I was thinking about PRMEX making 1K and how just 60,000 miles/year throws MY personal life into a shambles. How do others cope with this? Especially those of you with significant others and/or kids.

Personally, I do try to subscribe to the quality time over quantity theory. That and lots of souvineres tend to minimize the guilt. Of course, the fact that my job requires the travel helps in my mind, but that's tough to explain to a five year old. Now the free trips to DisneyWorld, that's something a 5 year old CAN understand, but that's only one week a year...

And as my wife recently explained, any MORE travel and she will sue me for abandonment and sexual deprivation

Is ff travel best left to those whose biggest travel critics will only MEOW them to death for ONE MORE TRIP? Tips, hints, anecdotes greatly appreciated.

Depends how you earn your 60000 miles. 3 Trips to Australia might get you there and doesn't take much time out of your year. With Air Canada's triple qualifying miles over the last two weeks you could have boosted it quickly as well. If you are like most people and do dozens of small trips -- it can be tough on the family if they are overnight trips, especially if you have kids. Make sure you invite your significant other and kid along for at least a few of the trips, especially to a location where they can go to the zoo, amusement parks, science museums, go shopping etc. It is best to do this while the kids are younger. I would actually pull my kid out of school for a few weeks each year to go travelling and she still won top marks, scholarships and all round achievement awards. I think the travel broadens their outlook. When kids get into high school this becomes tougher as they are more into their friends than their parents and may not want to go away unless they can take their friend. Look at it as a short term sacrifice -- you wouldn't want to be on this travel treadmill for all your life. Make time for each other and don't forget your duties around the house and yard! The perks for the family are the bonus -- we have been on several North American trips, two trips to Australia, and one trip to Africa all on free tickets for the whole family. Make sure the family helps in planning the next destination.

Another thing - don't overdo the gifts to kids, as after a while they start taking them for granted/seeing them as payment. If you can't take the family with you, send them postcards - kids get a thrill out of receiving mail addressed to themselves, & you can always find a story that a five year old will appreciate.

During my most intense period of travelling (over 50000 miles in ~3 months) I lived in a different country from my partner, which may have made things easier. We made a point of taking a long weekend alone together every month or three weeks, & every two or three months we'd meet in a third country & do some travelling together. Earthbound partners often feel left out.

I can't envisage trying to sustain that level of travelling for longer than 12 months: apart from the detrimental effect on one's personal life, the long flights are physically exhausting and spending fewer than two nights a week at home can lose its attraction.

You have one of the ingredients in QUALITY time. I did Sunday nite thru Friday travelling while my kids were young and what we did from Friday nite to Sunday nite far
exceeded what could happen Monday thru Thursday. Definitely out to dinner on Friday with the family, or head to the beach
or a special place for the weekend. Take a little extra time with the very significant other and praise and compliment them.

Now that my kids are grown and on their own,
they say they do not even remember me being gone that much. I think this is because we
all spent quality time together when I was
at home.

As for the reward portion of trips, etc., I still get requests from them for miles so that they can take trips. Probably because the rewards were there when they were growing up. Now, the rewards are for my wife and I, and she goes with me ocassionally to interesting places.

Sure, all these extras cost a little more, but, believe one who has been there, it's worth it.

MattWald do what you need to do.My wife loves it when i am gone.
Lax-LHR,LAX-JFK,LAX-SYD every month would earn you 400,000 actual miles a year.Nice itinerary sort of BlondeBombers itinerary.

My biggest travel critics not only MEOW me
to death every time I travel but they destroy
my home while I away (Even if it's overnight.) That's very funny, Matt.

I admire how you all do it and salute you. Unlike you, I have NO FAMILY (other than the
cats and my "inner circle" of friends) so for
now I can do the travel without major commitments. SOMEDAY I will have the family.
(Saving this thread to give myself soem advice on how to do the flying and the family.)

There are a few times I DON"T TRAVEL: Certain
friends birthdays, Christmas EVE and Day.
The first day of Hanukkah, weddings and special occassions for friends. Went on a business trip to Cincinnatti, Flew to my friend's wedding in Albany, went to the reception (it was over by 4pm) then flew back
to EWR to make sure I was at my godchild's
second birthday party (I babysat the
next day to give his parents some "quality time.")

Maybe my company sends me out on so much stuff because I'm known as "the single guy"
with no family or commitments. For now I'll
deal with it.

If I ever become 1K... I will be lucky to
have two friends left, and the cats would have moved out. CATMAN

I pretty much do all of the things that have been mentioned here...the gifts, postcards, quality time with girlfriend. She doesn't like it very much that I travel alot, but she does like the perks of taking her vacation time on a First Class trips anywhere in the world! Funny thing is that she couldn't really tell that I was traveling that much more this year than last (last year 65,000, this year will be 120,000+). I guess it's all a blur to her. Just me coming and going. She (we) has a 7 year old boy and in Matt Wald's post he mentioned taking the little one to Disney World and such on occasion, which I do as well. But what makes my situation a bit touchy with him is that most of my trips ARE to Disney World (or Tokyo Disneyland and Disneyland Paris). He gets upset sometimes when he knows that I am going to one of these places and I'm not taking him with me. I try to explain it's work but, well, he's a 7 year old, you know.
But enough about what it does to our friends and families...what about us! I actually can't think of anything worse than doing the doing the whole packing, airport crowds, flight delays, crammed into an aluminum tube and pressurized, impending gravity event, aircraft exodus, immagrations, luggage, customs, more airports, taxis, and hotels sort of thing. All of this while you have the pressure of the business combined with jet lag and being away from home, family and friends guilt. I tell you I LOVE IT! <not> And then when you get home and try to get a little sympathy by telling someone what a rough trip that you had, you just get this "Yeah...right." sort of thing like they don't believe you just because they wish they could travel the world. Well I tell you...it's one thing when you WANT to, but it's totally another thing when you HAVE to. How about a little sympathy for us FFer's?

Don't expect sympathy on this thread. I always try and get out and do something in a new location whether it is looking through used record shops/books etc or going hiking/birdwatching. Those little perks can be done if you plan your business day and your flights to give you the extra couple of hours. I know sometimes we all just want to get home but that probably adds to the "hectic feel". Relax, unwind and treat yourself occasionally.

A Mickey Mouse job, huh, PremEx?

BlondeBomber, you seem to be your own boss/a consultant, so you probably have the power to arrange your own schedule. If you don't, or if you're in a situation where everything had to be done YESTERDAY it can be tricky.

A fairly typical example of the sort of thing I had to do during those wild 3 months was
Wednesday: LHR-Venice work
Thursday: fog in Venice, so bus to Verona-LHR
delay = over 3 hours.
Friday: work near LHR, afternoon flight to Berlin (one of those romantic weekends)
Monday: last flight Berlin-LHR
Tuesday: arrive at work, discover I am going to DAR that evening. In office until 6.30, trying to get last minute seats: tube/taxi home, unpack-repack, taxi/train to LGW
Wednesday: arrive in Dar es Salaam via Entebbe: 15 hours on the plane. Berlin was midwinter (February), Dar is on the equator with 1000% humidity, temp over 40C, 3 hours of work, blisters walking across the tarmac.
Thursday: no useable flight from Dar to London, so (7am GMT) Dar-Harare via Nairobi on a dreadful flight which was supposed to be direct, delayed several hours, no apology, dirty bathroom. Too late to do anything useful (ie work) in HRE - dinner with friends, they are downgrading people on the flight to LGW, so I travel in coach
Friday: LGW in the early hours, home briefly, back out to LHR where I finish work late.


So - I managed to fit some personal stuff in, but that would not have been my itinerary of choice. When you're flying into remote places you often don't have a choice in terms of itinerary - if I'd waited for my return flight from Dar I'd have been there until Sunday, which my boss vetoed! So I spent over 30 hours travelling for a 3 hour job. And I felt like a wrung-out dishrag by the end of it. If other ffs don't understand this, who will?

baobab--I sincerely hope that you are paid lot of money for what you do. With a schedule like yours, who has time for personal items, and definitely reward travel is out. Remind us to never accept an "in limbo" position as our occupation.

Great suggestions. Baobab: you don't know how right you are about the gifts becoming entitlements. And Blondebomber: I agree that each trip that takes us someplace interesting ought to be enjoyed. I have 2 problems, though: 1) no offense to anyone in or from these plances, but there is VERY little interesting to see in many of my destinations (Oklahoma city, bakersfield, ca, spokane, wa, etc) and after all, one hotel meeting room pretty much looks like the next and 2) maybe its a catholic guilt thing, but I find it hard to enjoy myeslf at some of my more interesting destinations knowing that time spent hiking, skiiing, or scuba diving could be better (and less selfishly) spent with wife and/or kids...even though I have nothing better to do with the dead time during a business trip.

PS: PREMEX, hows about some gratas DisneyWorld passes for your FlyerTalk chums? Or at least talk to Eisner about allowing us ff's to exchange miles for park passes!!!!!

After reading what PremEx, Baobab, Jaws43,
Rudi, Matt Wald, BlondeBomber, etc do... I
will never complain about my business traveling again.

But PremEx and everyone else... you'll get
sympathy from me. And thanks for warning me
what lies ahead WHEN I have the family.

I have no reason to complain since I don't travel as much as you all. But it can get frustrating with delays and when people you are to meet don't show up or are late or hotel rooms are not ready and the company micromanages thousands of miles away.

I like your approach, BlondeBomber. I tell my company I like to have a half day or
an extra day just for me to do exploring
(whether it's walking the Golden gate Bridge or going to a museum or *at nighttime* taking myself to the Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.) I shop too, this is how I get my Christmas/Hanukkah gifts.(My goal this year -- all done by Nov. 15th.)

If I had family, I would take them with me.
But Yaz does NOT like to travel.

FYI: if you get DisneyWorld Gratis passes... I have NOT been there in 25 years. REALLY.
Never had the time. CATMAN

There is no sympathy here, that's for sure! I'm envious of some of you. Taking a half or full day off to enjoy the sites? (On the client's time?) Downtime on a business trip? (That's the weekend if you choose not to go home)

I'm single and for the past three years have typically spent four (and many times five) nights away from home most weeks of the year. I really don't know how those with kids manage this much travel. After hearing a former colleague's young children crying on the phone and telling their father that they didn't like his new job because he was always gone, I kind of figured that a consultant's lifestyle is simply not compatible with a family.

To those who have managed, I salute you.

My downtime is NEVER on the client's time.
I just manage to get the extra time (or I
use the COMP or Vacation time I've earned
from past work and working part of a weekend.) But it makes the trips a little
bit more bareable.

Like you MileKing, my job is NOT compatable
with family (or in my case relationships)
I work overnights, do morning drive news
then get sent out to be "a representative"
for the station or get new training or show how we do things to other places.

When you guys are earning frequent sleeping miles... I am up helping get the news on the air. Someone has to do it so "the single guy" does it. The cats are used to my crazy
hours. My friends too.

It's ok. I don't want sympathy. But I salute
all of you, married with children or single
w/out cats for handling all that travel.
I would need strength to do it.

But when that special woman comes along...
everythign changes!!! CATMAN

Well BlondeBomber I guess I'm just not lucky enough to have a job like yours! I can't even think of the last time I didn't go right from a project/meetings/site-inspection whatever, right to bed! If I was somewhere I WANTED to be and HAD some extra time to fart around with hiking, sightseeing, what have you, I think I'd be happier too. I never have free time before, during or after a business trip. Believe me I've tried. Always have to get right back for some hairbrained thing or another. But as it is, I work while you whistle...that is until someday I become the Big Cheese.