jay_dubya

When you're only doing it on principle, yes.

Carl Johnson

If I ever were going to try to change seats I would be guided by the same philosophy you are setting out here, but if somebody poached my seat and their seat was of equal quality and nearby, I would probably not be bothered and would agree, or if they had a seat I liked better (for example, if I were forced into a window and they wanted it rather than the aisle) I would give it to them.

Other people whose seats are asked for or poached should deal with it as they think best, but I (and I figure many of us) might tolerate a presumptuously presented trade for an equal seat but would not dream of doing something like that ourselves. I have had people volunteer swaps once they saw that I might want to swap. My wife and I got upgraded on a trip to Las Vegas one time and they had only one meal for the two of us so I told the FA to split the sandwich and give half to my wife, and the person next to me volunteered to trade with her.

Another time, I had the aisle and mbwmbw had the window and we each preferred the other's seat so we traded, and then when the meal came, my tray table was broken, so he insisted on trading back.

I poached somebody's seat one time because of stupidity; I had 3D and took 2D, the guy whose seat it was said that it was his seat; I started to move, cursing myself for my stupidity and he told me, sit there, sit there and took 3D (no doubt because it was an equal seat and he recognized that I wasn't a selfish idiot, just an inattentive idiot).

PTravel

Sorry, but I disagree. Wait for the boarding crush to abate and THEN ask for the swap. When you take a seat that doesn't belong to you, you are likely taking the seat of someone who specifically selected it. It's fine to ask the favor. Just remember that you are asking a favor and have no right to impose unless and until it's granted. My experience is that, when someone poaches my seat, I'm going to have to, at minimum, be assertive to get it back. I don't want hassles when I board. I just want to sit down, break out the Bose and listen to music.

I don't get your point. The only excuse is two boarding passes for the same seat, which does happen on occasion. That's why, when I find someone in my seat, I start politely.

So what? How is that my problem? Why should I take a seat I don't want? Their problem is with the airline, not with other passengers. They can take it up with the GA.

Wow. Most of us don't steal, don't demand entitlements, and don't insist that our needs trump others. Unfortunately, some do. Why in the world would you humor someone who thinks they're the exception to civility and good manners?

Some people take the wrong seat by mistake. Some people get issued a duplicate boarding pass. That's why I always start polite. However, put up the least bit of resistance, engage in the least bit of drama, start whining about how unfair it is, etc., and you've forfeited any right to courtesy and consideration.

jordyn

You're not really being internally consistent here. If you'd rather sit down, break out the Bose and listen to music, then isn't it much better to have a discussion about swapping seats before you sit down than after boarding is complete and you're already settled in?

PTravel

Ah, now you're getting my point. The likelihood of my switching is very, very, very low. I'll switch in a true emergency (what I consider an emergency) or for a much better seat, e.g. Y to F, in which case it wouldn't bother me to be disturbed. Otherwise, "not my problem, park and lock it." I have no interest in having a discussion about swapping seats (or most anything else).

jordyn

If that's your point of view, no need to pretend it changes the decision-making process if people take your seat in advance versus approaching you after boarding. That's just a pretext to make you feel slightly better about being a jerk.

MSPeconomist

It's not being a jerk to want to retain/use/enjoy your own property. No one is obligated to switch seats when another passenger asks, regardless of how the request is made.

hurnik

Agreed.

Although (and I'm not saying you said this), I think that if one is politely asked, a polite "no, thank you", is fine. I think the whole Golden Rule/two-way street applies, but some people (either the ask-er or the ask-ee) sometimes get bent out of shape and then maybe say things, or say things in a way, that make the situation worse.

Not that I've ever had anyone be rude about it (I've only asked for a swap once and it actually worked out for both parties--albeit on AA).

But everyone is different. Some people would politely (or rudely) ask, and some people would rudely respond. And then some people would continue to make the situation worse and make some smart retort and it goes downhill from there.

I think people forget that a little courtesy goes a long way (just be nice about it, even if you don't get what you want). Hopefully if i ever have to ask for a seat swap again (we may well have to on our AA flight coming in Feb--long story), I'll remember to be polite about asking and hopefully whomever I ask will at least be polite (even if it's a "no thank you").

Cheers!

jamesteroh

I had a nice seat swap a couple days ago on a flight. Upgrade didn't clear and I was in the second row of C+ and the first row in C+ didn't have the bulkhead wall.

I boarded with prem and took my C+ seat and the couple that had the aisle and middle front row C+ in the row across from mine boarded with a dog in a carrier and the FA informed them they couldn't sit in a bulkhead with a pet.

I love that seat when I'm not upgraded and told the FA I'd love to switch my aisle for their aisle and the wife thanked me and took my seat and the FA asked the husband to sit in the middle seat next to me until the passenger seated next to his wife boarded and ask them switch. It ended up being a couple sitting in the middle and window seat so he just stayed in his middle seat. They must not fly much because he commented that he was glad they only bought C+ instead of F because there was more leg room than F and that was all he was worried about.

Weird thing was that seat wasn't available to chose when I booked the ticket so either they already selected or it was held back for the GA in case of someone with a disability. Either way, how did a seat get assigned with someone with a pet? If they selected it on line and called to add the dog the agent should have caught that and if it was assigned at the gate or when they checked in at the counter with the dog the agent shouldn't have assigned a bulkhead with a dog.

It was good to see the FA tell the husband to take his assigned seat until the person sitting next to his wife boarded instead of him just poaching or taking up room in the aisle during boarding waiting.

MSPeconomist

As a DM, I've managed to call and be assigned one of the special needs seats when no other seats are available to select.

IIRC they're released at OLCI for anyone to pick.

GatorBlues

You have blurred the difference between what someone is obligated to do with what the majority of people would think is something someone should do. You aren't "obligated" to hold a door for a frail elderly person you see entering a building immediately after you. But let go of the door and there will be a nearly unanimous opinion that you acted like a jerk, regardless of your "obligation." Perception of the majority is reality when it comes to social mores/cultural norms.

You are correct that no one is obligated to swap seats unless a FA directs them to do so. So a flyer is free to refuse for no other reason than that person simply never trades his or her "own property." However, others will form an opinion about whether this approach amounts to acting like a jerk. You may not agree with their opinion, or you may not care what they think, but if a large majority holds the opinion that this approach is rude, then it is.

Proudelitist

Keeping what is yours does not make you a jerk, especially from someone who attempted to take it before you got there.

When you pre-emptively take a seat (flimsy excuses about slowing the boarding process aside) that does not belong to you, you place the rightful owner of that seat in a more awkward position, essentially forcing a confrontation. Ask them after they have sat down if you must have it, but staking out territory already by sitting in it before they get there is clearly aggressive. Like finding someone in your house who says they thought it would be more efficient to enter before ringing the doorbell.

Proudelitist

This doesn't matter on the plane. You will never see those people again, and if they have a real moral issue with it, they can give up their OWN seats.

Fear of seeming like a jerk to complete strangers is what poachers take advantage of to get people lie down and take it. People willingly become doormats to unreasonable swap requests and poaches because they feel the eyes of everyone else on them. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what they think, and it doesn't matter if you are thought of as a jerk.

kmersh

Recently, I boarded and found a child with Downs Syndrome in my seat and his Mother in the window.

She said that she was originally sitting with her son together but due an aircraft change they lost their seats and nobody at UNITED was willing to help her.

She apologized multiple times and said she really did not know what to do, as it was an aisle for an aisle, I didn't care, but could I say NO and force the kid to move (I wouldn't but it seems to me I couldn't)?

Isn't that a situation for the airline to ensure a child with special needs is seated correctly?

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pvn

I have always found it weird that airlines don't have a problem moving everyone in the cabin around when there's a swap (even if the cabin seating is exactly the same) but after that, they act like their hands are tied and there's absolutely nothing they can do.