Versions of this has been floating around for a while, this one came in as "Ohio" but I changed most references to Edmonton and Ottawa, and the butt to Toronto, in honour of some recent teasing.

Please read all of these to the end...it will be its own reward.


TORONTO TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART

@ +70 degrees Fahrenheit

Torontonians turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear. People in Ottawa go swimming in the Rivers.

@ +60 degrees Fahrenheit

Torontonians try to turn on the heat. People in Edmonton plant gardens.

@ +50 degrees Fahrenheit

Torontonians shiver uncontrollably. People in Ottawa sunbathe.

@ +40 degrees Fahrenheit

Italian & English cars won't start. People in Edmonton drive with the windows down.

@ +32 degrees Fahrenheit

Distilled water freezes. Ottawa River water gets thicker.

@ +20 degrees Fahrenheit

Torontonians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats. People in Edmonton throw on a flannel shirt.

@ +15 degrees Fahrenheit

Toronto landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Ottawa have the last cookout before it gets cold.

@ +10 degrees Fahrenheit

People in Toronto all die... Edmontonians lick the flagpole.

@ -20 degrees Fahrenheit

Torontonians fly away to Mexico. People in Ottawa get out their winter coats.

@ -40 degrees Fahrenheit

Toronto disintegrates. The Girl Guides in Edmonton are selling cookies door to door.

@ -60 degrees Fahrenheit

Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic. Ottawa Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

@ -80 degrees Fahrenheit

Mt. St. Helens freezes. People in Edmonton rent some videos.

@ -100 degrees Fahrenheit

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Eskimos fans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

@ -297 degrees Fahrenheit

Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products. Cows in Eastern Ontario complain about farmers with cold hands.

@ -460 degrees Fahrenheit

ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale). People in Edmonton start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

@ -500 degrees Fahrenheit

Hell freezes over. The Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup!

First, congratulations on passing the 3K post mark. You are now truly an elite of the FT community.

Second, given my credentials of having lived in all three cities you mock [for more than 15-years in each at that], I take this very personally. I just have no idea what I am supposed to do in this weather, other than get on an airplane and get away from it.

But where are the references at +80 degrees F to AC cancelling flights in Toronto due to low staff turn-out as almost all YYZ employees fill flights to MIA, FLL, SAN and other hot weather destinations to escape the cold spell!

Thanks Shareholder! Does my FT Elite status come with any more useful benefits than AC Elite status?

Good reference to YYZians fleeing the city.

andrew


[This message has been edited by Andrew Webber (edited 06-19-2002).]

I am waiting for Empress to let me know when he can attend my leaf futility party celebrating 35 years of no cups except the ones they wear to protect the family jewels.

Well, the last FT tier you achieved got you a Boxing Day lunch with me and FlyerAl. What more could you want? I am certain that trumps AC's current Elite benefits, no?

It would have to be an "Award Winning" lunch...

What's the difference between a Torontonian and someone from Calgary/Edmonton/Vancouver/Ottawa/... ?

The Torontonian is aware that everyone else in the country hates him for his arrogance about his city ;-)



[This message has been edited by Bytepusher (edited 06-20-2002).]