OK, here it is, the story. Well, not the story but my excuses for not having the story.

1) Having Girl problems and am a little distracted!!! (I think I am getting played!!!) She shows interest, then... nothing. I'm so confused...


2) I went to court this morning to dispute a speeding ticket and lost. Then the Officer made a submission to have my license suspended for one month. The Judge said no, but then said this to me..."If I see you in my court in the next few months and you loose again... Bring bus fare, cuz you won't be driving anywhere."

3) After this near miss, I called my office to find out when my next court date is (Still have 2 more outstanding tickets). My assistant said, "No, I don't see anyth.... Oh, wait. Whoops. You have another one tomorrow." To make it worse, I called the court office and I'm back in court with the same judge, same time tomorrow. I am so dead.

4) So, here I am, 19 hours away from the end of my life. I live 1 hour from work at 160km/h (posted speed limit is between 50km/h and 100km/h). I don't do well on public transportation (I'll get beaten up for my lunch money). If I lose my license I can't rent vehicles while on the road. IS THERE A LAWYER IN THE HOUSE?!?!?!?!

5) I'm trying to decide whether to go into court and commit Hara-Kiri on the judges bench or just bend over and take my beating like a man? I'm opting for the temporary insanity plea (or maybe just plain old Insanity).

6) This is my 250th post, and I wanted to make sure the story was good. But as you said AnnaS, why start now. Oh well. For those of you who need your fix... Here is some old mindless drivel of mine. Hope it'll tide you over.
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/Forum50/HTML/005572.html

Sorry for you UA people who have already seen this one. "Exploding Can of Soup" is coming, I promise, it just that Geo1004 didn't like the "Glass of Lemonade" very much, so I'm trying to live up to his impossible standards.

oh yeah, IS THERE A LAWYER IN THE HOUSE?!?!?!?!?

How'd the court date go VI, hope everything went well. Are you still driving??

Hey! I can't see anything. It sure is dark in here. What is this oh %$@&%^&#$. Who the #$*& left this thing here. I don't even know what it is cause it's so dark I can't oh wait my eyes were closed. Nevermind.

Anyway, I just came in to let everyone know that it's not worth making something idiot proof 'cause they'll just come out with a new improved idiot. I also wanted a hot dog but my toe hurts so much now I'm not hungry any more.

BTW, I'm not officially an idiot, but a jester, which is kinda like an apprentice idiot. See
AIR CANADA HIRES KEN HAMER AS OFFICIAL JESTER.

Also see Jester.

For a lark, a bunch of us at the YVR FT dinner wrapped Village Idiot up in his paper bag. I guess someone should check up on him as he hasn't been seen recently. Perhaps is still in the bag?

I heard the odds were 3:2 in favor of the bag.

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[This message has been edited by chexfan (edited 05-23-2001).]

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[This message has been edited by chexfan (edited 05-23-2001).]

I heard Vegas had 3:2 odds on the bag!

Now, now, Mr. Smith, don't be so hard on yourself. We all thought it was a good idea. Who knew we were that close to the harbor?

CocoaNut

And who could have calculated that his massive belt buckle would make him sink like a rock?