deleted

Any more than that and I feel as though the waiter - err, sorry, "server" - is nagging me, and I think that most people would feel the same way. I only feel differently at yum cha (dim sum) where part of the experience of the meal is to feel that the whole thing is a bit chaotic.

I don't think you need to say "ideally" you would never leave only one person with an entree plate, that should never happen. You're in control of the plates; they don't take themselves to the kitchen.

I appreciate the efficiency argument, and Americans tend to be used to having things taken away quickly, but the reason you shouldn't take away dinner plates until everyone is done eating is for the comfort of the diners, especially the last diner to finish.

People eat at different speeds for various reasons. When you're the only one eating and the server has taken every other item off the table, down to the salt and pepper shakers, and you're still sitting there eating it makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable, and suggests that you need to rush to finish up quickly. That's not a nice note to end a meal on.

Particularly when I'm dining with only one other person, even if my plate is completely empty I'll say "no" if they ask if I'm finished with it if the other person is still eating. It would be better if the didn't even attempt to take it away in the first place.

That is the most epically awesome DYKWIA story I think I've seen on FT. :D

Back to the OP. How can you end tipping?
Either don't dine out at restaurants that expect tips, OR don't tip. There is no law that says you must tip, and unless they include it automatically on your bill, the choice is yours.
Just know that stiffing a server really stands out, and if you intend to dine at the establishment again, and if they remember you, it may be a less than pleasant experience. Visine in your food not withstanding. :eek:

And there I think that we come to the heart of the matter.

You are thinking in terms of efficiency, just as many people in North America say that they want to get 'in and out' and get upset in parts of the rest of the world if the server doesn't bring them the bill automatically.

For many people, going out to eat a meal isn't about efficiency. It is about the experience, and rushing the customer or making them feel that they need to hurry isn't a positive experience. (Unless of course it is 'fast' food)

It is a pet peeve of mine when the server comes and clears items or plates one by one, or a few at a time, rather than clearing the table at the end of the main course. And as already stated, it makes the last diner(s) with a plate in front of them feel that they must rush, and be uncomfortable.

I actually consider this method poor service, even knowing that it is an American habit. Usually I can make allowances for differences in how things are done, but why should the customer be made to feel rushed so that you can be more efficient?

But then again, if the server isn't making a salary (or a few dollars an hour) then they are more focussed on turning tables than on service, and again, it is the tipping culture which creates that scenario.

Question: do you as a server use the cutlery as an indicator of whether the customer is finished? ie crossed cutlery indicates 'still working on it' while cutlery laid at an angle side by side indicates 'I am finished'.

Given that most Americans don't know this rule (I certainly didn't growing up, and I don't by habit follow it now), I highly doubt it.

And FWIW, I've never paid attention to when the server clears the plates off of the table, and I certainly don't find it rude when they remove a dishes from the table. So it's not that Americans put up with this kind of "horrific" behavior--it's that it never crosses our minds that it should be any other way.

Actually, I take that back--just last week I was out to lunch with my aunt and cousin, both of whom have worked as servers. We had a particularly new waiter, and when my aunt and cousin were finished eating but I was still working on my meal, they were left with their plates in front of them. The server actually came by twice to check on us but left the dirty dishes on the table. Both my aunt and cousin remarked that he should have taken their dishes away. So I suppose I have paid attention to this, but it was in exactly the opposite way you describe!

It's kind of like fork-and-knife etiquette: keeping your left hand on your lap is taboo in Europe, but in America, there's no such cultural prohibition, so it never even crosses our minds that it could be rude. (In fact, it looks slightly rude--possibly even uncivilized--to us for someone to keep both hands on the table unless one is actively using the knife to cut the food.)

In Europe, both of your hands are holding cutlery, and specifically, your left hand is the one holding the fork, so it seems natural that they are both above the table.

Brits don't tip because servers make minimum wage. I learned something new today.. Seriously, no tips?

Amen.

And on top of your bill, there is 13% tax - so really - you end up paying 25-30% premium on your bill.

Anyone ever tells me service is not included - they are getting zero tip.

Unlike some, I have no problems leaving zero tip, and at most rounding up to the nearest dollar.

It used to be "tip the tax" - but when tax went down from 15% to 13%, it somehow went up to - tip 20%.... 20%... I dont think so.

We had a group go out and got smacked with an 18% mandatory service charge - we counted out pennies for exact change on the bill. If they didnt have the charge, the tip would ve been likely larger.

In terms of calculations of tips, usually I take the tax off and look at the base total.. I also subtract take out from the bill and tip on the subtotal. I tip usually around 15% to 18%, sometimes higher depending if I received good value for the service and how I feel at the end of the meal.

Did you look at the thread I linked? We've been discussing for the last few pages the fact that tipping in restaurants is relatively unique to North America, while tipping in restaurants in the rest of the world tends to be a minimal amount, or not at all (and again, can be considered an insult in some parts of the world)

The perception of what constitutes 'good service' also varies, as we have been discussing.

I just saw your link on the other thread.. so no, I haven't read it yet, but will give it a read.

Tipping in Canada then is unique.. even though workers do receive minimum wage, tipping is accustomed to 15% to 20% on top of that.

No, I meant the link I posted on THIS thread (where we are currently discussing the fact that tipping is not the same around the world, nor is service)

Here it is again although again my warning that the amounts which Sharon originally posted are seen as OVERstated by many of us whether in regards to restaurant, taxi, or tipping for other services.

Ok, I got mixed up as we're switching threads back and forth.. like you're following me around or something.