Last week, I go to eat and was suprised to pick up my knife and realize it was plastic. Holding my stainless steal fork in the other hand, I think - they remove the rounded table knife yet they leave the fork with 4, 2-inch long metal spikes.

And another thing - They search checked luggage for what??? bombs and weapons the security guard told me. I replied that weapons, including handguns, are legal in checked luggage. So, I guess they were looking for bombs.

I am not a chemist or pyrotechnist but a gather that explosive materials come in many forms and colors. Could the bag checkers even spot explosive material if they found it? On top of that, they don't even look in all the places you can hide it. What do they think, someone with explosives is going to place it in the obvious places? What about inside the toothpaste? or bottle of talc powder? or sewn into the lining of dirty underware?

And I thought the security was to prevent hijackings. Obviously, a bomb in the checked luggage will not aide the hijackers very much.

Did someone say free beer?????

Greggwiggins: Please come to the next local FT happy hour!!!!!

As for the Portland Brew Fest, well feel free to visit my website, portland****ingsucks.com

Obviously the security in the dinky CIC airport is aware of this tactic. How else could we explain why the UA security screener/baggage handler/prop refueler got such great pleasure from taking my dirty lingerie out of my carry-on bag and handling it when I went through on Wednesday?

All of the individuals in the little "secure" pre-boarding room now know what type of delicates I wear.

And here I thought the guy was just a pervert!

He is. I wonder just how many pervs working ariport security are loving their last few months on the job. I mean, they can frisk all the pretty women who go by, they can look at your lacy stuff that they normally only get to see from the Victoria's Secret catalog, and so on.