Robert Leach

To the OP: If you value your time at all, you would have walked away like you did. It simply is not worth spending the time filing the report and then perhaps even having to show up in court later to testify against the guy, who in the end would have gotten some sort of slap on the wrist.

mooper

I agree. Once the OP was physically slapped, it would have been highly effective and appropriate to grab the man's arm and apply torque in self defense. If his arm broke - that's too bad for him.

Whether or not physical self-defense was employed, and even though it is perfectly understandable that the OP wanted to spend time with his family more than he wanted to spend time with authorities dealing with this situation, I think he should have considered that any time he lost would be an act of generosity that would likely save many other people a lot more time and frustration than he would experience, by means correcting this guy's behavior for the remainder of his flying career.

EuropeFlyer_ATL

+1

To the OP: You did the right thing by letting it go. As a former ADA, I can tell you that this would have only caused you much more of a headache than it was worth.
However, I would recommend filing an official complaint about the PAX with Delta and ask them to do an investigation, so that he may one day end up on a No Fly list, should this happen again.

By the way: Congrats for your new baby son! ^^

amlothi

OP, as with most conflicts, it appears to me that you let things go on too long after the initial inability to recline, and that led to the situation escalating.

When that person behind you prevented you from reclining initially, I wonder what would have happened if you have politely called the flight attendant and mentioned that you think there is a problem with your seat because you can't seem to get it to recline. If you have a clueful FA, at that point the situation probably would have been resolved without any physical interaction between you and the passenger behind you.

By ignoring it at the beginning, you increase your own frustration with the situation, and send a signal to that person behind you that they can continue to resist.

StayingHomeIsBetter

From the original post "Then he leaned over my right shoulder and tried to press the wrong seat button. Realizing his mistake, he leaned over my left shoulder and started slapping aggressively at my left arm, which was blocking his access to the button. He continued to scream, demanding that I get my seatback out of his space, then called me an a$&hole."

ente_09

I think you played this perfectly. Don't use the "road rage" model of increasing emotions leading to increasingly crazy behavior. This guy obviously has some major problems.

Was once on an international flight, the guy next to me, clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed, started making a big , loud stink over nothing. He then tried to use this with the FA's for a free, upgrade, in a blackmail type move.

idayvuelta

You're confusing assault with battery. If I point a gun at you I've likely assaulted you, whether the gun was loaded, unloaded, real or fake (assuming you were reasonably fearful of the outcome). Battery generally requires a physical touching.

MrAndy1369

I agree with you on all points except the fact that he should be put on the No-Fly list. The No-Fly list shouldn't be abused for stuff like this - just for people who are true threats to flying. Think about it - somebody has a bad day, bam! S/he is on the No-Fly list. This is a slippery slope, and if DL does this, before we know it, complainers could be placed on the No-Fly list... eventually, anyone who dares speak up against a FA could be listed too. It sounds extreme, I know, but the No-Fly list should only be used for serious, threatening purposes. It's, IMHO, un-American to list someone in the first place.

tarmac

If I had been in this situation, I would have:

1. Rang for a flight attendant as soon as I recognized this was a problem. I would have explained it briefly to him/her and asked for help in resolving it.

2. If other seats were available, I would have asked to be reseated.

3. If neither of these worked, I would have decided to become engaged in the situation or try to avoid it.

a. Avoid it: Go to the back of the flight. Order a coke. Stand around and chat with with flight attendants or people waiting for the bathroom. Stretch. Relax. Then go back and keep the seat upright and think about how lucky I was to have a wife and healthy child waiting for me.

b. Become engaged. I'd ask the flight attendants assistance again to resolve it, ask her to get the passenger's name. Tell her you would like her assistance in documenting what was happening. Speak firmly, calmly, assertively.

Overall: In the course of life, a short flight isn't all that important. To the degree that you engage, you give the person annoying you power and control.

pawtim

OP -- I think I would have done exactly what you did, including not pressing charges and then regretting it.

Also, I want to say I liked the fact that your post included a one sentence summary right at the top; we didn't have to wonder where this tale was going.

fmsm

To the OP: You sir are a gentleman! I wish I can say for sure I would have been such a gentleman myself.

That being said, we all have the obligation to respect our fellow passengers and deserve the same in return. I myself would have at the very least written a letter to Delta complaining about this passenger and commending the Flight Attendent.

raehl311

I am not generally one to take other people's crap. But, on an airplane, I would accept pretty much anything short of significant risk of immediate physical harm to myself or others before engaging in any physical confrontation with another PAX. Airplanes are 'special spaces' where misbehavior of any sort can quickly escalate to a felony charge, tens of thousands in legal expenses, and plenty of lost time.

Far better to take the lumps for a bit and be clearly in the right when you land on the ground (that guy slapped me, not I broke that guy's nose because he slapped me.)



To the OP, honestly, what I would have done would have depended on the day. People like the guy you describe go through life relying on most people's fear of confrontation to get what they want. I don't have a fear of confrontation, so I'm perfectly willing to confront problem people.

But, there is always collateral damage, and sometimes the collateral damage isn't worth it. Setting aside that you yourself may not have time to deal with it, having the guy arrested at arrival would also delay everyone else's disembarking, possibly tie up those seated near you while THEY answer questions about the situation, and possibly tie up the crew as well.


All that said, assault is assault, and the statue of limitations on assault is a couple years in most jurisdictions, so there's no requirement that the guy be arrested upon arrival and not, for example, a week later.

So you're not past the point of no return here. You can still go to the police and file a report and they may track the guy down for you, and you can still contact a lawyer who can file a civil suit and similarly figure out who the guy is.

If you are going to explore either of those routes, you should probably not continue to post about the situation until it is resolved to your satisfaction.



Now, all that advice does come with a caveat: You did escalate the situation, albeit in a passive-aggressive manner, when you made a point of reclining the seat at the moment the guy behind you got up, so you're not ENTIRELY not to blame here. Previous posts suggesting that you should have started with the FA are correct - that would have been a much wiser course of action than, after the guy says he doesn't want you to recline, reclining anyway when he stands up. That certainly doesn't make it OK for the other guy to respond as he did, but you have to admit you were being a bit confrontational yourself.

raehl311

I'm not sure he meant *THE* no-fly list, but perhaps the airline's no-fly list, which is exactly the sort of list a common carrier should maintain of problem passengers.

Clay_C.

This was exactly my feeling in reading this story.

I would also like to commend the OP for being an obvious cool customer.

nperdue

Hopefully the FA reported this to the captain. My concern if this had happened to me, was that this guy was volitile, and judging by his behavior; could totally go 'off' and cause more disturbance during the flight; almost sounds like this guy was not stable and 99% of us would never behave this way. In other words, I think this guy was a 'high risk' individual, if not downright dangerous.