E-mail from an FA
 

Just thought I'd share a relatively recent experience on a domestic flight. One FA (FA 1) chatted with me several times during the flight (he came to my seat each time), gave me complements, and gave me extra blankets (which I did not request) because he said "the cabin was cold". (But that was it, I didn't give him my card or gave him any personal info). Then, towards the end of the flight, we were handed a survey of which I happily completed and handed it to ANOTHER FA (FA 2). And, just last week, I received an e-mail from FA 1 asking me out and confessed that he got my e-mail from the survey...I basically am shrugging my shoulders over this, but my boss said I should write to HQ (I think that's a little extreme). What are your thoughts?

I guess it depends on whether or not you want to accept the date offer... :D

Personally, I would not be happy to know that someone took my personal information off of a document that was meant for another purpose. He could have just asked you for your contact information.

I am sure UA HQ would not be happy to be told about this incident.

William

Just chill out and take it as compliment - if he was cute give us his contact details.

Inappropriate, but i doubt i'd report him, that's a bit harsh, but maybe i'm only being sympathetic because he liked you.

He paid you a compliment. He contacted you in the only way he knew how. While it probably wasn't appropriate, it certainly was malicious. Enjoy the stroke to your ego and let it go. :cool:

No, definitely don't tell HQ. That's ridiculous. I can personally testify to the fact that some FA's are prone to flirting with the passengers, however unprofessional or even obnoxious as it can be... but don't get the poor guy in trouble just cos you aren't interested in the offer. Have a heart!

It wasn't appropriate, except maybe in a movie since there really is something cute about it. But that is the romantic in me. Unfortunately, times have changed and we've had to become [or FEEL we've had to become] so protective of privacy in our society. But I would be flattered and leave it at that. Only if he continued to e-mail you after you asked him not to should you report him.

I would say perhaps his original purpose of contacting you was innocent.

If he turns out to be a psycho and harasses you via email, then sure.. it's another story.

I agree with Izzik--it was inappropriate, but the purpose was innocent; don't follow up to HQ unless a further problem develops, since the punishment from HQ could be very severe.

In fact, I think I'd reply to warn him off this behavior in the future. Something like:

Dear FA,

Thanks for your e-mail. I'm very flattered, but although you're attractive I'm afraid I'm already in a relationship(/you're just not my type/whatever).

Actually, it's probably a bad idea to e-mail passengers if you get their e-mail address from those surveys. I'm not going to report this to HQ, but there's a risk that if someone did--say, a homophobic straight person you mistook for gay--it could cause you severe problems.

BKKboy

--but then, that's me, and I tend to be both gentle and wordy. :)

Bestill my heart!

I would concur with the others here. Although what he did was inappropriate, no harm was done. I think writing him back and telling him you are not interested along the lines of SJC1K's suggestions would not be a bad idea. If he pursues you further after that contacting HQ could be an option, but for now I'd say enjoy the compliment and go on with your day. :)

What's interesting is that, honestly, I would have a totally different opinion if it were a straight male hitting on a woman. I guess it's becasue women have to put with so much more of this and it's much more often unwanted (probably simply because something in your response and chatting told him you were gay which might have been a sign that you didn't mind the attention).

So, no, I wouldn't report it unless he starts harrassing you. But I would have reported it if he were conatcting female passengers. I'll let the accusations of sexism and double-standards begin.

It may be a double standard, but my take is the same. Don't ask me why, but if it was a straight male FA and a female pax, I would consider it harrassmet. But for gay male FA and gay male pax, I don't. Hey, who ever said I was logical? :p

Good comments so far...

Customer privacy is a very hot issue in society today and thus what the FA did was inappropriate. Even though its very innocent its still inappropriate.

I like SJC1K's idea about emailing and saying something like "thanks but no thanks and by the way dont do this again because XXXX" - keep it short and simple and even send it from an anonymous email account (like gmail, yahoo, whatever) to get it away from the email address you put on the survey.

The romantic in me says "WAHOO" to the FA for taking the chance since convert ops are really the only ways that some GLBTs have in asking someone out or whatever so...

I wouldnt report to HQ but I would send him the email.

Corey

People have done crazy things for love (at first sight).

I, too, would let the transgression slide unless it becomes a "stalker"-type situation where the FA doesn't take the hint and keeps e-mailing you. Oddly (or sadly) enough, I also agree with those who said if it was a male FA and a female pax, I'd view the situation as far more inappropriate and worthy of a note to HQ.

Did the OP ever say he was a gay male pax?

Its Only An Email

Was the survey sealed and were your particulars within? Just curious. It wouldn't be too hard to steal a glance if the survey wasn't sealed or if your contact info was on the outside. It still does not excuse the impropriety of his actions.

If I had gotten such an e-mail, my first reaction would be to grin like a Cheshire cat. I, too, am a hopeless romantic, and I would've interpreted such a gesture as very sweet and flattering, rather than an invasion of my privacy. Subsequent reactions could range from shock to horror - especially if you accept his invitation and the date goes awry - but I usually stick to my first one ;)

If you are offended by his invitation, I would just let it slide. Life is short and he took a chance. IMHO, I don't think he deserves to lose his job over that.

Women are not that innocent. I have been harrassed by plenty of them. Again, a non-ambiguous "No, thanks" is the most appropriate response in my opinion. If that is not respected, however, I can see a reason to report the behavior. Putting out an invitation/request/question that doesn't put a person on the spot is never wrong as long as the person's response is respected.

Impulsive Behavior
 

This is very interesting as I fall into the nothing ventured nothing gained category. I think it harmless but a couple of things came to mind after reading the OP and reading the comments. It is possible that the FA thought that he getting the green light from BKKBoy. I don't know because I was not there but perhaps the FA thought, hey, I have chatted with this guy several times, he seems nice and interested in me. Did FA1 have to ask FA2 to see the surveys and if so you would have thought FA2 would have cautioned his co-worker about sending the email. There are just far too many unknowns in the situation. The OP does not mention the duration of the chats, what they chatted about, etc. I am not trying to create drama, but for someone's boss to say that they should write to HQ so flippantly concerns me bit. This is someone's career we are talking about. The FA did not use good judgement of that there is not debate, is it worth him loosing his job over? I personally would not even email the FA. You risk sending this guy into panic mode, not to mention him emailing you back. The best thing IMHO is to let it drop.

Covert ops! Convert ops are what the religious right thinks we do. ;)

BKKBoy: If FA1 is a Singapore Boy, please forward his contact information to me privately. I'll handle the matter.

As for you, don't let it worry you.

like everyone else, i suppose its kinda good to know you are desired. For someone as young as me, below 30 and fly. I don't get picked up in flights and neither do i get courteous FA and sometimes, quite rare to find a nice one who isn't rude.Maybe cos im a minority.

Consider yourself lucky. If i were the op, i would invite the FA for a coffee.
But then again, some FAs especially Asian ones have been known to carry the deed a bit overboard.

Consider yourself lucky man!!! You scored an admirer.

Ahem, yes, if MegatopLover is too busy he can delegate the task to me. :rolleyes: :D

Why do I feel that this topic would be headed in a different direction in the Womans Forum.

I'd write the letter to the airline. Be general. Leave out your name if it makes you feel better. The airline needs to know what their employees are up to.

Dan is right!

<<rant on>>

C'mon you guys! Are you thinking with your big heads or your little ones? This FA was totally, 100%, out of line. Can you imagine, me as a waiter at a fancy hotel, getting your private info and contacting you? I would be fired immediately. As a matter of fact, I was hired because they trust me to NOT do that!

Yeah, the whole thing is cute in a way and gee, we all want to be thought of as attractive to the "galmorous FA's" but the thought of someone accessing my personal info that way is spooky. The fact that some of us think it is not ok for a guy to do this to a woman but it is ok for a guy to do this to a guy really galls me. That is why we men have a hard time with <wink, wink> sexual harrasment. :rolleyes: I quit a fancy butler job on my second day after I was sexually harrassed by the boss. Who was I gonna tell? :mad:

<<rant off>>

*Whew*

I mean, I hate to get the guy fired over this but I would send off a snail mail letter that "I filled out a survey on Flt XXX on such-and-such-a-date and was suprised to be emailed by a FA asking me for a date! The name is not important etc., etc."

What possible use would this be other than to provide another means for the FA to contact him?

I am glad you said this... I totally agree and would write a letter too....you are letting your ego get in the way of a clear violation of company policy by an employee....

UAL doesn't give a damn about the way its staff treats LGBT passengers. Trust me on this one.

The FA should have initiated contact in a more professional manner within company policy. Using his company provided webmail account he can send the email "Recently I had the pleasure of serving you on Flt XXX. I hope you found the flight enjoyable and look forward to serving you again, etc."

It's a simple "marketing" type email and if the pax is interested, then voila he will respond accordingly. If not, "no harm no foul."

While I would not report the FA to corporate (just bad karma), the OP'ers recommendation on sending a short note to that FA looks to offer the best outcome for all involved.

Last thing you want is for that FA to get fired, end up at another airline and having him serve you in F on a LAX-CDG flight... "I hope you enjoy your salmon, I seasoned it especially for you!"

weighing in, here...
 

and throwing all 99 of my pounds around.
I have highest level security with my employer and act *daily* to protect vital personal information available to me from the people I serve, some of whom are NAMES you'd recognize in the entertainment industry.
Trust me, except for some of THEM, who are duly paranoid, most people aren't as proactive as they should be (and so, in their stead, I AM) about the measures THEY need to take in order to protect the security of that information, e.g., name, contact addresses, phone #, account #, etc.
THUS
if I were the OP, I'd be:
(a) hopping mad that contact information I submitted on a survey was NOT kept confidential as evidenced by email (personal, I gather) received from an FA; AND
(b) writing the air carrier to that effect, especially if I had surrendered that contact information in the survey with the air carrier's expressed promise of confidentiality thereon;
(c) informing the air carrier I would be happy to participate in future such surveys only if I could be assured of confidentiality, and not otherwise.
But maybe that's just me.
Anyway, I *do* write letters!
Obviously. :(

It was only an email for goodness sake. An email address does not contain a home address. It seems to me that some people need to lighten up a bit.

The most sensible response as suggested earlier , would be to say thank you , but no thank you and be careful of contacting passengers who may not like it etc etc.

I wonder if those sour grapes type people who insist on contacting the airline would still feel this way if a) it really did happen to them and 2) they liked the FA!

Worry about the big stuff in life, not overdramatise the small stuff:)

Thank you! A voice of reason has spoken. @:-)

I'm with buddhaman, some people really do need to loosen up a bit. I know the age of innocence has gone but do we all need to be so litigious and paranoid?

Thanks for all the comments. I e-mailed the FA back and politely declined his offer. I will not not send the letter to HQ, though many of you do have excellent points regarding privacy issues.

The rapport between us was good, we mostly chatted about Thailand and my travels. He did asked me to come on back and have a chat later on, which I didn't because I wanted to watch the movie. So he compensated by coming to me and chatting regularly throughout the 4 hour flight. The thing is, through his interaction with me, I wouldn't be surprised if he asked for my contact info. What was surprising, however, was that he got it from the confidential survey. Anyways, thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Ok, a couple things before I probably have to unsubscribe to this thread. :rolleyes: :

Sexual harrasment is UNWANTED advances. If it has not happened to you, then you have no idea what it is like. If (a) and (c) were/are true then it is NOT sexual harrasment.


Also, please do not resort to name calling for experiences and beliefs that some of us have that you do not agree with. A far greater person than me recently said, in our GLBT forum on another thread, "...let's be fair in the 'branding' of our other members over personal beliefs."

I know the OP has already replied to the FA, but there's a point I want to add anyway.

Something that we have to keep in mind in cases like this is that the world does not (yet) treat gay people equally. If you make a complaint about someone to his employer, and sexual orientation is involved in any way, you run the risk of the complaint landing on the desk of a homophobe who will come down much harder on a gay person than on a straight person. An offense that might get a straight person a slap on the wrist could well get a gay person fired. This is not fair, but it's the way the world is now, certainly in the United States.

If you think the offense is a firing offense anyway, as is arguable in this case, go ahead and make the complaint. Otherwise, think about the possible disproportionate consequences of the complaint before making it. I realize that I'm arguing for treating fellow gay people differently from straight people, and that troubles me, but I don't think you can just act as though the world were fair when you know it is not.

There is a whole world outside of the USA where homosexuals are treated equally, at least in the eyes of the law. It's a shame that America's social policy has been sidelined by it's foreign policy while countries all around the world advance the rights of it's own people.

To be clear, I didn't mean to say that this is a problem everywhere in the world, but clearly the world as a whole doesn't yet treat gay people equally. With a US company like UA, there is certainly a risk of unequal treatment.