Thanks so much for this post. I found the thread you originally posted, it makes on of the most enjoyable reads that I've ever had on FT.
^

Several tears ago was on a flight that had to circle for a while because the airport was closed due to thunderstorms. On landing I called the airline to find out the status of my connection. After I get off the phone, the passenger next to me tells me this must be a really bad airline if I have the number programmed into my phone.

After all the posts about self-upgrades, I have to wonder how DL misses obvious clues.

On a recent (non-DL) flight, we lost an engine shortly after reaching cruising altitude, and the captain came on the PA to announce we would be returning. At this point I was forced to borrow from Ron White to answer my seatmate's question.

Seatmate: How far can we get on one engine?

Max: All the way to the scene of the crash.

You know you travel too much when:
 

You call the front desk of the hotel and ask - where am I and getting the answer, Room 2115 and then needing to clarify - No, not the room, the city.

Freudian slip? :D

my sister relayed this story from a recent HPN-FLL (non-DL, obv) flight.

Two pax sit down near her and as the boarding door closes, one turns to the other and says, "is this the part where we have to take our shoes off?"

funny part is, they actually did.

Yes, that's why the title of my post says that the person knew languages but not geography.

I could also point out that if they had checked the airline on my boarding pass, instead of just noticing the KLM stock, they would have seen a USA legacy carrier that is well known in AMS and should have guessed that it was a flight to North America.

I was flying AA LHR to MIA sat next to whom I figured was the world's stupidest woman.

The skymap was showing us just coming down the coast of FL near Palm Beach when she woke up, having slept most of the flight, 5 mins later and we are over FLL.

She: Will this plane drop me off in Fort Lauderdale?
Me: It might do, you'll have to ask the flight attendant and see if he will speak to the pilot. (I so wish she had done)

Then the plane flies straight over FLL

She: Where is this plane going to?
Me: Miami (wondering how you can get on a plane and not know where it is going)
She: But I need to go to Fort Lauderdale, my friends are meeting me there
Me: Ah you should have mentioned that earlier
She: When?
Me: Either when you bought your tickets to another airport or when you told your friends which airport they should meet you at.

She pulls out her phone and doesn't get a signal, then the flight connections come up on the screen, the second page has only Tallahassee on it at which point she looks up.

She: Is this plane going to Tallahassee?
Me: Yes I think it is.

Hmm... I tried to pick just one, but in the end I think I have to nominate about 98% of the posts on the Delta blog as dumbest comments...

That's not the reason I'm always delayed getting into ATL?

No, the reason you are always delayed getting into ATL, is that you are connecting in ATL!!

Not a Pax but a car
 

Back in the day when "talking" cars were first appearing, I had just arrived in my rental car after a red eye from LAX to ATL. I had driven to the hotel for a quick shower and change and as I opened the door with the key in the ignition, the car announces "The door is ajar." Seeing how it was a very spooky parking lot, I immediately closed and locked the door, fearing in my foggy brain there was someone lurking nearby to do me a Grievous Bodily Harm.

This scenario repeated n times before I figured out the car was irritated that I left the key in the ignition whilst trying to exit and was in its best official voice, telling me to take the $%&* key out before opening the door.

Every time I get a stupid request from someone, I am always reminded that some things are poorly programmed, including a small number of the public like those described in this thread.;)

Cheers

Twice I woke up in hotels and had to check the phone book in the top drawer to figure out where I was. (Once I was in Nashua, once I was in Sacramento.) Saves the shame of having to admit to another human being that you've actually forgotten where you are. :D

Another hotel story. On me this time.

I once was an off the street walk-in and asked the front desk, "Good evening! Do you have a free room for tonight?"

"No sir, you will have to pay for it."

Served me right...