When waiters write my tip on the bill rather than allowing me to do so. That almost invariably gets the number reduced.

Do you mean with a pen or just the "auto-grat" that some restaurants use?

With the pen, the auto-grat is fine as long as it's set by the restaurant usually aligning with the regional standard. The electronic ones are usually advertised by sign IME and I've not seen an unreasonable one yet.

I went to a restaurant and the bill was around 13.00. I gave the waiter a twenty dollar bill.

"Do you want any change back?"

Seriously!!!???

Your reputation (as a big tipper) precedes you.

1,000,000% agree! I was just talking with my dad about this. Neither of us actively drink and we had dinner at Gibson's in Rosemont, IL last week. We didn't order alcohol, but the server was fantastic throughout. We didn't even order steaks (it's a steakhouse) and the guy was amazing. I tipped him accordingly because my service shouldn't depend on anything that I order. If I get a hamburger or the Australian lobster, my service should be about the same.

Waiters that don't pay attention to "special" orders and think it is no big deal. At lunch on Sunday, I ordered decaf coffee with my meal (such a special order I know ). Well the ditz we had as a waitress didn't think it mattered if I got regular or decaf, and because she didn't want to wait for a pot of decaf to brew brought me regular. Unfortunately, she only admitted this after I called the restaurant to complain because I suffered the after effects of getting caffeine (and that's the only place it could've happened).

Yes, I know that these days everybody is a precious princess and need gluten free, dairy free, GMO free, etc but it is not the wait staffs duty to determine which issues are real and which ones are fake. Either handle the request as asked or let the customer know they can't be accommodated.

Lately it seems there is an increasing trend towards making the guest do more work. It started way back with fast food places making you fill your own cup.

But now, here in San Diego, amidst all the hipster start-up/craft beer places it is getting outright annoying. It is common now to go into a place and seat yourself, then look at a menu, then have to get up and order it from the bar. It's also common that a place without a license to actually serve food establishes a partnership with a nearby place and makes your order delivery from there for you to get served, so you have to use your smart phone and figure it out. Much of this is to avoid having to hire waitstaff. Throw in the trend toward "communal tables" and many places around here are turning into county fair type experiences. The bearded/plaid crowd seems to like it..but if I am a patron and giving an establishment money, they should serve me. Here is my money, I am out. It's all on you now...cook it, bring it to me. I am not filling my own cup, not getting out of my seat to fight for the bartenders attention so I can order your damn charcuterie, and I am not sharing a table with the smelly man-bun guy in Toms and his 1 month old baby. Take my money, serve me. That's the deal.

The other thing is the over performing water boy. I thank you for keeping an eye on my water, but I don't need you by every 5 minutes to fill my glass that's only had a third of the water taken from it.

Yeah, I'm guilty. Actually I do like that basic principle the majority of the time when I eat out. Casual cool. When I do want the full sit-down experience, there is never any shortage of options.

Needed to see this again. And your screen name.

Recently, I've noticed a lot of restaurants using the phrase Market Price, or some variation of this on items that have limited quantities. If I want that, then I need to ask how much it costs, which is 1- unnecessary imo and 2- people sitting within earshot of me with my wife may jump to unwarranted conclusions about me (of the "cheapskate" variety) and undue pressure on my wife. Who knows, maybe the oysters on the half shell listed cost $100. I don't know because it's not printed on the menu.

"We just have Bud Light, Miller Lite, Heineken, mass produced beer A and mass produced beer B on tap, everything else is in bottles."

Servers who have no idea on how to recommend a wine pairing with a main course, but do anyways. This is shockingly creeping into higher end establishments where they think it's unnecessary to pay a sommelier to be on their staff.

When I ask to substitute something, don't tell me you can't do it, just find a way to do it and charge me.

Last night I was at a Thai restaurant and I asked for drunken noodles with duck. It wasn't on the menu but I was willing to pay whatever upcharge they wanted. I work in a restaurant and they had the same point of sale system we use, I knew there was an "OPEN INFO" button under which you can enter whatever information you want but the waitress first told me it wasn't possible, then said she'd go ask for me. Thankfully, they eventually agreed to do it, but I think their thought process should be about saying yes rather than no.

Backstory: I'm a Morton's VIP member. Last night I went to Morton's and got a server I've had before. She acknowledged my VIP status and even recognized me yet she still went through the whole menu and specials in painstaking detail. Also, any time a dish was mentioned, she would go into great detail about what was in it.

I wanted to gouge my eyes out.

I love it when they say, "Welcome back Mr. United747. I'm sure you know the menu quite well, but would you like a refresher on anything?"

Waiters that don't look around the restaurant as they're moving through it. I have been trying to get someone's attention for 20 minutes as my wine glass has been empty that long. I have seen waiter after waiter stride through the dining room of the restaurant I'm in with blinkers on, apparently in total ignorance of 95% of the customers in their workplace. I'm now p****d off and that will be reflected in my tip, so it's only themselves they're hurting (and me a little, IIH). If they had attended to me when my glass was empty I would have spent more, been more satisfied, and therefore tipped a higher percentage of a larger bill.

Do they not teach this in the first week of waiter university?* I hope they all read FT to learn their lesson.* I should be treated better than this!*





*Yes, I'm being sarcastic.

Fear not; it's a certainty that they'll then come around when you're in the middle of an energetic conversation or when your mouth is full of food and half the plate is eaten, to ask the badly-timed "How's everything going here?" question I swear they teach this behavior during training.