VorelNaCestach

Ah, they don't have Zacapa anymore.
If you will go back will you stay in CP or will you try a different hotel?

JapesUK

Revived by a coffee that cleared the remnants of sleep from my mind, I made my way to the gate. Boarding began almost immediately after, serving up a dose of double déjà vu.







Once again, I found myself boarding G-EUYP, the very aircraft that had ferried me from Newcastle to Heathrow yesterday, and to add to the sense of repetition, the crew was the same team that had accompanied us on our journey to Aberdeen the previous afternoon.

JapesUK

Boarding has wrapped up, but the situation has devolved into a bit of a circus. Passengers are being tasked with ferrying their own luggage to the front of the plane for hold storage, sparking a bottleneck as they try to navigate back past a queue of waiting passengers. To compound the chaos, ground staff seem to be caught off guard, with no luggage tags prepped and ready to go. It's a total muddle that has been unfolding for a solid ten minutes now, turning the boarding process into a logistical puzzle.

JapesUK

They have the trio of Don Julio in its place. I would stay at the CP again, although I’d probably eat at the local carvery and not bother with the paid breakfast

JapesUK

The chaos has escalated from a mere shambles to a full-blown farce! In a twist of logistical lunacy, the ground crew has somehow managed to lose track of which bag belongs to which seat. And as if that wasn't enough to stir the pot, it appears that in the frenzy, no one thought to inquire about the contents of these bags. Now, in a desperate bid to ensure safety and compliance, they're scrambling to reconnect with the affected passengers to double-check for any prohibited items. The boarding process has turned into a comedy of errors, minus the laughter.

Tocsin

It seems wrong to 'like' your description of chaos

Was that also via a ChatGPT prompt?

JapesUK

Finally, we were airborne, taking off about thirty minutes behind schedule. Luckily, like the Newcastle route, this flight's timetable seems to have a cushion built in for such delays.

The club cabin, consisting of six rows with not every seat occupied, housed a cozy group of roughly 20 passengers this afternoon, making the crews task of serving afternoon tea a manageable affair.

The tea menus had been distributed and it seems that I had opted for the Kosher Special Meal. What unfolded next was a culinary curveball. The standard cold option tray was presented in its fully wrapped glory, only for me to be asked to unwrap it so they could add the hot dish—a beef casserole that was surprisingly tasty. The puzzlement arose when I noticed the cold tray's label mentioning a cheese croissant as the entree, and the casserole arrived in a foil tray rather than the usual china dish, leaving me to muse over whether this was a substitute of some sort. To clarify, there's no complaint here—the casserole was indeed delightful; it was just an unforeseen twist.




Post-lounge snooze mugginess influenced my decision to forego alcohol on this flight, opting instead for a couple of Heineken zeros.

The crew this time around were the epitome of efficiency, swiftly completing their service rounds before heading behind the curtain for their own meal break.

Not long after, the captain's voice filled the cabin, bringing news of no ATC delays that evening, and forecasting our arrival to be just 15 minutes behind schedule.

JapesUK

ChatGPT says - Yes, the vivid depictions of the boarding chaos, starting with "The chaos has escalated ," was indeed in response to a ChatGPT prompt. It's always intriguing to explore how a bit of humor can illuminate even the most chaotic of situations, making them a tad more bearable—or at least, more entertaining to recount!

JapesUK

Navigating the landslide route out and back in proved to be a swift affair, especially through the South First security, which was surprisingly brisk. This pace wasn't exclusive to my path; a glance at the other lanes suggested a universal calm.

Speaking of tranquility, the First Lounge was embracing silence like an old friend, presenting itself in perhaps the most serene state I've ever witnessed.




Now, reclined with a coffee in one hand and a Baileys in the other, I'm delving back into the digital realms of FlyerTalk and catching up on global happenings. This brief interlude of relaxation and reflection will serve as the perfect precursor to boarding the final stretch of my journey back to Newcastle in around one hours time.

JapesUK

As the lounge's cozy warmth started to lull me into a drowsy state, I made the proactive decision to head towards the gate a tad earlier than planned. The thought of accidentally succumbing to sleep's embrace mere minutes before boarding sounded like a recipe for disaster. En route, I mused over the likelihood of our flight departing as scheduled, given the notorious unpredictability of air travel.

Arriving at the gate, I was greeted by a scene of packed passengers, a sight that did little to bolster my hopes for a timely departure.



Yet, in a turn of events worthy of a standing ovation, boarding for group 1 was announced less than a minute after I made my appearance, a whole 35 minutes ahead of our planned takeoff. It seemed the travel gods were smiling upon us today.

I found myself stepping onto G-NEOW, marking yet another first in my aviation adventures.




The crew's spirits were notably high, an impressive feat considering their impending overnight stay in Newcastle. Their cheeriness added a pleasant touch to the evening's atmosphere, promising a smooth journey ahead.

JapesUK

Boarding wrapped up with commendable punctuality, leading to a mere five-minute delay in our pushback from the gate—a minor hiccup in the grand scheme of things.

As the boarding process was drawing to a close, the in-flight manager made their rounds, distributing menus. Subsequently, I was on the receiving end of what's affectionately known as a "gold greeting." This personal welcome from the in-flight manager, where they assure you of their availability should you need anything, can sometimes feel a bit perfunctory. However, tonight's was delivered with genuine warmth, making it a notably pleasant interaction. Remarkably, this was my first gold greeting in quite some time. Their occurrence seems to be a bit of a lottery, dependent largely on the crew's initiative.

Toula

Stovies had me intrigued. Couldn't recognise the ingredients based on what you were served and they did not visually entice me, but when I googled a recipe I knew they were my kind of food. Thanks for all the effort involved in putting this and your other reports together.

VorelNaCestach

"culinary curveball" is a new one from chatgpt. Haven't seen that one before. Usually it's culinary delight.
looks like you like kosher meal a lot 😁 as you order it often.

emworksintv

Your trip reports are always an enjoyable read but the AI-isms in this one make it a real classic!

JapesUK

On tonight's flight, the standard meal offering was the spicy chicken that had been cleverly transformed into a delightful chicken roll the day before. Nevertheless, I had once again opted for a Kosher meal.




This evening's selection was a generous serving of beef paired with rice, all brought together with a tangy mustard sauce.

The culinary journey didn't stop there; it was accompanied by what can only be described as a bowl of velvet chocolate happiness, a dessert that was as decadent as it sounds.

By the time I had finished unwrapping the feast before me and navigating my way through the meal, we were a mere ten minutes from landing, the journey seemingly condensed by the culinary distraction.