Consolidated "Dining Alone - suggestions, experiences, questions" thread
Dec 17, 2008, 8:54 pm
#31
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Unfortunately, the hostess was different than the waiter. In the end, I had to tip the waiter. Since the food was quite good, and since I would be back, I shoved along 20% as insurance that my food won't have spit in it the next time I am back.
Good on you! I myself usually don't have the cojones to insist on a different table. Yes, I'm polite to a fault. Living in the big city however, I'm forcing myself to be rude... err assertive... as needed.
As irrational as it seems, in the past I've chalked up my unexplainably rude experiences at restaurants to my age or to my race. As I've gotten older (and it is showing), the former has been less of an excuse. I've also come to realize that many times people aren't racist, they're just @ssholes.
As irrational as it seems, in the past I've chalked up my unexplainably rude experiences at restaurants to my age or to my race. As I've gotten older (and it is showing), the former has been less of an excuse. I've also come to realize that many times people aren't racist, they're just @ssholes.
Dec 17, 2008, 10:30 pm
#33
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Good on you! I myself usually don't have the cojones to insist on a different table. Yes, I'm polite to a fault. Living in the big city however, I'm forcing myself to be rude... err assertive... as needed.
As irrational as it seems, in the past I've chalked up my unexplainably rude experiences at restaurants to my age or to my race. As I've gotten older (and it is showing), the former has been less of an excuse. I've also come to realize that many times people aren't racist, they're just @ssholes.
As irrational as it seems, in the past I've chalked up my unexplainably rude experiences at restaurants to my age or to my race. As I've gotten older (and it is showing), the former has been less of an excuse. I've also come to realize that many times people aren't racist, they're just @ssholes.
Dec 17, 2008, 11:33 pm
#34
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I've a feeling this is a (admittedly very pragmatic) German thing. It's also quite common round those parts (and surrounding areas), to disappear, on your own, to the hotel breakfast buffet bar, and return to find someone there, opposite you.
If I hadn't been warned about it before the first time it happened to me, I'm not sure what I'd have done...
Originally Posted by ajax
I was at a crappy corner Chinese restaurant in Frankfurt once. I think there were five tables max - four four-tops and one two-top. Three of the four-tops were taken. I was alone and sat at the remaining four-top, closest to the door.
About three minutes after I ordered, three guys came in and didn't have anywhere to sit. I offered to move to the free two-top, but they insisted I stay as they didn't want to inconvenience me. The only problem was that they had nowhere to sit. So they sat with me, taking the remaining three free seats at my table.
It was the most uncomfortable fifteen minutes I've spent in a long time. We spent about thirty seconds making awkward conversation and then proceeded to studiously ignore each other for the rest of the meal. Needless to say, I wolfed down my food and bolted ASAP.
About three minutes after I ordered, three guys came in and didn't have anywhere to sit. I offered to move to the free two-top, but they insisted I stay as they didn't want to inconvenience me. The only problem was that they had nowhere to sit. So they sat with me, taking the remaining three free seats at my table.
It was the most uncomfortable fifteen minutes I've spent in a long time. We spent about thirty seconds making awkward conversation and then proceeded to studiously ignore each other for the rest of the meal. Needless to say, I wolfed down my food and bolted ASAP.
If I hadn't been warned about it before the first time it happened to me, I'm not sure what I'd have done...
Dec 18, 2008, 2:25 am
#35
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[QUOTE=stut;10927055I've a feeling this is a (admittedly very pragmatic) German thing. It's also quite common round those parts (and surrounding areas), to disappear, on your own, to the hotel breakfast buffet bar, and return to find someone there, opposite you.[/QUOTE]
Yes, I think you're right. It is a German thing. It's quite pragmatic indeed, but if you're not used to compromising your personal space (both physical and emotional) for a group of strangers, it can be a bit off-putting the first time.
I've been at restaurants several times where another couple has sat down at the other end of a large table; that's totally cool (and indeed quite pragmatic).
It was just a bit funny to be joined by three strangers at a four-seat table -rather awkward as you can imagine!
Yes, I think you're right. It is a German thing. It's quite pragmatic indeed, but if you're not used to compromising your personal space (both physical and emotional) for a group of strangers, it can be a bit off-putting the first time.
I've been at restaurants several times where another couple has sat down at the other end of a large table; that's totally cool (and indeed quite pragmatic).
It was just a bit funny to be joined by three strangers at a four-seat table -rather awkward as you can imagine!
Dec 18, 2008, 4:14 am
#36
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Originally Posted by ajax
The only problem was that they had nowhere to sit. So they sat with me,
taking the remaining three free seats at my table.
It was the most uncomfortable fifteen minutes I've spent in a long time. We spent about
thirty seconds making awkward conversation and then proceeded to studiously ignore each
other for the rest of the meal. Needless to say, I wolfed down my food and bolted
ASAP.
taking the remaining three free seats at my table.
It was the most uncomfortable fifteen minutes I've spent in a long time. We spent about
thirty seconds making awkward conversation and then proceeded to studiously ignore each
other for the rest of the meal. Needless to say, I wolfed down my food and bolted
ASAP.
Originally Posted by stut
I've a feeling this is a (admittedly very pragmatic) German thing.
as those brought up in the Anglo-American culture (as myself, though I am far from
Anglo-American).
Dec 18, 2008, 4:44 am
#37
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Yes, I would say you're right. I've noticed this in many other cultures outside of Germany. We Brits/Americans tend to be rather sensitive about our personal space. It's just a cultural thing I guess.
Dec 18, 2008, 8:22 am
#38
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I've done it to others in Europe when there were no empty tables. I've met some very charming and interesting people that way. Of course, I'm also the kind of guy that asks to be seated at a table of 10 on a cruise ship so the Mrs & I can meet a few new friends.
Dec 20, 2008, 10:48 pm
#39
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Dec 20, 2008, 11:14 pm
#40
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I've even had this problem in fast food places. Just the other day I stopped at a Carl's Jr, just wanting a quick bite to eat and a chance to read the daily newspaper in a quiet corner of the restaurant. It was pretty empty when I walked in, lots of empty tables. Then, after I start eating, two gentlemen sit down right behind me and start carrying on a conversation. Normally I wouldn't mind, but it felt like they were talking in my ear. Very distracting. I was actually tempted to pick up my food and sit somewhere else. I didn't want to be rude, just wanted to find some peace and quiet in a fairly empty restaurant.
Dec 21, 2008, 5:15 am
#41
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) are a little more hesitant to bust out in conversation with completel strangers at dinner. But kudos to you for breaking the mold.
Dec 21, 2008, 5:18 am
#42
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Had you been huffy and made a big show (sighed heavily, etc.) whilst moving your stuff to the other side of the restaurant, you might have attracted some attention, but I don't think it's rude. And you don't seem like the kind of person to be rude in this case anyway.
Dec 21, 2008, 5:49 am
#43
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Similar thing happened to me at a hotel restaurant, when it opened at 6:30 am for breakfast. Hostess brought me to a table a few inches away from another diner...the only other patron in the restaurant. I kindly asked to sit only a table or two away, within the server's station, and was refused! She was serious, and said I had to sit there.
Dec 21, 2008, 7:34 am
#44
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By any chance was this at the Hyatt Regency O'Hare? The same thing happened to me a few months ago (only difference was that it was a male host). Instead of leaving, I just waited a minute, and moved to the end of the seating section (still within the server's station). The host, having seen what I had done, shot me a dirty look, but then ignored me for the rest of my meal (which was fine with me).
Anybody venture a guess as to why these sadistic hosts and hostesses insist someone sit so uncomfortably close to another diner in an empty restaurant? Obviously they want to keep the few diners together within a server's station, but why to this extreme?
Dec 21, 2008, 11:19 am
#45
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I don't think you would have been rude at all had you picked up and moved somewhere else. It's your prerogative to eat where you're most comfortable if possible.
Had you been huffy and made a big show (sighed heavily, etc.) whilst moving your stuff to the other side of the restaurant, you might have attracted some attention, but I don't think it's rude. And you don't seem like the kind of person to be rude in this case anyway.
Had you been huffy and made a big show (sighed heavily, etc.) whilst moving your stuff to the other side of the restaurant, you might have attracted some attention, but I don't think it's rude. And you don't seem like the kind of person to be rude in this case anyway.
Oh, I'm pretty good at being rude and huffy. It's just that no one takes me seriously when I do that..
