One pilot, half a brain....
Sep 13, 1999, 12:54 am
#1
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Join Date: May 1998
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Posts: 14,257
One pilot, half a brain....
This is a true story published in the Chicago Tribune "Travel" section for
Sunday, June 6, 1999, in a story entitled "Choppy Skies - A white-knuckle
flight on Air Zimbabwe" by Gaby Plattner. It seems that Plattner was
traveling with a backpacking group through Africa as they found themselves
waiting in Kariba airport for a flight to Hwange . . .
Our flight was delayed, so we settled down to wait. And wait. Three hours
later, we were finally told the plane was ready to board. Air Zimbabwe bought
many of its planes second-hand from other airlines, and the one we got into
was no exception. Dirty and ancient, the mid-sizejetliner was clearly one
that no one else had wanted. Inside, we settled into the seats with 80 or 90
other passengers and waited. And waited some more. Finally, the pilot's
voice came over the loudspeaker. "We're all ready to go ladies and
gentlemen. However, we've been waiting for the copilot, and he still hasn't
arrived. Since we've already waited so long, we're just going to be flying
without a copilot today." There was a nervous buzz through the cabin. He
continued, 'If any of you feel uncomfortable with this, feel free to
disembark now and Air Zimbabwe will put you on the next available flight to
Hwange.' Here he paused. 'Unfortunately, we are not sure when that will be.
But rest assured, I have flown this route hundreds of times, we have clear
blue skies, and there are no foreseeable problems.' No one in Plattner's
group, doubtful as they might have been, wanted to wait any longer at Kariba
for a plane that may or may not materialize, so they stayed onboard for the
one-hour flight.
Once the aircraft reached cruising altitude, the pilot came on the
loudspeaker again 'Ladies and gentlemen. I am going to use the bathroom. I
have put the plane on auto-pilot and everything will be fine. I just don't
want you to worry.' That said, he came out of the cockpit, fastened the door
open with a rubber band to a hook on the wall. Then he went to the bathroom.
Plattner continues: Suddenly, we hit a patch of turbulence. Nothing much,
the cabin just shook a little for a moment. But the rubber band snapped off
with a loud 'ping!' and went sailing down the aisle. The door promptly swung
shut. A moment later, the pilot came out of the bathroom. When he saw the
closed door, he stopped cold. I watched him from the back and wondered what
was wrong.
The stewardess came running up, and together they both tried to open the
door. But it wouldn't budge. It slowly dawned on me that our pilot was
locked out of the cockpit. Cockpit doors lock automatically from the inside
to prevent terrorists from entering. Without a copilot, there was no one to
open the door from the inside. By now, the rest of the passengers had become
aware of the problem, and we watched the pilot, horrified. What would he do?
After a moment of contemplation, the pilot hurried to the back of the plane.
He returned holding a big axe. Without ceremony, he proceeded to chop down
the cockpit door. We were rooted to our seats as we watched him. Once he
managed to chop a hole in the door, he reached inside, unlocked the door, and
let himself back in. Then he came on the loudspeaker, his voice a little
shakier this time than before. 'Ah, ladies and gentlemen, we just had a
little problem there, but everything is fine now. We have plans to cover
every eventuality, even pilots getting locked out of their cockpits. So
relax and enjoy the rest of the flight!
------------------
Addicted to airline miles? Check out: The Airline Mileage Workshop
Sunday, June 6, 1999, in a story entitled "Choppy Skies - A white-knuckle
flight on Air Zimbabwe" by Gaby Plattner. It seems that Plattner was
traveling with a backpacking group through Africa as they found themselves
waiting in Kariba airport for a flight to Hwange . . .
Our flight was delayed, so we settled down to wait. And wait. Three hours
later, we were finally told the plane was ready to board. Air Zimbabwe bought
many of its planes second-hand from other airlines, and the one we got into
was no exception. Dirty and ancient, the mid-sizejetliner was clearly one
that no one else had wanted. Inside, we settled into the seats with 80 or 90
other passengers and waited. And waited some more. Finally, the pilot's
voice came over the loudspeaker. "We're all ready to go ladies and
gentlemen. However, we've been waiting for the copilot, and he still hasn't
arrived. Since we've already waited so long, we're just going to be flying
without a copilot today." There was a nervous buzz through the cabin. He
continued, 'If any of you feel uncomfortable with this, feel free to
disembark now and Air Zimbabwe will put you on the next available flight to
Hwange.' Here he paused. 'Unfortunately, we are not sure when that will be.
But rest assured, I have flown this route hundreds of times, we have clear
blue skies, and there are no foreseeable problems.' No one in Plattner's
group, doubtful as they might have been, wanted to wait any longer at Kariba
for a plane that may or may not materialize, so they stayed onboard for the
one-hour flight.
Once the aircraft reached cruising altitude, the pilot came on the
loudspeaker again 'Ladies and gentlemen. I am going to use the bathroom. I
have put the plane on auto-pilot and everything will be fine. I just don't
want you to worry.' That said, he came out of the cockpit, fastened the door
open with a rubber band to a hook on the wall. Then he went to the bathroom.
Plattner continues: Suddenly, we hit a patch of turbulence. Nothing much,
the cabin just shook a little for a moment. But the rubber band snapped off
with a loud 'ping!' and went sailing down the aisle. The door promptly swung
shut. A moment later, the pilot came out of the bathroom. When he saw the
closed door, he stopped cold. I watched him from the back and wondered what
was wrong.
The stewardess came running up, and together they both tried to open the
door. But it wouldn't budge. It slowly dawned on me that our pilot was
locked out of the cockpit. Cockpit doors lock automatically from the inside
to prevent terrorists from entering. Without a copilot, there was no one to
open the door from the inside. By now, the rest of the passengers had become
aware of the problem, and we watched the pilot, horrified. What would he do?
After a moment of contemplation, the pilot hurried to the back of the plane.
He returned holding a big axe. Without ceremony, he proceeded to chop down
the cockpit door. We were rooted to our seats as we watched him. Once he
managed to chop a hole in the door, he reached inside, unlocked the door, and
let himself back in. Then he came on the loudspeaker, his voice a little
shakier this time than before. 'Ah, ladies and gentlemen, we just had a
little problem there, but everything is fine now. We have plans to cover
every eventuality, even pilots getting locked out of their cockpits. So
relax and enjoy the rest of the flight!
------------------
Addicted to airline miles? Check out: The Airline Mileage Workshop
Sep 13, 1999, 8:56 am
#3
Join Date: Jan 1999
Location: Too many
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Posts: 5,761
Amusing, but a hoax. See the correction the Tribune published the next day, or check out this month's issue of Brill's Content. They have a quote from someone at Air Zimbabwe who was, shall we say, less than amused.