To each his own, but the service standard I was taught was to leave all the plates until the last person is finished to prevent that person from feeling rushed.

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cblaisd
Co-Moderator, Dining Buzz

I don't think this is a standard rule. I thought I posted it earlier, but just in case I didn't, I got lectured once by a waiter at a Denny's (lowest quality level diner-type restaurant in the U.S.) because when I was finished, I laid my cutlery parallel on my plate. He informed me self-importantly that the correct way to signal I was done was to CROSS the cutlery.

My husband also crosses his utensils to indicate he's done. I still don't, except on rare occasion.

Wow! How did you respond? I'd have been sorely tempted to explain in graphic terms how my "usable cutlery" would be used if he bothered me further. ;)

I was so taken aback that I just muttered something like 'yes it is all fine thank you'.

The idea that a snooty Denny's waiter exists makes me ROTFL. Talk about delusions of grandeur!

According to Miss Manners*, the proper response would have been, "You probably ought to stick to providing food, not etiquette advice, for the term of your employment here--unless, of course, you're interested in having someone kick your Moons Over My Hammy**."

* Popular U.S. advice columnist who addresses questions of etiquette
** Actual Denny's menu item (and terrible pun) involving eggs and ham
*** Given Denny's clientele--especially on third shift--this is a real possibility

I agree. Moreover I'm a fast eater, invariably I finish first, I don't want my dining companions to feel as though they need to hurry up.

Agree. Although sometimes, when you get that one person who takes one mouthful for every 5 minutes of talking for the sake of talking...

^^^
One of many reasons I despise eating out in large (over 4) groups.

I think there are many restaurants in the US where you would not be allowed to sit in the dining room and order only soup.

I have a friend who is a very slow eater. On a road trip many years ago he took the better part of an hour to eat a Quarter Pounder while he drove. He was/is almost OCD about chewing 12 times (I forget the exact number) on each side before swallowing to aid in digestion.

He sounds like the Geoffrey Boycott of eating ...

He should avoid eating with other people in restaurants to be polite.

OTOH, I know someone who is a very slow eater, has rather odd and picky eating choices, and drinks a lot with his food. Turns out he had throat cancer, is missing large chunks, and can taste very little. Finds it very hard to swallow, hence the copious liquid.

And, of course, people who talk non-stop while barely eating or playing with their food could well be anything from self-conscious about a diet to suffering from an eating disorder.

So it is, of course, quite right not to pressure people in such situations, as you never know the reasons why. Of course, some people do just like the sound of their own voices and have very little self-awareness.

I see both sides to the taking the plate away scenario. I hate dirty plates in front of me when I've finished eating, so I don't mind a waiter asking if it's ok to remove my plate (vs just taking it w/o asking) or, if the waiter is waiting for the entire table to finish before removing plates, I might motion the waiter over and say quietly, you can take my plate away. I've never noticed my breakfast, lunch or dinner companions feeling they needed to rush through their meal because my plate was taken away.

I do find it irritating when a waiter starts to take away a plate (w/o asking) when there's still food on it & you have to say excuse me, I'm still eating. Doesn't happen often, but quite annoying when it does.

Cheers. Sharon