Oh, LOL....I don't turn down upgrades.

I have a feeling this is a double standard where people are OK with the wife leaving husband in Y, but not the other way around?

I will always give my wife the option, usually she will take it but not always. I love to travel no matter in coach or upfront just like to be on the move.

Since we are usually flying with our toddler in arms we have a rule that if we only get one upgrade the person who takes it also takes the toddler. It hasn't happened so far but I was really hoping he'd end up in F with her on the last trip. She has a think about trying to be under the F seats, never tries it in Y.

You have the option of giving your hubby the upgrade/swapping seats after you board. If I had a hubby or SO who didn't get to experience biz or first class very often & I did, I'd offer it up to him, especially if the flight is only 2-3 hours long. Won't kill you to be in E for that time frame. If it doesn't matter to him about F vs E & he's going to sleep that's one thing, but doesn't hurt to make the offer.

FWIW - I've also done that w/ my sister. We didn't travel together very often (and her job didn't involve travel; mine had me on the road all the time w/ a pretty strong upgrade success %), but when we did I'd either try to get her upgraded along w/ me, or offer her the first seat & I took coach if only one upgrade was available. One year I gave her an int'l award ticket. She thought it was going to be in economy. I booked her int'l F, bought my ticket in E, & upgraded to C.

Cheers.

I think this might be our happy medium...I try for the upgrade, but take the toddler too.

DH rarely flies, but last time he slept through a meal service and I swore I wasn't wasting stickers oon him again.

This seems a little over the top. Why should you both have to take off your shoes just to wind up in the same place? Better to give all the carryons to the fast track person.

Different cabins, is another issue. When booking awards I grab what's available and this can sometimes be a mix of INTL F and INTL J. In that case we split the difference and one flies in F each way.

We are grown ups, and don't have to sit next to each other let alone in the same cabin. If one of us gets upgraded, we consider it a partial win.

If we manage to get only 1 upgrade, I give it to my wife. Our more common scenario is booking a mix of paid and award seats: that sometimes puts her in F and everyone else in Y as well.

No problems splitting up at security. I can often go through the Precheck line with our kids and most/all of the carryons, leaving my wife's process simpler than it would be otherwise.

I cannot wait to see you on the TV show "Divorce Court"

This makes me happy we both have PreCheck.

Me? Or another poster?

My spouse is 6'3 and big (think ex-football player). The one time only one of us could be upgraded I gave it to him and he took it. Karma took care of the rest as I got upgraded at the last minute after he had already boarded. But I wouldn't have minded if I didn't, he is so uncomfortable in coach.

This last is me. I am 6'-5" and SO is 5'-6". It makes little sense to cram me into a Y seat when J is available. If I offered, she would refuse. I don't understand the posters who talk about divorce court over a seat upgrade.

�Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.� Erica Jong.

He gets upgrade. I am short, he is tall. I'd rather sleep across the water on two or three coach seats when available. Similarly at biz dinner events we ask organizer for seats at different tables. If we wanted to sit next to and talk to each other we'd stay home.

We do it from time to time. Definitely take one upgrade versus holding out for two and having both people in Y. Our relationship has survived 15 years that way and I'm sure there are many more years to come where this will be, by far, the smallest challenge we face.