Lectures from the waitstaff
Nov 9, 2015, 9:01 am
#61
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Interesting how different people in different places interpret things. I (and I suspect most people this side of the pond) would find a waiter clearing plates away whilst someone at the table is still eating to be incredibly rude. Indeed, as a relatively slow eater, I still can't get used to this practice when I visit the USA - it puts so much pressure on you to eat up and get out (that and bringing the bill unbidden, often without even asking about dessert or coffee).
I can't ever recall wait-staff attempting to remove plates from my fellow diners whilst others were still eating and if they did I'd politely ask them to stay away until we're ready.
Good wait-staff will know instinctively when it's the right moment and in any case most always ask if everyone has finished before doing so.
Nov 9, 2015, 9:31 am
#62
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If I'm continuing to eat dinner, I'm at a loss to understand how the waiter removing my wife's empty, dirty dishes qualifies as "rude." I want dirty dishes somewhere else than on my table.
Do you insist that the waiter leave the empty salad plate on the table when he brings the main course? (Assuming, of course, that the salad precedes that main course.)
Do you insist that the waiter leave the empty salad plate on the table when he brings the main course? (Assuming, of course, that the salad precedes that main course.)
Nov 9, 2015, 9:33 am
#63
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Hate the game, not the player.
Nov 9, 2015, 2:07 pm
#64
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I recall one of my favorite restaurants was on the East side of Lafayette, LA, just off IH10. Modest menu, but "specialties of the house" included boiled shrimp and steamed crab sold by the pound both of which arrived in galvanized buckets. Tables, covered in newspaper, had large holes in the middle, below which sat a garbage can for shells. It was the first place I remember providing a roll of paper towels for napkins, and entrees, etc., other than shrimp and crab were served on paper plates, also consigned to the "central disposal facility". Wise patrons brought their own cracking devices, since the joint provided only hammers.
Nov 9, 2015, 2:52 pm
#65
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Removing others' dishes before everyone has finished is, in my book, one of the rudest things a server can do and immediately means a halving of the tip. However, I do recognise that in the USA they seem to be trained to do it - so I only halve the tip if they continue to do it after I've told them not to.
Of course, real etiquette is for the faster eater to slow down so as not to pile pressure on the slower eater....
Of course, real etiquette is for the faster eater to slow down so as not to pile pressure on the slower eater....
I think quite the rudest waiter I have ever had was in the US when I ordered an asparagus starter. I ate the asparagus with my fingers. He came over, mid bite, and demanded to know if I had "unusable cutlery" very loudly in front of a busy restaurant.
Nov 9, 2015, 8:59 pm
#66
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Nov 9, 2015, 9:27 pm
#67
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As long as it's preceded by "Can I get some of these dishes out of your way?", I am normally very pleased. No doubt partly because I'm American, but I lean toward the practical over the traditional. I don't want to look at dirty dishes/excess clutter on the table.
Nov 9, 2015, 9:42 pm
#68
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it makes me feel rushed, it might be ok in a culture where people like to eat early and race home to watch television, but when I eat out I like to take my time and make my meal the focus of the evening. Having waiters fussing around while people are still eating is rude and intrusive.
Nov 10, 2015, 8:14 am
#69
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One may prefer that waitstaff wait until everyone at the table is finished with all their food before they remove empty (dirty) tableware, and that preference is fine. But someone behaving counter to one's preference does not constitute rudeness.
Nov 10, 2015, 8:20 am
#70
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Obviously, I'm with you.
One may prefer that waitstaff wait until everyone at the table is finished with all their food before they remove empty (dirty) tableware, and that preference is fine. But someone behaving counter to one's preference does not constitute rudeness.
One may prefer that waitstaff wait until everyone at the table is finished with all their food before they remove empty (dirty) tableware, and that preference is fine. But someone behaving counter to one's preference does not constitute rudeness.
In Europe it is downright rude, not a preference, to remove the plates before everyone is finished.
One thing I absolutely cannot abide either side of the Atlantic is people putting their cloth napkins on top of an empty plate.
Nov 10, 2015, 9:56 am
#71
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What I find truly rude is when a waiter attempts to clear a plate or plates without asking if one is finished eating, even if food is still on the plate. It's become way too frequent. I'm by no means a slow eater, but I like to occasionally put down my cutlery and enjoy my wine for a few sips. Or maybe I'm in conversation with my dining companions.
In any case, I don't know why staff isn't trained to know the standard "cutlery crossed" means don't take, while parallel cutlery means, please take this plate.
Nov 10, 2015, 11:29 am
#72
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Nov 10, 2015, 11:38 am
#73
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My Dad is a slow eater and gets very annoyed by waitstaff who attempt to clear other people's plates before everyone is finished. When I eat out with him this means that I have to carefully pace myself to match him or else I wind up pushing the last few morsels around my plate for 10 minutes while taking increasingly tiny bites and drinking a lot of additional water. 
Nov 10, 2015, 12:14 pm
#74
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Now, if I ask for advice or a recommendation or how best to eat something (i.e., if I have never eaten blue crabs before and am doing it wrong), I'm open to constructive, tactful criticism.
Nov 10, 2015, 12:23 pm
#75
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Not to mention the person having to fish out your napkin from the plates, the fact it makes it harder for them to take plates to the kitchen as they cannot place another plate on top, the fact many do it after the main course, leaving them napkinless for any remaining courses, and having to see other people's napkins dumped on their plates is unsightly.
It really is very déclassé!