I was rocketed to Earth from a dying planet. Actually, the planet was OK, but it had no frequent flyer programs, so it was dead to me.

I landed in a field by a major fortress hub and was raised by a kindly city couple who taught me the values of Truth, Justice and the Delta Way.

In time I developed super powers. Among those were:

1) I can fly! In fact, I fly all the time.
2) I can time travel! I can leave Tokyo and 6PM on a Tuesday, and arrive in the United States before I left.

I found my one weakness was the middle seat of the economy section. In fact, any seat in economy causes me leg cramps and severe discomfort.

I also discover that the harmful rays of the economy section can be blocked by a mere curtain -- I then regain my full strength.

My people live on greasy mixed nuts served in small dishes. We refresh ourselves with small, hot towels.

After a youthful indiscretion with United, I have remained loyal to Delta, which provides for my needs.

I suspect there are others of my kind nearby...

OK, Well, I was a scientist, working on a way to solve world hunger by irradiating hops and barley with green gamma rays. You guessed it: I decided to use myself as a guniea pig and now, whenever I get mad (and or drink a few beers), I turn into:

The Incredible Drunk.

So now, I wander from state capitol to state capitol in search of a possible cure for my affliction. Typically I have to move on, though, since my alter ego tends to get me in trouble, and there is this pesky news reporter who keeps showing up (some kind of Cat-type man) and trying to get me to expose my alter ego by pouring beer down my throat.

In all, it's a lonely life on the road (cue sad solo piano theme) but with my trusty leather Coach bag in hand, I wander on...(cue credits).

HAPPY FRIDAY!

I am not a crook.

Me am from Bizarro World, where everything am backward. Me love Bizarro Flyer Talk, where everyone am rude and flame each other, and post about nothing to do with flying.

And the only poster who make sense am Bizarro arturo.

arturo es knot who we awl aint. arturo es arturo an arturo themk awl thes weerd posties mus ceese.

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loving, caring, honest, intelligent, empathetic, creative, and giving.