That really is the best thread title I could come up with . Can you do better?

Over the past 2 1/2 days of domestic bliss I have laundered, ironed, cleaned, dusted, tidied, and polished to the point where I’m now thoroughly bored of housework. I have caught up with all my outstanding work and have a huge todo list of people to harass on Tuesday. All that epic productivity now leaves me with far too much time on my hands. A bored Japes is a dangerous Japes and there’s only one possible solution, jump on a plane!

I could not find a redemption day trip to anywhere beyond London so before I start my 8 day trip to Kentucky it’s time for a 10 hour trip to the Concorde Room for breakfast and lunch Here comes my entry for the shortest, dullest trip report of the year award.

Next stop: Newcastle airport at stupid o’clock in the morning.

The 5 H's (per thread title).

The reasons for eating food can also be represented by the 5Hs i.e. Health, Habit, Hunger, Happiness and Hospitality

I can only assume you’ve had too many Easter eggs, a day trip before your mad bourbon tastings! Or are you jealous that golfmad has out Japes’d you with his crazy round the world 107 times in 3 days trip🤣

PS forgot to say I assume BA have funded this with your many Avios compensations for assorted failures!

Golfmad is my hero, I want to be like him when I grow up

Absolutely funded by BA, and on recent performance I should get most of it back anyway 🤣

It's only April... and you could always write another trip report that involves no travel whatsoever.

Ouch!

like this one?

Birmingham Bites!

Considering you travel so much for work and leasure, I was actually wondering what your household looks like. If you can catch up on everything in 2.5 days then it's either not very large or you are very efficient!

Yes to both Tiny terraced house, more than sufficient for my needs.

Early to bed, early to rise, makes Japes h….. barely functional

Good morning from Aster and Thyme here at Newcastle airport where it is 04:30 and the departures side is really quiet so far. It’ll not stay that way for long, there were huge queues at baggage check and the standard security was thronging, lots of LCC out first thing in the morning as usual although today BA beats them all off the ground… I hope!



Having collected my bag from secondary security unsearched “It came through by mistake”? the first stop is for the now traditional start to the day courtesy of Priority Pass



I’m feeling a little decaffeinated this morning. Uber caught me by surprise, I had a two minute wait instead of the expected 10-15 minutes and therefore my second coffee of the day went down the sink. With 50 minutes to boarding there’s plenty of time for me to resolve the caffeine imbalance in the Aspire Lounge

The Aspire lounge is pretty quiet this morning, no more than 20 people in total. The standard cheery greeting and a “would you like a glass of fizz”… these guys know me far too well by now


Working my way up towards the trio

Twenty minutes to boarding, just enough time for a mini sausage stottie


A thing of beauty!

A little view of the apron this morning



The gate was announced with thirty minutes to departure and it was a typical Newcastle straight onto the plane for everyone morning. In the KARFA seat today, 1F



G-EUYW today, a ten year old A320 that I’ve been onboard twice previously, most recently to Santorini back in June ‘24



It never fails to fascinate me watching people board. A rough estimate, 10% check the row number at row 1, and 20% arrive still clutching passports and boarding passes (props to the guy who had at least a dozen paper boarding passes in his hand and was shuffling through them).

Boarding has completed at 05:45 so we’re very much on time, now it’s over to the Heathrow ATC gods… not even 6am, will there be an ATC delay?

Next Stop: LHR in a little over an hours time.

Despite being ready nice and early we pushed back exactly on time and taxied to the runway where we had to wait a good ten minutes before we were eventually on our way. As the 6am KLM departure was away well ahead of us I can only assume that we picked up a ten minute ATC delay.

Breakfast was served as soon as the seatbelt lights were off, and, finally, the full morning trio.



I opted for the full English as it’s been quite a while and, frankly, it tasted just plain nasty and went back to the galley after a couple of mouthfuls.



A quick chat with the cabin lead and I managed to procure a sky flyers log book so if anyone is still waiting for one, drop me a PM.

The remainder of the flight was spent messing around on the iPad until the seatbelt lights came on and we were heading down into the clouds with fifteen minutes to landing at 06:50. There were some very dark and moody clouds on the way down and we only cleared the clouds about a minute before we landed .






On the ground at 07:05, a pleasant enough flight with no surprises, well, unless you count the fact that the wifi actually worked as a surprise

Through the very sedate first lounge…



… and across the landing to the CCR and first stop was customer services to arrange a seat change. I had 4F and 1F had a seat block which I couldn’t change into online but the lovely ladies at the desk had me moved up in moments.



Stop 2 is the bar for a heart pumping Espresso Martini Opera

Can't believe you're flying to T5 just for lunch!

(well actually I can, have read enough of your TRs )

We're passing through briefly, would be great to say hi. I will PM when we land.

1F seat block? Does KARFA move in mysterious ways?