy, onion, everything, raisin, pumpernickel, egg and salt. Anything else is not a bagel. And cream cheese, which every bagel should have, must not be whipped until fluffy.

No asiago with jalapeño? :)

1. No avocado
2. No uni
3. Avoid overcooked roast beef
4. Never, ever eat Ethiopian. 10 days there was a great diet opporunity. Awful awful food.
5. McDonalds/Burgerking/FKC et al only in extremis
6. Tap water only in the UK
7. no egg sandwiches

Afraid not. :) Though I can deal with savory varieties of flavored cream cheese (e.g., veggie, jalapeno, salmon spread), as long as they are matched with an appropriate type of bagel.

The bagel shop closest to where I live now has the maddening habit of making exactly the same amount of every kind of bagel on their menu. And, of course, the traditional flavors I mentioned sell out very quickly and tend not to be replenished until much later, leaving only full trays of asiago, chocolate chip, pesto and spicy marinara bagels for folks who show up in the meantime. :mad:

And I thought I was extreme....

1. No processed products will enter my home.
2. Minimize products with artificial flavors.
3. Nothing with HFCS.
4. No fresh milk. I use dry milk for all-Natural (Shredded wheat) cereals.
5. Nothing breaded or that required frying
6. A microwave does not exist in my world.

I think the world would be a better place with sesame, poppy and cinnamon raisin only. :)

I will not eat Mayonaise under any circumstances or in any form. No ranch dressing, no aioli, no mayo of any kind. I get physically ill with even the thought of mayo.

I generally never eat fried seafood outside of South Louisiana. The one exception would be fried catfish and, then, only in some parts of the South.

Japan? Tempura is amazing.

If I were to go to Japan (never have been), I would certainly try it. However, so far, tempura (U.S.-Japanese) doesn't do much for me.

If you've ever had good South Louisiana fried seafood, then you might understand my taste preferences. :D

If you can't leave it in the simmering oven of an Aga overnight it will taste pallid.

^^^ It's not even allowed in my house.

I had a friend stay with me for a short period of time and this person actually likes the stuff. I gave him special dispensation to keep a small jar in the refrigerator, well hidden in the back, and he was required to eat it out of my view:p.