My thought was that if the screener is forcing me to share something of mine that's "personal", then he ought to be forced to do something in kind in return. And since I wouldn't care to see his junk or play "grabby, grabby" with it, I figured that a bit of information that many consider personal might serve as a good substitute...

I'm straight and I thought of doing that regardless. :D If they make me uncomfortable, I can make them just as uncomfortable.

How about, "I'm afraid I don't understand what you're describing well enough to give informed consent. Can you demonstrate on one of your co-workers?"

Me like your comment. I am going to use that.:D

An innocent, well placed, throaty, productive (if possible, especially during cold/flu season) cough at just the right moment could thoroughly disgust someone. Just saying.

I was thinking of a well-timed gas discharge from another orifice. Taco Bell is your friend. ;)

Be careful, my Depends are leaking!

That or have a power smoothie made with flax seed (freshly ground). It would give taco H E double hockey sticks a run for its money.

I like where this is going. Okay, how about a broccolli omellete with a side of frijoles washed down with a protein shake an hour before showtime? Then go all Peter Griffin on the bastages.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX4cGhQW5Ec

rotflol!!! :cool::p:eek::D^^^

I'd love to see the reaction of a screening clerk if this happened! lol

Before my last flight, my wife was done with the groping before mine had begun, so I asked her if the guy was good looking enough to make it a threesome. I don't think the TSA groper got it, but she and I had a good laugh. As he rubbed me down, I kept telling him, ooooh that feels good. He kept rubbing harder each time I said it --- actually to the point that it did feel good.

What a creeper! Clerks like that should not be doing the rub downs. :eek: ew!

To answer the thread title's question, before playing with my genitals, TSA should...

1. Provide an attractive screener.
2. Said screener should buy me a drink and whisper sweet nothings to me.

The last two days at DEN have been very interesting in that respect. There has been a lot more LEO stand ups for patdowns. A lot more irate people. One person said that we need to be specific in our advisals and include the word balls. One today just said this is efing bs. So much so that he almost did not get to continue. It started at the AIT when his cold start met me head on and I asked if he wanted to opt out. I believe that it is only a matter of time before before this really escalates into something that no one wants.

Excellent news! Do they call for a LEO just to have one there, or have they had specific reasons?