Lingering After You Finish Dining
Apr 3, 2015, 2:55 am
#46
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 3,438
Never really thought it that way - you could be right
Apr 3, 2015, 5:42 am
#47
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Baltimore, MD USA
Programs: Southwest Rapid Rewards. Tha... that's about it.
Posts: 4,332
As with all things, there are multiple right and multiple wrong answers to this question. Which is the right answer depends on multiple factors like the local customs, type of restaurant, crowds, and the composition/behavior of your party.
In general, I find it acceptable to do a little lingering at a restaurant. But how much lingering varies wildly.
At a buffet, people in my party generally will continue to eat until we're ready to leave. However, the waitstaff at most of the buffets I frequent stop bringing drink refills or even paying attention to the table once the bill is paid, which encourages lingerers to leave. We generally linger about a half-hour after the bill is paid, though we have lingered as long as an hour.
At a chain restaurant, we tend to shorten our lingering a bit, as we are aware of those waiting for a table out front. The longer the wait, the less we linger; we never rush our meal, but we feel that it's courteous to others to avoid monopolizing the table once we're finished the meal. If we feel the need to continue socializing after dinner, sometimes we'll go somewhere else.
I patronize true fine dining establishments very rarely, but when I do, I operate pretty much the same way I do at a chain restaurant - a little lingering is okay, so long as I am not causing others to have an excessive wait for a table.
Another factor to consider, though, is behavior. My circle of friends can be pretty boisterous, which is perfectly acceptable in a noisy buffet, and not too out of line in a chain restaurant like Red Lobster or Longhorn. But the nicer the place, the quieter it generally is, and the more out of line my party's boisterous nature becomes. As such, at the nicer places, those in the party who are cognizant of such things tend to shoo the group out once the bill is paid, to prevent the boisterousness from becoming excessive and disturbing other patrons. Fortunately, none in my group are heavy drinkers, so we don't have to deal with rowdy drunks. Simply saying, "Everybody ready?" after the bills are paid is typically enough to motivate the exodus.
In general, I find it acceptable to do a little lingering at a restaurant. But how much lingering varies wildly.
At a buffet, people in my party generally will continue to eat until we're ready to leave. However, the waitstaff at most of the buffets I frequent stop bringing drink refills or even paying attention to the table once the bill is paid, which encourages lingerers to leave. We generally linger about a half-hour after the bill is paid, though we have lingered as long as an hour.
At a chain restaurant, we tend to shorten our lingering a bit, as we are aware of those waiting for a table out front. The longer the wait, the less we linger; we never rush our meal, but we feel that it's courteous to others to avoid monopolizing the table once we're finished the meal. If we feel the need to continue socializing after dinner, sometimes we'll go somewhere else.
I patronize true fine dining establishments very rarely, but when I do, I operate pretty much the same way I do at a chain restaurant - a little lingering is okay, so long as I am not causing others to have an excessive wait for a table.
Another factor to consider, though, is behavior. My circle of friends can be pretty boisterous, which is perfectly acceptable in a noisy buffet, and not too out of line in a chain restaurant like Red Lobster or Longhorn. But the nicer the place, the quieter it generally is, and the more out of line my party's boisterous nature becomes. As such, at the nicer places, those in the party who are cognizant of such things tend to shoo the group out once the bill is paid, to prevent the boisterousness from becoming excessive and disturbing other patrons. Fortunately, none in my group are heavy drinkers, so we don't have to deal with rowdy drunks. Simply saying, "Everybody ready?" after the bills are paid is typically enough to motivate the exodus.
Apr 4, 2015, 12:15 am
#48
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Dec 2001
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For me, I would be really bored to hang out a couple of hours after dinner. An hour is ok but more than that, am ready to leave. Unless it is a business dinner.
Where I live, when you have the table it is yours, for the whole evening. Only one restaurant if you reserve for the 7:30 table they let you know that they need it by 9:30. And once we didn't have time to have dessert.
What really disturbs me in the US is how quickly they give you the check. It bugs the daylight out of me. Normally I tell the over exuberant server that we really aren't ready, or order a coffee or tell them I would add extra to the already generous tip but please leave us a few more minutes.
I really feel that customers are like herd, in and out. At times, it just doesn't make sense to me to eat out in the US unless it is fine dinning.
The noise level, the over intrusion of the servers, the empty plates that are taken when not the whole table is done. I always tell the server to keep the empty plates because it is makes the ones who didn't finish rush with their food.
Where I live, when you have the table it is yours, for the whole evening. Only one restaurant if you reserve for the 7:30 table they let you know that they need it by 9:30. And once we didn't have time to have dessert.
What really disturbs me in the US is how quickly they give you the check. It bugs the daylight out of me. Normally I tell the over exuberant server that we really aren't ready, or order a coffee or tell them I would add extra to the already generous tip but please leave us a few more minutes.
I really feel that customers are like herd, in and out. At times, it just doesn't make sense to me to eat out in the US unless it is fine dinning.
The noise level, the over intrusion of the servers, the empty plates that are taken when not the whole table is done. I always tell the server to keep the empty plates because it is makes the ones who didn't finish rush with their food.
Apr 4, 2015, 7:36 am
#49
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Baltimore, MD USA
Programs: Southwest Rapid Rewards. Tha... that's about it.
Posts: 4,332
For me, I would be really bored to hang out a couple of hours after dinner. An hour is ok but more than that, am ready to leave. Unless it is a business dinner.
Where I live, when you have the table it is yours, for the whole evening. Only one restaurant if you reserve for the 7:30 table they let you know that they need it by 9:30. And once we didn't have time to have dessert.
What really disturbs me in the US is how quickly they give you the check. It bugs the daylight out of me. Normally I tell the over exuberant server that we really aren't ready, or order a coffee or tell them I would add extra to the already generous tip but please leave us a few more minutes.
I really feel that customers are like herd, in and out. At times, it just doesn't make sense to me to eat out in the US unless it is fine dinning.
The noise level, the over intrusion of the servers, the empty plates that are taken when not the whole table is done. I always tell the server to keep the empty plates because it is makes the ones who didn't finish rush with their food.
Where I live, when you have the table it is yours, for the whole evening. Only one restaurant if you reserve for the 7:30 table they let you know that they need it by 9:30. And once we didn't have time to have dessert.
What really disturbs me in the US is how quickly they give you the check. It bugs the daylight out of me. Normally I tell the over exuberant server that we really aren't ready, or order a coffee or tell them I would add extra to the already generous tip but please leave us a few more minutes.
I really feel that customers are like herd, in and out. At times, it just doesn't make sense to me to eat out in the US unless it is fine dinning.
The noise level, the over intrusion of the servers, the empty plates that are taken when not the whole table is done. I always tell the server to keep the empty plates because it is makes the ones who didn't finish rush with their food.
Americans, by and large, are an impatient people. We don't like to be kept waiting - though there is an unfortunate tendency to not care whether we make others wait for us - and we expect a server to immediately clear the refuse from a table and bring us the bill quickly, so that we may leave as soon as we are ready. We may linger, but we don't like to be delayed if the bill hasn't yet been presented when we're ready to leave, so most servers err on the side of caution and present the bill when it seems that all ordering has been completed. Removing plates is not and should never be construed as an attempt to rush those who are not finished; rather, it is an attempt to keep the table neat and allow more space for those who wish to move on to dessert.
I think a lot of people get the wrong impression when a bill is presented earlier in the process than they wish. Having the bill presented doesn't mean, "Here, pay it and GET OUT!" It generally means, "Here you are, you may pay this and leave at any time that YOU wish to leave." They're being proactive, not pushy.
If you are a lingerer and wish to order something else after the bill has been presented, no problem; just order your coffee or dessert, and the server will either modify the bill or present a separate bill for the additional items.
As to noise levels, that is again a cultural difference. Americans are generally rather gregarious people, often to the point of boisterousness, and those from more reserved cultures are a little shocked at this tendency. But the relative noise level in a restaurant varies greatly with the type of restaurant; a fine dining establishment tends to be much quieter than a chain restaurant, and if you ever patronize a Golden Coral or Cactus Willies buffet, you better bring ear plugs. Dining out is a social activity for most Americans, and we tend to talk when we socialize.
Apr 4, 2015, 9:20 pm
#50
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: SNA
Posts: 18,240
I occasionally do evaluations at upscale restaurants and keeping the table clear of empty plates is always on the evaluation form. Generally they should offer coffee/tea/dessert before bringing the check.
Apr 5, 2015, 1:48 pm
#51
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: SNA
Programs: AAdvantage Gold, AS Mileage Plan, SPG Gold
Posts: 343
Having been in the restaurant business, I know there are usually 2 dinner periods in a restaurant, depending on the area/restaurant. Usually you can notice dinner crowds around 6pm-ish and another crowd starting around 8pm-ish. I tend to eat earlier rather than later, so I'm aware that the restaurant would like the table free for a second set of customers, so I usually don't linger. If my friends and I want to talk some more afterwards, we try to take it somewhere else, maybe a dessert place or Starbucks or something.
Apr 5, 2015, 1:52 pm
#52
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: SNA
Programs: AAdvantage Gold, AS Mileage Plan, SPG Gold
Posts: 343
This thread takes me back to Mumbai India. In restaurants ( not " fine" dining ambience but excellent food, we just had to congregate by the door. Eyeing all the tables and watch who is nearing the end of their meals ! If they dawdled around on the table we would go to the table and stand behind their chairs, non verbally encourage them to vacate 
Most times it worked to be shameless ^
Most times it worked to be shameless ^
Hah! That brought back memories back when I was a kid and my family used to vacation in Hong Kong. The dim sum restaurants (usually large tea house restaurants, I remember the Winton(sp?) in Mong Kok...) were like this. We would see who was about to pay their bill and stand by their table to "claim" it. This was the norm, so no shame here.^
Apr 5, 2015, 2:03 pm
#53
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: NY State
Posts: 212
My girlfriend and I will meet up and have been known to stay for a few hours - but the restaurant that we meet at is used to seeing us and usually seat us in an out of the way place and happily leave us alone - except for refreshing our drinks.
We usually are there during "off-hours", but if the restaurant is busy, and the weather permits, we will move outside to finish our visit.
We usually are there during "off-hours", but if the restaurant is busy, and the weather permits, we will move outside to finish our visit.
Apr 6, 2015, 12:19 am
#54
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,684
At an upscale restaurant, they should only bring you the check when you ask for it.