rpmkwpw

Great post!

My partner and I ALWAYS go to the counter together (how else do you manage a good cop/ bad cop routine when they're not giving you what you want?). We have NEVER had problems with awkwardness or mixups. We don't ask either; we simply expect whatever we reserved is what we're going to get and we're more concerned with location and size (don't even! )

This isn't a flame, so please don't take it that way, but I couldn't imagine one of us standing back while we work out the room. I grew up with really cheap parents (one of four children) and they left us in the car while they got the room, then we had to schlep our bags to the rooms in twos so as not to alarm anyone about the number of people in the rooms. That was good for a couple months of therapy since we travelled so much. For me, it fits my view on "being out" which is you're as out as you behave... (again, I'm not knocking anyone else, just explaining my approach) I really don't think about it as an issue, unless someone else raises it. If they do, it is their issue, and treated as such. There's no place for such issues in the hospitality industry in my opinion, so I can't see it going anywhere.

Ok, maybe more than two cents worth, but there it is.

erdoc

The only time I can really recall an issue was in Italy. We had asked for a single bed for the two of us and the women behind the counter (thinking we understood no Italian) went on about how funny it was two men would sleep in the same bed. We did get what we wanted however.

Some of the smaller B&Bs only have twin beds and when that happens we do not push the issue.

ajnaro

My partner and I travel together around the world. We normally stay at Starwood, Hilton, or Hyatt hotels or, sometimes, local aparthotels. We have never had any difficulty whatsoever with the bedding issue or any others that I can think of that might be related to us being together. We normally stand together at the front desk as this seems the natural thing to do. The only time I can recall when there was even any mention of bedding was right here, on a free weekend, at the Sheraton in our hometown of Rio de Janeiro. The desk clerk was very apologetic and said something like `there`s been a mistake ? you have a room with a king bed ? I`ll send up an extra bed immediately.` We told her there was no need and that was the end of it. We had a fine time, although it felt funny to be in a hotel in Rio.

SFFlyman

My partner and/or friends have traveled extensively together and have not yet had a problem with requesting one bed. In Ibiza last year, my partner and I were shocked when the hotel clerk asked us if we WANTED one bed instead of two. I have found very few hotels in Europe which offer king sized beds, so if we are saddled with two beds, we move the center night stand out of the way and push the beds together. Not as comfy as one bed, but the goal is achieved.

pointsgirl

I am not gay or lesbian but I was reading this and just wanted to say that I had never thought about anyone having problems checking in to a hotel.
I guess I just always thought...why should anyone care? But I see from this thread that you run in to lots of problems, and I must say that this kind of makes me sad. You should not have to worry about how to check in or if only one of you should go up.

SFO2AMS

Well, my partner and I have only been together for five years, so I don't remember a time when I would have been circumspect about this.

We stay mostly in four-star hotels, or gay B&Bs in major European capitals, but even in the random chain hotel after a family wedding (the family wedding I was aprehensive about) in BGM, our method is always the same. He comes in and stands next to me quietly at the counter. He won't say anything, as he doesn't like confrontation, and just rolls his eyes as I patiently but firmly insist that I get the level of service they promised. (Like the two occasions the desk clerk at the AMS Hilton couldn't find our reservation, because they don't like to honor the low price; but, I digress.)

In all cases I treat the bedding choice as a formality, and act like I don't expect it to be questioned. I find if I don't make a big deal of it, they take the cue, but I certainly wouldn't try to hide my partner -- if there's going to be a problem with a hotel, I'd like to know BEFORE I check in.

[This message has been edited by SFO2AMS (edited 03-21-2002).]

[This message has been edited by SFO2AMS (edited 03-21-2002).]

sjharte

Many years ago (well about 8) when I was in my early 20s (isn't getting old horrible) I was on a first date with someone who was to becoem a boyfriend.

Both of us were living at home and he was very closeted (wouldn't, at that point, even admit to himself that he was gay but subsequently he ended up on TV as Mr Edinburgh when they televised the Mr Gay UK contest!!).

We decided to "spend the night togther" (we were young) so we checked into a small hotel in a small town outside Edinburgh (we didn't have much money).

We explained that we were from Aberdeen and our car had broken down and to save cash we'd just share a room.

The hotel took pity on us and - so that we didn't have to sleep togther - gave us two rooms for the price of one!!!

Memories!

Stephen

gwendolynaoife

generally, my partner and i haven't had much trouble, though some of the places that we have just astound me.

the example used at the hilton in BKK is the most common. we get that 80 to 90 percent of the time.

but we're not always that lucky. the Doubletree Southcenter in Seattle just wouldn't give us one bed (fortunately, years of dorm life have taught me how to share a twin, much less a full! ), and we got static at a Radisson in Montreal, though once i grabbed the manager and got going in French about it, he handled it with style and grace.

i'm afraid this is probably one situation where it's going to hit harder on gay boys; because it's more culturally accepted that women might share a bed without *sharing* a bed, it's not going to be quite as much an issue. that could frankly call up an entirely separate rant, but let's not go there. *grin*

Analise

This thread has been very interesting but I did notice that all the respondents have been men. Have any women come across the same kind of roadblocks as the men have or are men somehow targeted?

I find it outrageous that some hotels are making their guests feel uncomfortable about fulfilling their requests---like a king bed for example. Hotel are in the business of making money. To alienate and even antogonize their clientele to me is beyond moronic.

Comicwoman

The ex and I only traveled together a couple of times. We checked in together. I wanted the points and we used her US Government Retired Military ID to get a discount. And we all know that there are no gays in the military!

RChavez

This sadly can sometimes be the case with businesses. They want to make money, just not *gay* money. They'd rather forego the business than tarnish their reputation.

Granted, I live in Boston, and travel mostly to large metropolitan cities, so I encounter situations like this very infrequently. Most of the time, the reaction is like many have described....it's almost like watching the sun rise on the face of the desk clerk as he/she clues in!

Doppy

What exactly happened in Seattle? I can't imagine checking into a hotel that just wouldn't allow us to have one bed. Seattle is a relatively metropolitan city, I'm kind of surprised to hear that you got a flat out refusal.

In a foreign country with a language barrier, I might be a little more apt to accept the situation, but certainly not in the US. That's a case where I'd turn around and walk out.

Personally, I think the whole issue is such nonsense. If I were working a hotel front desk I wouldn't care who was checking in or what they were doing. As long as they had money, weren't going to break the hotel rules (like have 20 people stay in one room) or set the place on fire, it would be fine with me.

Do these same people who have a problem with gays sharing a bed also make sure that all straights who share a bed are married? It amazes me how many people use "it's a sin" to justify their dislike for gays, yet have no problem with premarital straight sex, which is also a sin, according to most religions.

d

wharvey

Doppy,

I had just assumed in the Seattle situation that there were not any single bed rooms left... that has happenned to us before... and had nothing to do with our orientation.

COMICWOMAN: There are gay people in the military? SAY IT ISN'T SO!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!

William

WilliamTheTraveler

The way you handle it is to walk up to the desk and say to the person checking you in "We have a reservation and we'd like to check in" (with your partner, traveling companion, etc. next to you).

She asks for your last name, credit card, etc and then confirmed the room with a King bed and you say "yes", she swipes your card, hands you your keys and you depart for the elevators.

No questions asked, no embarrasment. You are a PAYING guest in the hotel (as in $$$). Nothing to explain or be ashamed of.

fastflyer

My problems with this tend to be in Europe: in a relatively large city in Poland last year, and, believe it or not, in Paris years ago.

The Paris story is interesting. I was there for the Bicentennial, and a hetero friend, John, was traveling with me. My brother had leased an apartment in the sixth for the Summer, but another brother had arrived with friends unexpectedly early. So, after my long trip, John and I checked into a hotel. The owner, who was clerking, had one vacancy, and was very reluctant to sell it to us. I realized a bit later why: the room had one, narrow Queen bed.

John and I had a good laugh by putting on a show for the owner at check-out the next morning.