just to give the village idiot something else to stress about, I vote for
stuck in the ditch
simply because I myself happen to have a stuck in the ditch story (2 actually, now that I think about it) which are far too painful and way too embarrassing for me to ever disclose in public.
And no, my friend VI , no prodding or coaxing by you will ever get me to reveal either story. However, I have great confidence that your stuck in the ditch story will be much more entertainig than mine, so....... maybe you will just have to tell ALL of your tales of woe.
Let's all sit back and enjoy.........