I'm Moving In!!!
Apr 24, 2001 | 7:32 pm
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Vancouver - UA 1K, Hilton Diamond, Starwood Platinum, Hyatt Diamond
Posts: 550
I'm Moving In!!!
Well, if this Save InnPoints campaign is ever going to really get off the ground, it needs someone here 24/7. Keeping the fires burning as they say... So, I'm going to put my bed here, my bottle cap collection over here and stories to start inflating the post count right over here...
Apr 24, 2001 | 7:33 pm
#2
Original Poster
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Vancouver - UA 1K, Hilton Diamond, Starwood Platinum, Hyatt Diamond
Posts: 550
OK. Imagine your best friend and you are both 8 years old. You race each other home to your house after school to find your dad finishing the installation of a state-of-the-art garage door opener. This thing is slick Push a button it goes up, push the button before it gets to the top and it stops, push the button again and it goes back down. Emergency release tether (which you are to short to reach), REMOTE CONTROL!!! (Our VCR still had a cable to the remote) and best of all This is the real amazing part if it hits something when it is going down, it senses it, and goes back up!!! Child Proof!!!
Holly smokes this is cool!!! The questions race through your head so, you fire questions at your dad faster than you can think of them
Q) What if it hits you? A) It goes back up
Q) What if it hits a dog? A) It goes back up
Q) What if it hits your hand? A) It goes back up
Q) What if it hits a worm? A) It will probably squish it
Q) What if you drive into it? A) Stay away from my car
At this point, Dad has a headache, makes sure he has his car keys and family dog and goes inside leaving you with your friend and a child proof, state-of-the-art garage door. What do you do next? Well, heres what I did
Push the button, it goes downcool but boring. Push the button again and it goes back up, still, cool but boring Lets take this baby for a little test drive Push the button and stick your foot under it Sure enough, goes down, pushes on it pretty hard but goes back up, very little pain. Of course your friend wants to try it too, works for him. Now the confidence level is coming up. Well, finally, I lay down under it and tell my buddy to push the button. Door goes down, pushes pretty hard on my chest, some pain, but goes back up. My Turn, he says.
Well, as the door went down I got an idea. The door went down and pushed on his chest, and just as it started to go back up, I pushed the button. This caused the door to stop, pinning my friend under it. I danced around a little, throwing things at him and poking him in the head. Fun stuff, things fond childhood memories are made of. He told me he would get me for this, bla bla bla. So finally I decided to let him up.
I had the best intensions to let him free, but this is where things went horribly wrong. Because the door had just started to head up when I pushed the button, the next direction of travel was back down. This was unbeknownst to me, so I pushed the button. Grrrrrrrrrrr, went the little electric motor as it struggled to complete its journey downward (See, the brilliant engineers who designed this Child Proof, state-of-the-art garage door made one mistake, it wasnt idiot proof!!!) We figured out the hard way that the door needs to travel some distance before if can sense an object and change direction. Because it was already pushing on his chest, it couldnt tell the difference. Well, I dont know if you have ever seen how flexible the chest bones of an 8 year old are, but I did, and let me tell you, it is scary!!! My friend is trying to yell but has no air in his lungs, Im in a panic because I was grounded for a week when I was late for dinner (I could only imagine what the punishment for killing a neighborhood kid would be) and his chest is doing its best impression of a pancake. I tried to jump up and grab the emergency release tether (No wonder I never played basketball) to no avail. Finally, after what seemed like and eternity, the door started going ding ding ding as the chain started skipping over the drive wheel, the whole engine started rattling and banging and the door finally sensed a well squished, yet barely alive young boy under it. It was music to my ears as the door finally changed direction and released my poor friend.
Well, he was pretty sore and had the wind knocked out of him so he was in no mood to fight (Lucky for me). But what he said when he finally was finally able to speak I will never forget OK, Your turn I might have fallen off the turnip truck, but it wasnt yesterday. I politely declined his invitation and asked him not to tell my parents. He agreed because he was to scared of what our parents would do if they found out how stupid we were. So, he went home, probably with severe internal injuries and I thought how lucky I was that he didnt think of it first, cuz, man, that could have been me!!!
So what is the moral of the story, Save InnPoints!!! What have they ever done to you?
Holly smokes this is cool!!! The questions race through your head so, you fire questions at your dad faster than you can think of them
Q) What if it hits you? A) It goes back up
Q) What if it hits a dog? A) It goes back up
Q) What if it hits your hand? A) It goes back up
Q) What if it hits a worm? A) It will probably squish it
Q) What if you drive into it? A) Stay away from my car
At this point, Dad has a headache, makes sure he has his car keys and family dog and goes inside leaving you with your friend and a child proof, state-of-the-art garage door. What do you do next? Well, heres what I did
Push the button, it goes downcool but boring. Push the button again and it goes back up, still, cool but boring Lets take this baby for a little test drive Push the button and stick your foot under it Sure enough, goes down, pushes on it pretty hard but goes back up, very little pain. Of course your friend wants to try it too, works for him. Now the confidence level is coming up. Well, finally, I lay down under it and tell my buddy to push the button. Door goes down, pushes pretty hard on my chest, some pain, but goes back up. My Turn, he says.
Well, as the door went down I got an idea. The door went down and pushed on his chest, and just as it started to go back up, I pushed the button. This caused the door to stop, pinning my friend under it. I danced around a little, throwing things at him and poking him in the head. Fun stuff, things fond childhood memories are made of. He told me he would get me for this, bla bla bla. So finally I decided to let him up.
I had the best intensions to let him free, but this is where things went horribly wrong. Because the door had just started to head up when I pushed the button, the next direction of travel was back down. This was unbeknownst to me, so I pushed the button. Grrrrrrrrrrr, went the little electric motor as it struggled to complete its journey downward (See, the brilliant engineers who designed this Child Proof, state-of-the-art garage door made one mistake, it wasnt idiot proof!!!) We figured out the hard way that the door needs to travel some distance before if can sense an object and change direction. Because it was already pushing on his chest, it couldnt tell the difference. Well, I dont know if you have ever seen how flexible the chest bones of an 8 year old are, but I did, and let me tell you, it is scary!!! My friend is trying to yell but has no air in his lungs, Im in a panic because I was grounded for a week when I was late for dinner (I could only imagine what the punishment for killing a neighborhood kid would be) and his chest is doing its best impression of a pancake. I tried to jump up and grab the emergency release tether (No wonder I never played basketball) to no avail. Finally, after what seemed like and eternity, the door started going ding ding ding as the chain started skipping over the drive wheel, the whole engine started rattling and banging and the door finally sensed a well squished, yet barely alive young boy under it. It was music to my ears as the door finally changed direction and released my poor friend.
Well, he was pretty sore and had the wind knocked out of him so he was in no mood to fight (Lucky for me). But what he said when he finally was finally able to speak I will never forget OK, Your turn I might have fallen off the turnip truck, but it wasnt yesterday. I politely declined his invitation and asked him not to tell my parents. He agreed because he was to scared of what our parents would do if they found out how stupid we were. So, he went home, probably with severe internal injuries and I thought how lucky I was that he didnt think of it first, cuz, man, that could have been me!!!
So what is the moral of the story, Save InnPoints!!! What have they ever done to you?
May 1, 2001 | 12:44 am
#5
Original Poster
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Vancouver - UA 1K, Hilton Diamond, Starwood Platinum, Hyatt Diamond
Posts: 550
Ok, I plan to write the next segment of my life story but I thought, why not give the people a choice, so here it is, your options.
The categories are....(drum roll)
Shut up Idiot, (Not a story, if you don't want anymore stupid stories)
Stuck in the ditch
Glove on the head
Learning to ride
Talking computer
Letter to the class
(Voting stops on Wednesday, May 2nd at 5pm.)
Two more for the list.... Late brain storms
Upsidedown in the river
Boat load of branches
(I might need to extend the Voting time.....much lighter turn out than expected)
Guess everyone is over in La Quinta!!!
[This message has been edited by Village Idiot (edited 05-02-2001).]
The categories are....(drum roll)
Shut up Idiot, (Not a story, if you don't want anymore stupid stories)
Stuck in the ditch
Glove on the head
Learning to ride
Talking computer
Letter to the class
(Voting stops on Wednesday, May 2nd at 5pm.)
Two more for the list.... Late brain storms
Upsidedown in the river
Boat load of branches
(I might need to extend the Voting time.....much lighter turn out than expected)
Guess everyone is over in La Quinta!!!
[This message has been edited by Village Idiot (edited 05-02-2001).]
May 1, 2001 | 8:05 am
#7
Community Director Emerita
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Anywhere warm
Posts: 35,604
I'm getting visions of Howey Mandel with a surgical glove on his head, singing "Its my Party and I'll Cry if I Want Too." I second chexfan's vote. I'm eagerly awaiting what comes next after performing defribillation on friend's chest with a garage door.
May 1, 2001 | 1:23 pm
#9
Original Poster
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Vancouver - UA 1K, Hilton Diamond, Starwood Platinum, Hyatt Diamond
Posts: 550
THATS IT?!? 3 VOTES in 12 hours!!! And all of the votes from the same Chuckle Heads I pay to laugh at my jokes!!! I am really slipping.
Time to re-think my entire entertainment plan.
Time to re-think my entire entertainment plan.
May 1, 2001 | 1:41 pm
#10
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: West Seattle, WA
Posts: 10,469
Originally posted by Village Idiot:
THATS IT?!? 3 VOTES in 12 hours!!! And all of the votes from the same Chuckle Heads I pay to laugh at my jokes!!!
THATS IT?!? 3 VOTES in 12 hours!!! And all of the votes from the same Chuckle Heads I pay to laugh at my jokes!!!
You really are an Idiot,huh? That was SanDiego1K's first post with us at InnPoints. Way to make him/her feel welcomed!
S/He isn't quite up to "Chuckle Head" status... yet![This message has been edited by chexfan (edited 05-01-2001).]
May 1, 2001 | 4:21 pm
#13
Community Director Emerita
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Anywhere warm
Posts: 35,604
Village Idiot, your charming apology is accepted. And, thanks, chexfanfor seeing that we got it. For a moment, it looked as if the boys weren't going to let flyerwife and I play in the InnPoints sandbox - just like preschool!
May 1, 2001 | 11:22 pm
#15
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: New York USA
Posts: 2,933
just to give the village idiot something else to stress about, I vote for
stuck in the ditch
simply because I myself happen to have a stuck in the ditch story (2 actually, now that I think about it) which are far too painful and way too embarrassing for me to ever disclose in public.
And no, my friend VI , no prodding or coaxing by you will ever get me to reveal either story. However, I have great confidence that your stuck in the ditch story will be much more entertainig than mine, so....... maybe you will just have to tell ALL of your tales of woe.
Let's all sit back and enjoy.........
stuck in the ditch
simply because I myself happen to have a stuck in the ditch story (2 actually, now that I think about it) which are far too painful and way too embarrassing for me to ever disclose in public.
And no, my friend VI , no prodding or coaxing by you will ever get me to reveal either story. However, I have great confidence that your stuck in the ditch story will be much more entertainig than mine, so....... maybe you will just have to tell ALL of your tales of woe.
Let's all sit back and enjoy.........