Sent to me from my mother, culled from Dale Dauten's column in today's Arizona Republic:

Small rear, large bladder,
Full fare, low expectations:
Perfect passenger!

Grow small! Stunt your legs;
Shrivel your arms. Smaller still!
Human Bonsai tree.

Pretend you have
Tyrannosaurus Rex arms.
Smile. Wave. Neighbors shrink!

Angels of the aisles,
Who decides when manna falls?
A whole can of Coke.

The three carry-ons:
Large, overhead; small, beneath;
Lumpy you between

------------------
Addicted to airline miles? Check out: Mileage Workshop

I wait, I watch the bags
go by. Here is the blue one
again. But not mine.


A name is called. The
lucky winner smirks and boards.
No upgrade for me.


"Here is your seatbelt"
I may use it to hang myself.
Seven hours in coach.

____________________________

Just thought I'd get these in before someone points out that this is not the Haiku Forum.

The weather's fine here,
and where we're going. Three words:
Air Traffic Control.

In accordance with
FAA regulations,
"Have a lousy day".

Seat is grabbed once more
By oaf sitting behind me
Dreams of choking him

Eagerly checking
Bonus miles have yet to post
Cold disappointment

Pre-boarding is called
First class, children, extra time
A stampede ensues

Warm peanuts, cold beer
Twenty planes in front of us.
Cold peanuts, warm beer.

Who's in first? It's not
me. Outranked again by a
Platinum Elite.

Loud man on cellphone:
"Guess where I am calling from!"
Upgraded Newbie.

Two days traveling,
Twenty hours in Hong Kong, the
Chase for Gold is on.

(not really flying-related but ....)

Stock Market is closed.
All managers in Hamptons,
Peons in office.


[This message has been edited by CozumelJen (edited 07-03-2001).]

Violent tremors
A child's entertainment
Stop kicking my seat!

In front, caviar.
In back, some chopped-up fish bits.
Economy stinks.

"For your comfort, we ask . . ."
"For your safety, please return . . ."
(Sit down and shut up.)

Birds sing, and we wake.
Crickets chirp while we slumber.
Call chimes merely jar.

While you sit thirsty,
Behind the curtain they ask,
"Cristal or Cliquot?"

Wise men must travel
Like a bird, unencumbered.
Their bags went to Rome.

------------------
"If you want to win the game, write the rules."

No topic, posted by "1", who is unregistered?

I just had to come and see what this thread was that can't be clicked on. I thought it might be some sort of special secret method of exchanging information on topics that we dare not talk about in public.

Glad to see it's something better than that.

A secret topic! Cool.

curiosity

What's wrong with this picture?
You, up there...
You're in my seat
This isn't fair

I was on the waitlist
And near the top
When the filling of seats
Unfortunately stopped

I can take solace
Some kind, anyway
That also disappointed
Were Platinums (no way!)

Sucks to be them
And sucks to be me
Flying in coach
And needing to pee

Avoiding the bathroom
Well, the line forming there
I'd rather sit quietly
Fighting bladder despair

With my body surrounded
By constraints in a space
That has me contorted
Who designed this cramped place?!

Midgets or small people
Undoubtedly, it seems
Who else would do this?
Sadistic engineering teams?

If I could just move my leg
Without hitting the seat
In front of me here
My day'd be complete

If I could just move my arm
Without tapping that of
The guy sitting next to me
Whose response is a shove

The world would so be
A much better place
If coach cabins had
More realistic space

To accommodate bodies
Belonging to those
Of our genus and species
As they sit and repose

Let alone as they try
To recline and "push back"
Into the lap of a stranger
Who unwelcomes the "attack"

Or try using a tray table
With long, folded legs
Thy knee, oh, my
For mercy, it begs

A space-fill solution
Not tried, though extreme
Might resolve various aspects
Though unsafe, one would deem

Are the consequences to those
Not members of teams
Whose training was cheerleading
(Human pyramidal schemes)

Remember Volkswagen antics?
Or the phone booths so filled?
By layers of humanity
Whose specialty or skill

Was to maximize the use
Of limited space
Alongside the bodies
Of others, interlaced--?

Perhaps we should try this
The next time in back--?
To maximize the use
Of space--we'll just stack!

At least we could stretch
And have our legs "free"
But there are "complications"
I suppose, you'd agree...

Giving new meanings to "layover"
Was not my intent
Of this monologue-istic
Diatribe of dissent

Rather, it was simply
To frolic and play
In linguistic mayhem
And poetic foray

Into traveller woes
Expressed novelly
And to add to this thread
Rhymed samples of whimsy

Lastly, I'll add
Something utterly unneeded
Only added for the sake
Of "end this!" unheeded

For those on American
Where the option to block
An adjacent seat is
Something not to be knocked

I'll bet that you don't
Proffer a Fred Rogers favor
And ask of anyone,
"Won't you be my neighbor?"

fasten seatbelts tight
your seat cushions float gently
headsets five dollars

Oh, will others please do
Post & add to this thread?
(Hopefully sometime
before going to bed)

I know that we've got
Some poets out there
Who can write woe in rhyme
Re: flying despair

I know there are others
Whose hand with Haiku
Wrought birth to this thread
(Now, how about you?)

So please won't you spend
Just a moment of time
And tender some phrases
Or a lyrical rhyme?

A haiku-ic rendition
Of flight-centric prose
Or sing-songified syllables
Of whatever (who knows?!)

Let's dance with some language
And play with some words
Let's revel in irony
And "applaud" the absurd

Just pilot this thread
To another new post
Navigate where you please
(Flights of fancy, we toast!)


What say you...?