Lectures from the waitstaff
 

Do others have good examples of waitstaff giving you a lecture or being arrogant?

I was just at a 2 star Michelin restaurant in London. Great food and great service, except:

the first incident was when a server came over mid-course and told me I was using the wrong piece of cutlery for the course I was on and suggested I should change. hmm - it was working OK for me!

then I spilled a tiny drop of sauce onto the tablecloth in front of my plate - maybe the size of a pencil eraser. A server came over with a napkin and made a huge show of placing it over the spot. No discretion, and I felt like I was put on display.

The napkin thing I might understand, as it could ostensibly be to protect your clothing from a stain. What the attitude was is a different question.

The utensil lecture shouldn't happen to anyone over the age of twelve. I'd have brought that up with the manager.

Lectures from the waitstaff
 

If I am paying to eat at your restaurant then leave me alone when you pay me to eat we will talk

I wouldn't have accepted that from the waiter. I know there are "proper" ways to use the number and one utensils but you just pay him to bring the food. NOT be lectured to.

I had a similar encounter with a Sunday sous chef at Park Hyatt Busan, where the fellow came out from the kitchen and told me that today's catch was today's catch, no substitutions and it's a prized Korean trout, blah blah (I dislike trout, A LOT). I just told him plainly that I wouldn't be paying if he didn't change it to something that I liked. We weren't told by his serving staff about what kind of fish was the catch of the day. In the end, he changed it.

Aventine, are you saying you ordered the catch o' the day without asking what it was, then demanded something else after it was served? If so, I'd say you were in the wrong.

Please clarify.

Mr. Fwoomp and I were snarled at by a Parisian waiter for having the audacity to order only soup, because "soup is not a meal!"

I knew you were generally expected to order two courses in Italy, but had never heard that about France (or been condemned for ordering only soup on previous visits).

Your example of spilling a tiny drop of sauce on the tablecloth reminds me of a scene involving a snooty waiter-- and an excellent comeback from a patron-- I learned from when I was a teenager. My parents and I were dining with a handful of highly educated gentlemen at a reception. One began to eat his soup while his napkin was still folded on the table. A waiter swooped over, grabbed the napkin with an exaggerated flourish, and whipped it open with a snap! to place it in the man's lap. The man made an equally exaggerated, whole-body flinch and in loud voice proclaimed, "Oh, dear, no! I never use napkins!" People stared at the waiter as if he'd just brandished a weapon and then snickered at the whole scene. The waiter left the napkin on the table, and the man quietly placed it on his own lap.

Lectures from the waitstaff
 

First time at a fancy restaurant in London I was asked if I'd like water. I said yes. Waiter stood there for 5 seconds staring at me then agitatedly asked "Well?! Sparkling or flat?!" He was quickly replaced by a nicer waitress so I think management noticed.

It was supposed to be fish but had I been told it was trout then I wouldn't have ordered it in the beginning. I know assumptions make me an *ss but the chef wasn't very tactful for a 5-star hotel staff member. There's better ways than coming out and confronting a valued guest of the hotel. I don't see a problem with asking for something I didn't like to be changed.

Lectures from the waitstaff
 

Curious to know which resto this is.

Usually soups are served as appetizers (entrée in French), not as main course (plat principal). So it's a bit like sharing a meal here, not the way things are traditionally done here. Unfortunately, there is many waiters that are grumpy and there's no excuse for them.

Trout is fish. It cost money to buy, and money to prepare, and then had to be thrown in the trash. That came out of the chef's budget.

Unless the trout was unwholesome or burnt or otherwise ruined in the cooking process, you should have paid for it, as well as anything else you ordered.

This doesn't fit with the OP's complaint about waitstaff being overbearing.

Cheers,

Doc

You should have asked what the "fish of the day" was, but I'm on the side of those who say "fish of the day is the 'fish of the day'" and therefore impossible to substitute. It is what it is. I'm sure there were other things on the menu you could have ordered instead.

agree attitude matters

sometimes management focuses on procedure/process not attitude
in other words - service becomes of secondary importance
which is a problem in service/hospitality industry

not sure if the utensil thing could be done well (or not)

A view from the other side of the napkin:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/23/op...ml?ref=opinion

What timing!

A member of our party was once told by a waiter at the Topnotch at Stowe (yeah, I know zero Michelin stars) that the soup du jour was in fact, "soup of the day." What a jerk.

Jim

And in reverse, I've heard patron ask "what's the soup du jour today."

Well, when you're in a fancy, 'gourmette' resto you don't want 'soup d'hier.'

The remark I overheard was delivered with a sneer. The question you relayed should be borne with grace and tact by long suffering wait staff.

Jim

eleven madison park, several years ago (right before nomad)
http://ny.eater.com/2015/8/24/919537...n-madison-park
http://observer.com/2015/08/dinner-a...-madison-park/

I guess the attitude of the waiter is poor but it is acceptable from other posters.

Did you crumble crackers in it? DID YOU CRUMBLE??!! If so, well it could be a meal.

Ha! No, it was onion, so the crumbs would have just sat atop the cheese in a sad little pile. However, considering it basically had a mini-sandwich in it (bread under a thick blanket of cheese), I would say it counted. :)

Also, it was lunch, FWIW. I wouldn't order soup for dinner.

When you order onion soup with bread and cheese on top in Paris, is calling it "French onion soup" redundant?

Funny you should ask--I originally wrote "French onion," then added, "but I guess it's just onion there," and then finally just deleted all of that.

But yes, it's just "onion soup" on the menu there.

I know I would really like to know which restaurant this was? I'm sure others here would be interested. If nothing else, we would know what we could be in for or we could choose to avoid it.

Server attitude (real attitude) happens all the time in China. Just explain your dissatisfaction to the management and watch the server get fired on the spot, if the situation warrants it.

So you didn't want it. Pay up and order something else. It's a pretty bizarre line of logic to assume because you didn't like what you were given the kitchen should take it back and make you something else. :rolleyes:

Lectures from the waitstaff
 

Definitely would be helpful to know which restaurant we're talking about. I was at Restaurant Gordon Ramsay recently and noticed something similar. Utterly overbearing waitstaff, taking intrusiveness to a new level

Sounds like they've learned from the boss.

I don't know why but service staff who work in establishments frequented by the more affluent clientelle think they are one of them

The meet and greet guy at 5 star london hotels. Doesn't matter what hotel you work at , your still the git who opens doors for people for a living !

a waitperson at a michellin star restaurant is still just a waitperson

not looking down on those professionals, but just stop acting that you are better than you are

Like others have said, I'd like to know what restaurant this was -- not so that I would avoid the place myself next time, but perhaps it gives context into why the waiter behaved the way they did.

I've been to restaurants where every detail of the meal was meticulously planned, including the right types of flat and silverware. I've also been to Texas barbecue where only knife is provided, no fork, and they proudly say so on the blackboard. I guess both instances can be interpreted as "snooty" in their own right. Or, there are more reasons behind them such that, whether you agree with them or not, that's the way they want their food to be eaten.

Could the waiter be actually providing "service"? A stained tablecloth might be interpreted as a distraction from the food, and the waiter might be reprimanded if they overlooked it. Some diners do complain about inattentive waitstaff for a matter like this. I personally don't like excessive "service" like that, but some chefs demand it from their waitstaff.

Again, I'm inclined to believe that there is more context behind your observations, but still, sorry to hear that your experience was made unpleasant by them.

A humorous bit on soup du jour from the movie, Dumb and Dumber

"Gee Wally, do you think I'm gonna get yelled at by a grownup?

"I don't Beav, sometimes Grownups do goofy things".

I can think of one meal at Dabbous where a course was brought out without a knife and I used my butter knife. The waiter noticed, came over and said something to the effect that the chef doesn't want you to cut it, he wants you to eat it as is.

Only once. At a mid-range Italian restaurant in the business district of Toronto while having lunch with co-workers I had a waiter criticize me when I asked for parmesan cheese on a seafood pasta dish. "Cheese is NOT put on seafood" as he turned and walked away.

I excused myself from the table, had a very blunt conversation with the manager about being embarrassed in front of colleagues by his server.

A few minutes later the same waiter came out looking very chastened, apologized profusely and completed the order as requested. :)

I hardly think so. Don't want the soup if it's made with Greek onions.

I wouldn't be too impressed if that happened to me while I was dining. I'm a manager at a restaurant and if I ever saw one of my staff doing/saying that to a customer I'd have a quiet word with them saying that it doesn't matter what cutlery someone uses - the easiest way to deal with that situation would to just let the diner use whatever cutlery they fancy and once that course is cleared to just replace the cutlery setting as need be. Luckily I've not had to talk to a member of my staff about that as they are all on the ball with that and are attentive so they can rectify any cutlery situation between courses. :)

isnt it better to complain AFTER the food/drink has been brought? :D

I can only recall 4 occasions in my long life and extensive travels that I felt that a waiter was both qualified to advise me and his counsel welcomed.....

1. Nice, 1963 - Advisory commentary on European rabbit/hare (Whilst in my youth out here in flyover country, I had dined on Peter Cottontail and tried jackrabbit, only to find it less than appealing, I knew nothing of those wily Uropeens and their ways with rabbit).

2. Livorno, 1965 - Not really a waiter, more a street vendor, able to convince me (with my halting Italian and his lack of English) that "triglie", the humble red mullet, could be a great entree, not prepared in the classic "Livornese" method, but simply bathed in a little olive oil, S & P, then grilled over an open fire of grapevine, served with lemon, bread and local white wine.

3. Arras, 1982 - Traveling with our young daughters (14 & 9) by car in a big loop around Western Europe, the dining room of an old hotel, a grand old waiter, spent time and effort convincing my daughters (French-less) on the virtues of the price fixe menu and the additions he would make to it. So "un-French" as to amaze me. Dessert wasa choice of a chocolate mousse or fresh strawberries. Our daughters wanted both, together. With much attention from the chef at the doors to the kitchen, they got'em.

4. Galatoire's, NOLA, continuing 1955 or so until the mid 90s. Introduced by my grandfather, a picky eater admiring only the simplest of Gulf seafood preparation, a waiter who became my dining adviser for many visits over the next 40 years, until his retirement. It was from him that I learned the concept of arriving at 2PM for "lunch", always ordering only 1 dish at a time, even better when with a fellow diner, never hurry, and that a good waiter understands the preparation of everything on the menu (and is prepared to recommend or reject, based on his evaluation of your likes, dislikes, and habits).

There may be others out there whom I haven't met, but I've sure been displeased with some I have...

That reminds me of my one and only trip to Galatoire's, probably 2002 or so, with a local and a regular at the restaurant. Never saw a menu, the entire meal was conversations with the waiter about best dishes, best approaches, and essentially "what was good that night"? All the food was sublime.

Ah so you're saying that French modifies onion not soup....a quick google search didn't reveal an easy answer on that one. Also not sure how firmly your tongue was planted in cheek.