The Gate Lice are coming... the GATE LICE are coming
Mar 13, 2010, 2:47 pm
#226
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Somewhere
Programs: Delta Plat
Posts: 3,363
Yesterday on Delta 1808 there was a family hoging the breezeway line.
First the husband asked to upgrde, she told him he couldn't as their fairs were not the upgradeble.
So he, his wife and two little kids stood in the breezeway line.
When they called Zone one and tried to board. They looked at his boarding pass and said. Sir you are in Zone 4 we are just boarding Zone 1. He turns around looks at me and says they aren't boarding us yet gotta wait for the rich people to board.
I told him I was rich and handed the GA my boarding pass and went onto the plane.
First the husband asked to upgrde, she told him he couldn't as their fairs were not the upgradeble.
So he, his wife and two little kids stood in the breezeway line.
When they called Zone one and tried to board. They looked at his boarding pass and said. Sir you are in Zone 4 we are just boarding Zone 1. He turns around looks at me and says they aren't boarding us yet gotta wait for the rich people to board.
I told him I was rich and handed the GA my boarding pass and went onto the plane.
Mar 13, 2010, 2:51 pm
#227
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: SoCal (ONT), PVD/BOS, JAX, RSW
Programs: AA/US PlatPro & 1.05MM, DL Plat (challenge), UA dirt
Posts: 3,189
Yesterday on Delta 1808 there was a family hoging the breezeway line.
First the husband asked to upgrde, she told him he couldn't as their fairs were not the upgradeble.
So he, his wife and two little kids stood in the breezeway line.
When they called Zone one and tried to board. They looked at his boarding pass and said. Sir you are in Zone 4 we are just boarding Zone 1. He turns around looks at me and says they aren't boarding us yet gotta wait for the rich people to board.
I told him I was rich and handed the GA my boarding pass and went onto the plane.
First the husband asked to upgrde, she told him he couldn't as their fairs were not the upgradeble.
So he, his wife and two little kids stood in the breezeway line.
When they called Zone one and tried to board. They looked at his boarding pass and said. Sir you are in Zone 4 we are just boarding Zone 1. He turns around looks at me and says they aren't boarding us yet gotta wait for the rich people to board.
I told him I was rich and handed the GA my boarding pass and went onto the plane.
Mar 13, 2010, 5:09 pm
#228
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: BDU
Programs: DL:MM, Marriott:LTT
Posts: 8,779
Here's the solution 
-
DL should get some of those pop-up tunnels, like kids have, but larger. Right before the flight starts, they can pop the tunnel up, with one end at the scanner and the other end somewhere in the gate area. Delta Royalty will be allowed to enter the plane through the Royal Tunnel Entrance. (Can you hear the horns chiming "Da-dadada" as they walk?
) This will allow the Royalty to avoid contact with the cake-eating "gate lice" who should probably be asked to bow to those walking through the tunnel.
Once the Royalty has safely made it to the Jetway, the tunnel would be collapsed and stored, and the "gate lice" that has been waiting can board without losing their status as "first" or having to worry about their being no OH space. (Because we all know that the OH space can run out before Zone 3 boards. )
If the tunnel idea seems unworkable, perhaps DL could hire four burly men to carry a Litter. (Like Cleopatra rode.) Those who feel the need to make the "gate lice" know who's important could meet in the middle of the hallway, board the Litter and be carried to the scanner.
Seriously, I don't understand why people need to crowd around the scanner fifteen minutes before the flight, and I don't like having to navigate through them as I try to board with Zone 1 so that I can get my bag into the OH and so that I don't have to stand in the long line later, but the tone that a few people have (only a few) in this thread is more about making sure everyone in the gate area knows how imporant you are rather than issues about easily boarding the plane.
Oh, wait, better idea...replace the carpet on the Breezeway with grates. Right before Zone 1 is called, turn on fire hoses and wash the "gate lice" away.
-DL should get some of those pop-up tunnels, like kids have, but larger. Right before the flight starts, they can pop the tunnel up, with one end at the scanner and the other end somewhere in the gate area. Delta Royalty will be allowed to enter the plane through the Royal Tunnel Entrance. (Can you hear the horns chiming "Da-dadada" as they walk?
) This will allow the Royalty to avoid contact with the cake-eating "gate lice" who should probably be asked to bow to those walking through the tunnel.Once the Royalty has safely made it to the Jetway, the tunnel would be collapsed and stored, and the "gate lice" that has been waiting can board without losing their status as "first" or having to worry about their being no OH space. (Because we all know that the OH space can run out before Zone 3 boards.
)If the tunnel idea seems unworkable, perhaps DL could hire four burly men to carry a Litter. (Like Cleopatra rode.)
Those who feel the need to make the "gate lice" know who's important could meet in the middle of the hallway, board the Litter and be carried to the scanner. Seriously, I don't understand why people need to crowd around the scanner fifteen minutes before the flight, and I don't like having to navigate through them as I try to board with Zone 1 so that I can get my bag into the OH and so that I don't have to stand in the long line later, but the tone that a few people have (only a few) in this thread is more about making sure everyone in the gate area knows how imporant you are rather than issues about easily boarding the plane.
Oh, wait, better idea...replace the carpet on the Breezeway with grates. Right before Zone 1 is called, turn on fire hoses and wash the "gate lice" away.
Last edited by CJKatl; Mar 13, 2010 at 5:17 pm
Mar 13, 2010, 5:31 pm
#229
Join Date: Oct 2009
Programs: DL NWA UA
Posts: 177
As I read these posts, I wonder if the 'gate lice' phenom happens more at airports where it just seems like the number of seats at the gate is fewer than the number of seats on the plane.
I don't feel too rushed/packed at DTW but I always feel packed at ATL (which I hate btw just for that reason).
Some airports just seem more open and spacious and you don't get that crowding effect.
I don't feel too rushed/packed at DTW but I always feel packed at ATL (which I hate btw just for that reason).
Some airports just seem more open and spacious and you don't get that crowding effect.
Mar 13, 2010, 6:17 pm
#230
Original Poster
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Hopefully on a plane...
Posts: 6,580
Pepe... you misunderstand. Threads like this provide a service.
It gives those whose ego needs a boost the opportunity to use terms like "gate lice" and "Ma and Pa Kettle" and, thus, briefly feel superior to 99.999% of the general population (did I provide enough 9's?).
Yes, this is a free forum... thus it provides the freedom to post in poor taste.
As to the photos, no one in a public setting has the right to absolute privacy.
However, in my value system, everyone has the right to expect that their photo will be not be taken without their permission, to be posted in the internet, and used to support a lame and sophomoric attempt at "humor."
It gives those whose ego needs a boost the opportunity to use terms like "gate lice" and "Ma and Pa Kettle" and, thus, briefly feel superior to 99.999% of the general population (did I provide enough 9's?).
Yes, this is a free forum... thus it provides the freedom to post in poor taste.
As to the photos, no one in a public setting has the right to absolute privacy.
However, in my value system, everyone has the right to expect that their photo will be not be taken without their permission, to be posted in the internet, and used to support a lame and sophomoric attempt at "humor."
Here's the solution -
DL should get some of those pop-up tunnels, like kids have, but larger. Right before the flight starts, they can pop the tunnel up, with one end at the scanner and the other end somewhere in the gate area. Delta Royalty will be allowed to enter the plane through the Royal Tunnel Entrance. (Can you hear the horns chiming "Da-dadada" as they walk? ) This will allow the Royalty to avoid contact with the cake-eating "gate lice" who should probably be asked to bow to those walking through the tunnel.
Once the Royalty has safely made it to the Jetway, the tunnel would be collapsed and stored, and the "gate lice" that has been waiting can board without losing their status as "first" or having to worry about their being no OH space. (Because we all know that the OH space can run out before Zone 3 boards. )
If the tunnel idea seems unworkable, perhaps DL could hire four burly men to carry a Litter. (Like Cleopatra rode.) Those who feel the need to make the "gate lice" know who's important could meet in the middle of the hallway, board the Litter and be carried to the scanner.
Seriously, I don't understand why people need to crowd around the scanner fifteen minutes before the flight, and I don't like having to navigate through them as I try to board with Zone 1 so that I can get my bag into the OH and so that I don't have to stand in the long line later, but the tone that a few people have (only a few) in this thread is more about making sure everyone in the gate area knows how imporant you are rather than issues about easily boarding the plane.
Oh, wait, better idea...replace the carpet on the Breezeway with grates. Right before Zone 1 is called, turn on fire hoses and wash the "gate lice" away.
-DL should get some of those pop-up tunnels, like kids have, but larger. Right before the flight starts, they can pop the tunnel up, with one end at the scanner and the other end somewhere in the gate area. Delta Royalty will be allowed to enter the plane through the Royal Tunnel Entrance. (Can you hear the horns chiming "Da-dadada" as they walk?
) This will allow the Royalty to avoid contact with the cake-eating "gate lice" who should probably be asked to bow to those walking through the tunnel.Once the Royalty has safely made it to the Jetway, the tunnel would be collapsed and stored, and the "gate lice" that has been waiting can board without losing their status as "first" or having to worry about their being no OH space. (Because we all know that the OH space can run out before Zone 3 boards.
)If the tunnel idea seems unworkable, perhaps DL could hire four burly men to carry a Litter. (Like Cleopatra rode.)
Those who feel the need to make the "gate lice" know who's important could meet in the middle of the hallway, board the Litter and be carried to the scanner. Seriously, I don't understand why people need to crowd around the scanner fifteen minutes before the flight, and I don't like having to navigate through them as I try to board with Zone 1 so that I can get my bag into the OH and so that I don't have to stand in the long line later, but the tone that a few people have (only a few) in this thread is more about making sure everyone in the gate area knows how imporant you are rather than issues about easily boarding the plane.
Oh, wait, better idea...replace the carpet on the Breezeway with grates. Right before Zone 1 is called, turn on fire hoses and wash the "gate lice" away.
As I read these posts, I wonder if the 'gate lice' phenom happens more at airports where it just seems like the number of seats at the gate is fewer than the number of seats on the plane.
I don't feel too rushed/packed at DTW but I always feel packed at ATL (which I hate btw just for that reason).
Some airports just seem more open and spacious and you don't get that crowding effect.
I don't feel too rushed/packed at DTW but I always feel packed at ATL (which I hate btw just for that reason).
Some airports just seem more open and spacious and you don't get that crowding effect.
Mar 13, 2010, 7:46 pm
#231
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: NW OH
Programs: DL PM/KM, AC *G, AS MVP-100K
Posts: 829
(A mad rush for the bridge. Robin arrives first. The knights cluster behind. A few sniff and wrinkle their noses, and the group backs off.)
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge to Jet
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Robin: (excitedly) Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Robin: DYKWIA? Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?
Robin: I seek the Grail: Overhead storage for overstuffed carryons!
Bridgekeeper: What...is your Boarding Zone?
Robin: (indignant) I don't know THAT!! (An unseen force whisks him up
and over the side.) AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!
Mar 13, 2010, 8:00 pm
#232
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jun 2008
Programs: Formaldehyde Medallion DL DieMiles
Posts: 12,646
Having a great day.
So great, in fact, that I wasn't even the least bit tempted to head out to the airport to photograph strangers and belittle them on the internet.
I amused myself in more productive, and less supercilious, ways.
The question is "What sort of day were you having when you decided to flip out on a superiority trip?"
Mar 13, 2010, 8:13 pm
#233
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LAX/BOS/HKG/AMS/SFO...hmm, I need a life.
Programs: United1K, AA ExPlAAt, DL MM/Gold, Hilton Diamond, Avis First
Posts: 13,316
Results of today's Lice patrol in SFO. The way it ought to be and this is a full fifteen minutes prior to boarding.
[IMG]
[/IMG]
[IMG]
[/IMG]
Mar 14, 2010, 12:21 pm
#234
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Phoenix
Programs: DL Million Miler, Skymiles GM, Marriott Lifetime Platinum Elite
Posts: 677
DL should get some of those pop-up tunnels, like kids have, but larger. Right before the flight starts, they can pop the tunnel up, with one end at the scanner and the other end somewhere in the gate area. Delta Royalty will be allowed to enter the plane through the Royal Tunnel Entrance. (Can you hear the horns chiming "Da-dadada" as they walk?
) This will allow the Royalty to avoid contact with the cake-eating "gate lice" who should probably be asked to bow to those walking through the tunnel.Maybe this is the much anticipated future DM benefit package slated to roll out later this summer. Alas, it will only work for a few days - the unwashed masses will eventually learn to congregate at the entrance of the tunnel, thus negating the beauty of the solution.
Mar 14, 2010, 12:24 pm
#235
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: The best state in the USA - Florida!
Programs: Marriott Titanium/LT Plat, AS MVP75K, AA PlatPro, UA Premier, Disney AP
Posts: 14,497
Mar 14, 2010, 2:08 pm
#236
Join Date: Jan 2010
Programs: AA Plat 2MM/UA G MM/DL MM DM 2015/BA Silver/Hyatt Diamond
Posts: 3,103
As I read these posts, I wonder if the 'gate lice' phenom happens more at airports where it just seems like the number of seats at the gate is fewer than the number of seats on the plane.
I don't feel too rushed/packed at DTW but I always feel packed at ATL (which I hate btw just for that reason).
Some airports just seem more open and spacious and you don't get that crowding effect.
I don't feel too rushed/packed at DTW but I always feel packed at ATL (which I hate btw just for that reason).
Some airports just seem more open and spacious and you don't get that crowding effect.
Recently, with the new priority bags, I have found that checking on the return works just fine and eliminates the OH advantage of earlier boarding. Bypassing the unwashed by using the Breezeway after the Medallions are done gets a few looks and still means waiting in the jetway, but has its adavntages This is analogous to the elite line at TSA at T2 - the looks you get are sometimes quite humorous. I do like to have a couple of minutes to settle in and get a drink before the door closes so waiting to the last minute is not something I do.
As for the other posts, I am not a big fan of gate lice in Zone 2 and higher queuing early (or the POed Y seated PM who didn't get upgraded on his $300 ticket). I have no problem with FC passengers hanging around the breezeway if they want - they are not going to get in anyone's way.
Mar 14, 2010, 2:39 pm
#237
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Japan
Posts: 5,577
Refreshingly entertaining. Quite a contrast to the usually confrontational climate in this forum. We can all agree^
Mar 14, 2010, 4:09 pm
#238
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Northern Ireland
Programs: MR Lifetime Titanium, United Silver
Posts: 625
Or this one, with the possible substitution of a trap door....
(A mad rush for the bridge. Robin arrives first. The knights cluster behind. A few sniff and wrinkle their noses, and the group backs off.)
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge to Jet
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Robin: (excitedly) Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Robin: DYKWIA? Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?
Robin: I seek the Grail: Overhead storage for overstuffed carryons!
Bridgekeeper: What...is your Boarding Zone?
Robin: (indignant) I don't know THAT!! (An unseen force whisks him up
and over the side.) AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!
(A mad rush for the bridge. Robin arrives first. The knights cluster behind. A few sniff and wrinkle their noses, and the group backs off.)
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge to Jet
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Robin: (excitedly) Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Robin: DYKWIA? Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?
Robin: I seek the Grail: Overhead storage for overstuffed carryons!
Bridgekeeper: What...is your Boarding Zone?
Robin: (indignant) I don't know THAT!! (An unseen force whisks him up
and over the side.) AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!
Mar 14, 2010, 4:32 pm
#239
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: MCO
Programs: DL-DM/1MM, HILTON-DIA, .HYATT-DIA/GLOB , IHG-PLT,HERTZ 5*, NATIONAL ES
Posts: 8,691
While I do like the tunnel idea.
At MCO, DL could take a page from the Disney playbook. They could draw circles with numbers on the floor representing seat numbers... Those with status could have separste roped off areas like a fast pass lane.
They could even have a pre show film to show everyone how and when to board.. And how to store their mickey ears-i mean carry ons
It works for Soarn
At MCO, DL could take a page from the Disney playbook. They could draw circles with numbers on the floor representing seat numbers... Those with status could have separste roped off areas like a fast pass lane.
They could even have a pre show film to show everyone how and when to board.. And how to store their mickey ears-i mean carry ons
It works for Soarn
Mar 14, 2010, 6:12 pm
#240
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: BDU
Programs: DL:MM, Marriott:LTT
Posts: 8,779
Same with the litter. The pick-up point can be selected moments before boarding commences.
I'm still leaning towards the firehoses, though I might start flying with my own tunnel and see if the GAs will let me use it.