I started to cry half way through the OP. Made me reexamine my life. Couldn't finish. Things must change.

Some people are determined to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and I'm not sure why.

Maybe it's a height thing? Seriously, for some of us, coach seats just do not fit.

I recently stranded my wife in coach while I enjoyed biz. I felt terrible about it, and I really pushed for an upgrade for her, but I still took the upgrade. I offered it to her, but I'm 8 inches taller, so we both knew I'd take it.

12 years and 1300 posts on FT later, the OP realized that upgrades are not a panacea for life.....

I don't think I ever have.

I assume this happens due to frequent flyer status, etc.

My upgrades on AA/UA generally clear at the 4 day'sh mark in advance. I suspect I can plan my meals accordingly on those flights.

I can relate a 'lil to what OP is referring to in that there are some downsides of "upgrades". Most of my travels are domestic and although I appreciate the upgrade to FC when I get it, I do not value (flight upgrades) as much as most who post here.

For cars I have often been Comp "upgraded" to a full size Crown Vic or mini or full size Vans when just traveling by myself. Sucks to park them in many hotel parking lots that I frequent (I turn them down if I have the choice, but sometimes that is all they have left).

For flights, If I know ahead of time that I am upgraded, I appreciate it much more then a last minute upgrade at the gate (after I already bought lunch). If the later and given a bulkhead seat it can be a minor problem storing a laptop since first has already boarded, then I find out when I board (not knowing I was upgraded) and find the overhead bins towards the front of the plane are already full - plus I just prefer the legroom in coach exit row seats vice most first bulkhead seats.

For hotels, upgrades are always better unless the "upgrade" is for a handicapped room and one is not handicapped. For those of us who stay at HH properties I have yet to see any advantage (or disadvantaged) of being "upgraded" to the Executive Floor (with exception to my stay in Curacao where I had the most excellent view).

I've had two times I can remember, both on short flights, that I asked someone to take my F seat in return for their Y seat. I had no problem either time I never dread the upgrade.

Is your concern the cost of the additional gas or the negative impact on the environment?

Well, OP, we're all entitled to our own opinions, and you're certainly entitled to having and sharing yours.

I only hope that please, please, please more folks will come around and see things your way...especially the ones who happen to take the same flights and stay at the same hotels as I do.

As an optimist, I'd like to call it 'the upside of downgrades'

If I have a large group of people or am carrying large objects, I'll want a big car. If I'm by myself, I want a small car. The companies give you an �upgrade� when they are out of the car you reserved. It may or may not be what you prefer.

The airlines, on the other hand, now seem to assume that everyone �wants� an upgrade. In the past, they dealt with upgrade requests. I guess the new system is easier for them. I�ve gotten upgrades I didn�t ask for from four airlines, but mostly United now. When United adopted the UDU (now CPU) system, flyertalk had a poll. I don�t remember the exact vote, but there was a considerable fraction of people unhappy with the new system for a variety of reasons. Twice I went through the slight hassle of trying to remove myself from the upgrade list. It didn�t succeed. I won�t bother again. I certainly understand why a large or tall person would want the extra space. The world is really a better place if they get the larger seat and I don�t. But the other perks of upgrades (unpredictable meals, better magazine selection, someone hanging up a coat, great service (?), sitting in front of a curtain, bragging rights, ???, �); I don�t get why they are so desirable.

Some posters assume you can always trade your upgrade. One time my wife and I traded seats. She was challenged by the flight attendant. It made her feel just uncomfortable enough that she will never take it again.
I agree that not getting my window seat, or not sitting with family are not important problems in life. In every airline forum I checked, there are 250 threads with �upgrade� in the title, and most of the concerns there seem similarly trivial.

I note that I've been hit with a clever retort in this thread that I can only assume is some reference to a song or something from popular culture. I regret that I don't understand it.

I can definitely sympathize with many of your points. I'm a pretty small guy, so the extra room in FC doesn't really benefit me much, but the only time I regretted getting upgraded was on a red-eye to JFK when I got seated next to a guy in FC that had an incredibly awful bout of gas. I also find that the first class seats are typically much more worn (since they are always filled) compared to economy, especially the fresh, new economy comfort seats on Delta. I'm usually too rushed to eat when I am traveling, so I do appreciate the meals and service in FC when I do get upgraded. Usually my meal consists of an emergency energy bar in economy when I realize that I forgot to eat and start starving to death.

I mostly travel for leisure, so the upgrade to a full-size car when it's just me can mean hundreds of dollars in additional gas expenses.

The OP didn't (originally) specify the program (and it sounds like multiple programs anyway, perhaps).

Some programs give you automatic upgrades without you requesting them, if you have enough status.

(Note that all the expereicnes the OP related were on either domestic or short-haul Europe. The OP never talked about longhaul upgrades where you may get IFE that's not available to coach, where you may get a flat bed instead of just a slighly reclining seat, etc.)

AA still does it that way (at least for Gold and Plat, and even EXPs can still uncheck the upgrades I think though they may default checked now). AA Gold and Plat have to use preciuos "stickers" for upgrades, and thus want to be able to choose which flights to (try to) use htem on and which flights not to use them on.

There's an easy solution for your dislike of automatic upgrades. Stop flying just one airline all the time. You'll have low status on lots of airlines rather than high status on one. Most of your upgrades will go to someone with higher status, problem solved! (And, in turn,you're realize that upgrades at different airline work differently, so you won't write posts on FT that make it sound like they all works the same just because you don' t have a varied enough experience.)