Newbie here.

To preface this account, I have lived in HK for more than 6 years and I'm very used to the direct and sometimes brash manner here. Also, I am an Asian woman, and every other Caucasian Man around me, before and after the ISM's conversations with me were treated with obsequious kindness.

So, my BF (MPO Gold) and I bought redemption flights to DPS and on the way back, he got an upgrade. So on board we switched and I was in J and he in Y. We've done this more times than I can count, and even in FCL. I've always been treated well and no one bats an eyelash. I thought I can always count on the same service.

ISM approaches me to ask me "What's your original seat number?" So I responded with "44X." She then responds in a louder, hostile voice "What are you doing here?" So I explained we had switched. Then she said even louder "What's your name?" So I said "I'm sorry?" ISM responded with "So I know how I may address you?" At no point did she ask to see my boarding pass. She had her iPad with her so I said surely you can figure this out because you have your iPad with you - so she did. I understand that she needs information but she could be nicer. She spoke to the other gentleman on the other end of the aisle of me and ISM was so nice to him - he moved from middle to end seat and she was saying it was okay to do so. Fine.

She left and I wrote her a note that this was the only time I've ever been humiliated on a CX flight. As the flight was delayed, she had time to come back and speak with me. She said I shouldn't be upset because she didn't mean to humiliate me. She asked as well "Did you tell anyone of my staff, did you tell anyone?" - again in a louder and openly hostile voice. I had to say "how I feel is not up to you." She then apologised "if you feel humiliated" - which is a non-apology I think. She said she would send my note back to Management and give my feedback to them. Purser tries to calm me down as I was crying quietly - she was nice.

I asked to move back to Y and the lady beside my BF was kind enough to take my seat in Business. After take off, Purser checks on me a couple of times which was nice.

TLDR : ISM was openly hostile what do I do?

Yikes sounds like a bad situation all around.

I don't mean to pour any gasoline here, but you should definitely ask to swap first. I've done the same as you many times but always, always asked the ISM in advance pre flight (and always said okay). Once they're on board eith what you're doing no risk of your situation occurring.

Also, just a heads up but never hand the forms to the crew. Ever. (Unless you specifically want them to read). Even if you seal them, the crew almost ALWAYS open them and read them. Usually only good reviews are passed along and bad ones thrown out.

As for your charge of racism, yikes. It's a very serious accusation and it doesn't sound like you have proof! From what it sounds like to me, the ISM was pissed you didn't show him/her the respect and perhaps is an insecure person. I mean, you were probably the only person in J doing this unique thing is switching seats on that flight, and maybe the ISM is a control freak. I sympathize with a bad flight but I think you really haven't explained why the ISM was racist! Which undermines a bit of what you've written, at least IMO. Having lived in HK for a decade, I've noticed there is a strong (and somewhat unfortunate) undercurrent in HK whereby folks like to accept as fact CX (and SQ) female crew treat Caucasian men amazing, and everyone else dirt, with an implied tone that the CX/SQ/etc Asian female crew are all gold diggers looking to find a foreign husband. This is quite the unfortunate stereotype for many reasons, least of all I don't see a whole lot of actual proof of it being doled out selectively (I fly with mainland and HK colleagues frequently, and feel comfortable saying a degree of flirting / etc. goes on between everyone....good or bad. I will say that a charge of sexism might be more well placed!). But this always makes me uncomfortable when I see a whiff of this argument. Anyway I'm not sure if that's your point, maybe the ISM was a guy!!

A moderator's note before this thread continues.

This thread has the potential to diverge and discuss things like racial profiling. However the OP is asking about what she can do to follow up on her particular circumstances. So let's stick to the facts of this case and not get personal.

If we diverge, the thread will be closed.

sxc
Cathay Pacific Moderator

Hi ARVHK, welcome to FlyerTalk!

Everyone's perception is different, and there is sometimes a disconnect between action and intention. Racism is indeed strong accusation, but I wasn't there, and I'm not here to assess that claim.

I guess a question back would be...what are you hoping to accomplish or receive? Is it an apology from CX? A more formal one from the ISM? Or is it compensation of some sort? I think knowing your goal in this might be helpful in finding the next step, should there be any.

circumstantial evidences based on your side of story do not give any proof of racism taking place to me. rude, perhaps. could ISM have better? absolutely.

but escalating this will lead you nowhere apart from wasting your time and further angst of inaction. i would suggest you just move on, like any other grief in your life.

next time if you want to pursue such claim, perhaps take recording. unless ISM called you by racial deragatory comments on recording you have zero luck... but if you did you can end her career there. good luck

I did hand her the note for her to read. And I suppose I don't have any proof which doesn't help me at all. I've lived here many years as well and I'm used to the directness but I really could feel the open hostility and when you see how she treated the next person who was Caucasian and Male - and her conversation with my BF then maybe I feel I've been discriminated upon. ISM is female.

Yes, an apology and discussion on the situation is all I hope for. I don't need any compensation. Any tips?

Following on:

If the OPs goal is to let CX know of your dissatisfaction, definitely write them another form or send an email. Because it sounds to me like you gave it to the ISM, and I'd bet heavy odds it won't be passed to CX mgmt if that's the case. Instead the ISM probably tossed it.

Without any real proof of racism, I recommend sticking to the facts. It sounds like service sucked and the ISM was rude. CX is a bureaucracy but they are (ostensibly) concerned about poor/rude service on board. The ISM raising her/his voice to you in front of the other passengers isn't acceptable service standards to me. I'd focus on how you felt humiliated but leave the racism / favoritism towards white people tone out of it. I think your argument will be much stronger. However, don't expect much...if you've trolled around this forum you'll find people having to follow up multiple times with CX just to not get a canned reaponse. And some of these guys had obvious "compensatory" problems, like broken IFE.

Good luck. No matter what it's terrible the ISM made you cry!

Yes, I probably should have recorded second conversation. You're right. I have no intention except to have a discussion on the flight and how the ISM could talk to people better. I could feel the hostility radiating.

Welcome to FlyerTalk ARVHK !

I accept the OP's claim that there was hostility, since that is something you can see directly. Racism, on the other hand, is an interpretation of the underlying thoughts behind the hostility, but you can't claim to know someone's thoughts. One can establish racism based on a statistical pattern in multiple events, but rarely based on a single event, unless e.g. racist words are used. One should never make such a serious claim without serious evidence.

In this case, without justifying any rudeness, it is clear why the FA was rude. Her records did not match the person in the seat (different gender, at least) so she assumed you were self-upgrading (sneaking into a higher-class seat), which happens more often that one might think. (Just last month I found an economy passenger calmly sitting in my business-class seat.) So you were NOT the same as the other passengers except for your race; therefore your experience cannot be attributed to your race.

Good morning. You mentioned that you are an Asian woman, but didn't mention your background; so I must ask: In what language did this conversation with the ISM take place? That might be relevant.

You made it very easy, of course, for ISM to see that you were not the person assigned to the seat. You are female; and your B/F is male. As mentioned upthread, you should always ask before making this type of switch; some airlines don't allow it at all. At the very least, it gives the cabin crew visibility on what you've done, which may help avoid situations like this in the future.

Regarding the gentleman on the other end of the aisle who switched seats, switching to an empty seat within a cabin is completely different from switching cabins.

There's nothing in your narrative which says racism to me. As you say, dealing with people in a brash manner isn't uncommon and you're accustomed to it. Combine that with the unauthorized switch, and I can see how ISM might have adopted a somewhat authoritarian tone possibly without even intending to do so.

Although second guessing is easy, had I been in your shoes, when she first asked for your original seat number, I might have responded something more along the lines of, "I'm assigned to 44X. I know that this isn't my seat; but my boyfriend was really nice and offered to switch seats with me so that I could sit in business class." ISM might have been more reasonable in her approach if she knew right from the start that you weren't a seat poacher. She probably approached you initially as a self-upgrader; and you didn't give her any contrary information until she asked for it. If that was the case, it would, IMO, explain the attitude.

My approach is always to try to avoid the controversy/argument rather than win it.

Honestly had the ISM been more friendly towards OP and the BF in EY, while she takes care of the rest of the passengers in EY...this wouldn't whole thing might have been forgotten already.

I think the ISM should have known better, even if OP switched seats [violates safety procedure] and IM is just "doing her job" and she didn't mean any offense by the fact that OP felt slighted and needed to write down a note for her. she should have extended some courtesy or service recovery during the flight.

I think it's clear she's responsible and can ask questions but I don't understand how she is justified in her rudeness? Any tip how best to open the conversation with CX?

Also didn't realise that many people would self-upgrade. That would be crazy embarassing and now only realise common it is!

Hi Dr. HFH. Conversation and note to ISM was in English. I should keep your suggestion in mind for future use - it's a good suggestion. We've done this before and never really had any sort of problem - we only ever told a crew member once and then after that it was all clear.

I would understand skepticism from her end and her need to match her records but her open hostility is difficult to accept.