I was going through BWI the other day after 7 pm. With all the added security, I try to avoid peak hour travelling and opt for later flights. As I go through the metal detector, I make a crooked walk through it, the TSA officer says to walk back and try again. I do and this time it's accepted, she then asks me to go through the Body Scan, at which an officer there says I've been randomly selected, do I know what it is, what it does. I reply yes to all of his questions. He then gives me an option saying I can have a body scan or for an alternative, get a pat down from an officer. I say yes I would prefer the body scan. All of this took probably a minute, which is good for me because I don't like my stuff waiting in trays possibly being swiped by strangers.

Question for the board is would you take the pat down or the body scan?

I personally would take the body scan because being pat down by a complete stranger is probably the most intrusive thing the TSA could do to me, and I've never had it done to me ever by the TSA. I've got nothing to hide and I don't really cares if my body image isn't deleted.

Pat down. Either degrades me, but at least the pat down degrades someone who works for the TSA.

I've gotten the whole TSA pat down treatment several times (15-30x) and really don't care for it at all. This is a lesser of two evils thing. Crotch grab or video strip search? If those were the only two choices offered me I'd probably opt for the video strip search because that way the TSOs wouldn't be treating me as a new arrival to the local lockup.

What happens if you can't raise your arm above your body for the scanner? I have a disability with my right arm and it's next to impossible for me to raise it up. Would that preclude me from using the scanner and force me to be patted down? I don't relish getting a pat down. I'm going out of town in a couple of weeks and this has been rattling around the sphere. Just a question to throw out there.

Neither, I'd go to a civilised country instead

Ahh, but the digital strip search never ends. With a pat down, you know when it starts and stops, but the images taken by the KiddiePorn Generator can be stored, transmitted and shared forever.

True, but I'd never want to ball up my fists and stomp new one on the WBI viewer. FYI, there were more than a few "what do you think you're doing" moments when I got the grope by TSOs and yes they responded with the 'do you want to fly today' threat. Not professional on their part to reach down the front of my jeans either, but that happened as well.

Unfortunately, it probably makes you perfect grope material.

The strip search machine can go to you know where.

In Canada, they will be offering either, personally I prefer the pat down, might as well make them earn there money, not that I have a problem with the scan.

NO WBI "Strip Search" for me.

Now if some TSA employee wants to feel me up then have at it.

Here's the best way I've found to deal with pat-down searches. The trick is to leverage the TSA guy's own insecurities in order to wind them up as tightly as possible, thus paying them back for performing these unAmerican searches to begin with.

Before anything starts, request the groper to change his gloves. He will do so, albeit begrudgingly.

The pat down always begins with the groper's spiel about how and where he's going to touch you and making sure that's OK with you. This is your que to say, So long as there is nothing sexual involved, then ok.

You are saying this in the knowledge that the groper is most likely a heterosexual with a deep-seated, high school lockerroom-like fear of being labeled 'queer'. He will visibly flinch at your saying this. One of two things will then happen. He will either involuntarily blurt-out, "I'm not gay"; or he will say nothing.

-If he says "I'm not gay" or something along those lines, this is your que to talk about how it doesn't matter to you, that certain types are attracted to certain jobs, and how it is common knowledge that most TSA screeners are gay, and how you don't care at all because we're all the same no matter who we fall in love with.

-If he says nothing, talk about how much you love your wife/girlfriend and how you're 'just not that way', that you have lots of gay friends and you respect their lifestyle and they respect yours, and how it is common knowledge that most TSA screeners are gay, and how you don't care at all because we're all the same no matter who we fall in love with.

I cannot stress how important it is to keep a straight face while you're saying all of this. You need to appear to be sincere. Otherwise it just won't be as effective.

Half the time the groper will get so angry that he'll call over his supervisor, something you tell him you wholeheartedly approve of to make sure there is no 'funny business' when he's touching you.

After all is said and done, you'll have seriously ruined a TSA groper's day and you'll feel less gross about being felt up in the name of security theater.

I have my first flight under the "new rules" on Tuesday, and I will opt for the pat down, no WBI for me.

I was thinking of explaining that my doctor has instructed me to have no unnecessary radiation, and by the way I am immune-suppressed so please change your gloves, and also I have had medical treatments that have made certain parts of my body extremely sensitive, so don't press hard there or it will hurt and I might cry out in pain.

But maybe I like BillScann's "gay/lesbian script" better and will try that.

I am flying out of RDU for the first time in decades, so it is unfamiliar territory; I'll leave extra early. Should I bring gum and offer it to the screener?

I LOL'ed pretty hard.

+1 Love it!