I am sorry to hear your baby was born early. I will definitely say a little prayer for your family tonight. I had a friend whose little boy was born at either week 25 or 26 (I can't remember) and wen through lots of scares at the hospital. I remember getting the email updates. Finally, 91 days later, little man went home. He is a happy, healthy, thriving first grader now. My only advice is to take it one day at a time. Good luck to you.
Congratulations Papa!
My kids were not preemie, but I had a couple friends who are preemie moms.
Honestly, If reasonably possible, I'd put off travel until your daughter comes home from the hospital. At that point, they're like a normal baby, but smaller
It will be enough of a transition when mrs hoyateach is home alone with both kids, but at least at that point they'll all be home.. and she won't be trying to divide her time between the hospital, home, and taking care of your oldest.
Having a trusted relative to stay with her is a possibility, depending on the person and how your wife interacts with them ... and you know her better than us. Will having someone else there be a help to her, both physically and emotionally? Or will she try to treat that person like a guest and feel guilty for taking help?
My kids were not preemie, but I had a couple friends who are preemie moms.
Honestly, If reasonably possible, I'd put off travel until your daughter comes home from the hospital. At that point, they're like a normal baby, but smaller
It will be enough of a transition when mrs hoyateach is home alone with both kids, but at least at that point they'll all be home.. and she won't be trying to divide her time between the hospital, home, and taking care of your oldest.
Having a trusted relative to stay with her is a possibility, depending on the person and how your wife interacts with them ... and you know her better than us. Will having someone else there be a help to her, both physically and emotionally? Or will she try to treat that person like a guest and feel guilty for taking help?
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Thank you for your well wishes. We have no family nearby but many friends in the area who have offered to help.Originally Posted by missydarlin
Having a trusted relative to stay with her is a possibility, depending on the person and how your wife interacts with them ... and you know her better than us. Will having someone else there be a help to her, both physically and emotionally? Or will she try to treat that person like a guest and feel guilty for taking help?
And I can't turn this interview down - it's for a full-time job I really want and would be great for our family.
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And I can't turn this interview down - it's for a full-time job I really want and would be great for our family.
Having followed your "job search" thread on OMNI, I understand your decision and wish you good luck with your family and your job search.Originally Posted by hoyateach
Thank you for your well wishes. We have no family nearby but many friends in the area who have offered to help.And I can't turn this interview down - it's for a full-time job I really want and would be great for our family.
Hoyateach -- No preemies here, but there are two rambunctious boys about 8 next door who were born at about the same gestational age as your daughter, and I love seeing them playing baseball, football, basketball, whatever in the yard next door, and constantly laughing. So, good luck.
Have some experience with traveling and serious medical conditions though. My son had 5 long hospitalizations in 6 months in 2004, when he was diagnosed with leukemia. We took turns spending 24/7 with him at the hospital, when he was inpatient for those many weeks. But as the full-time worker in the family, I also needed to make money, particularly with his older sister just starting at Princeton. So, we had to make tough decisions sometimes.
Once, he got sick when I was away at a conference (just in DC three hour drive from Philly), and had to be hospitalized on an emergency basis. I generate a lot of clients at these conferences. By the time my wife and I spoke, she said she had things in hand, and he was out of any immediate danger. (She's a pediatric nurse.) I stayed at the conference for another day, and then came home.
Good luck with everything, both your daughter, who I hope grows up to be a wonderful person, and with the job interview. Hopefully, you can get some assistance from good friends for that day or two.
Have some experience with traveling and serious medical conditions though. My son had 5 long hospitalizations in 6 months in 2004, when he was diagnosed with leukemia. We took turns spending 24/7 with him at the hospital, when he was inpatient for those many weeks. But as the full-time worker in the family, I also needed to make money, particularly with his older sister just starting at Princeton. So, we had to make tough decisions sometimes.
Once, he got sick when I was away at a conference (just in DC three hour drive from Philly), and had to be hospitalized on an emergency basis. I generate a lot of clients at these conferences. By the time my wife and I spoke, she said she had things in hand, and he was out of any immediate danger. (She's a pediatric nurse.) I stayed at the conference for another day, and then came home.
Good luck with everything, both your daughter, who I hope grows up to be a wonderful person, and with the job interview. Hopefully, you can get some assistance from good friends for that day or two.
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And I can't turn this interview down - it's for a full-time job I really want and would be great for our family.
Another thing to think about: are you and your family at a point in your life where you'd be able to move to another city and when?Originally Posted by hoyateach
Thank you for your well wishes. We have no family nearby but many friends in the area who have offered to help.And I can't turn this interview down - it's for a full-time job I really want and would be great for our family.
Just finding a place to live can be a stressful process, to say nothing of the stress from starting a new job.
We've moved cross country several times and it's never fun.
Bob H
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Just finding a place to live can be a stressful process, to say nothing of the stress from starting a new job.
We've moved cross country several times and it's never fun.
Bob H
My guess, having read hoyateach's job search thread over the past few years, is that the position probably wouldn't start for a few months at least, allowing them time to prepare. Originally Posted by BobH
Another thing to think about: are you and your family at a point in your life where you'd be able to move to another city and when?Just finding a place to live can be a stressful process, to say nothing of the stress from starting a new job.
We've moved cross country several times and it's never fun.
Bob H
I'd also think that family would step up to help.
I will be thinking about you and your family over the next few weeks/months. My best wishes to you.
Most neonatal ICUs have social workers and/or child life therapists who help families with this tremendous challenge. I would be sure the support staff of the NICU are aware of your challenges so they can offer suggestions and possibly support you and the rest of your family.
Now is the time to "circle the wagons." Find the most reasonable/grounded/stable member of your family or close friend and tell them you need them to fly in to help. Errands, child care, shopping, these are things family/friends can absolutely help with and many of them want to.
Again, my best wishes for a successful interview and excellent outcomes for your daughter!
Most neonatal ICUs have social workers and/or child life therapists who help families with this tremendous challenge. I would be sure the support staff of the NICU are aware of your challenges so they can offer suggestions and possibly support you and the rest of your family.
Now is the time to "circle the wagons." Find the most reasonable/grounded/stable member of your family or close friend and tell them you need them to fly in to help. Errands, child care, shopping, these are things family/friends can absolutely help with and many of them want to.
Again, my best wishes for a successful interview and excellent outcomes for your daughter!
We have a close friend who was born 35 years ago at 2lbs. She's grown into a wonderful adult without any effects from being born so small. Frankly, I didn't realize the technology was that good back then, but it's obviously even better now.
I think you're good to go and, like others have stated, now is the time to call in favors and use your miles where necessary. Have you said how long you will be gone?
As a parent of premies (although nowhere near as early as yours), you're in our thoughts.
Don't forget one thing: While we snipe at each other occasionally on FT, we are a community. You now have friends all over the country (and world, for that matter) whom you have never met but are ready at the drop of a hat to help you if you have local needs.
Mike
I think you're good to go and, like others have stated, now is the time to call in favors and use your miles where necessary. Have you said how long you will be gone?
As a parent of premies (although nowhere near as early as yours), you're in our thoughts.
Don't forget one thing: While we snipe at each other occasionally on FT, we are a community. You now have friends all over the country (and world, for that matter) whom you have never met but are ready at the drop of a hat to help you if you have local needs.
Mike
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Mike
^ Originally Posted by mikeef
Don't forget one thing: While we snipe at each other occasionally on FT, we are a community. You now have friends all over the country (and world, for that matter) whom you have never met but are ready at the drop of a hat to help you if you have local needs.Mike
Mike is right. You have a community of people all over who will help you if you say the word.
Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, hoyateach! I am sorry it is under such scary circumstances, but let me reassure you that happy endings are possible.
As a family doctor including OB in my practice, my premie experience relates to my patients. One of my patients went into labor at 25 weeks and her labor couldn't be stopped. The NICU staff were there for the delivery, but the baby was quite vigorous and didn't need much resuscitation as he weighed 750 grams and had Apgar scores of 8 and 9, pretty amazing for such a little, early guy. Though he had a lengthy NICU course with a few ups and downs, he survived and thrived, and was totally normal by the time he started school.
As for your practical question, is it possible for you to use a refundable ticket for your interview trip? Or buy a fully refundable one way return ticket that you can use if need be? That way you could fly home immediately should the need arise. Like many doctors who deliver babies, I am somewhat superstitious; if you are prepared to return home for an emergency, it won't happen.
Some of my "premie parents" take minimal maternity (or paternity) leave immediately after the birth, getting back to normal work and school routine pretty quickly. The NICU staff will be doing all the baby care 24/7 anyway, so they save their leave/vacation time for when the baby comes home from the hospital for all the usual newborn homecoming activities.
Having followed your job search all this long while, I can fully understand your need to travel to the interview despite the precarious situation at home; on balance the job opportunity is so worth it to you and your family.
Please PM me if I can help with any specifics. And remember you have many other FlyerTalk friends around who will help you any way that we can - just let us know what you need.
As a family doctor including OB in my practice, my premie experience relates to my patients. One of my patients went into labor at 25 weeks and her labor couldn't be stopped. The NICU staff were there for the delivery, but the baby was quite vigorous and didn't need much resuscitation as he weighed 750 grams and had Apgar scores of 8 and 9, pretty amazing for such a little, early guy. Though he had a lengthy NICU course with a few ups and downs, he survived and thrived, and was totally normal by the time he started school.
As for your practical question, is it possible for you to use a refundable ticket for your interview trip? Or buy a fully refundable one way return ticket that you can use if need be? That way you could fly home immediately should the need arise. Like many doctors who deliver babies, I am somewhat superstitious; if you are prepared to return home for an emergency, it won't happen.
Some of my "premie parents" take minimal maternity (or paternity) leave immediately after the birth, getting back to normal work and school routine pretty quickly. The NICU staff will be doing all the baby care 24/7 anyway, so they save their leave/vacation time for when the baby comes home from the hospital for all the usual newborn homecoming activities.
Having followed your job search all this long while, I can fully understand your need to travel to the interview despite the precarious situation at home; on balance the job opportunity is so worth it to you and your family.
Please PM me if I can help with any specifics. And remember you have many other FlyerTalk friends around who will help you any way that we can - just let us know what you need.
Stumbled onto this article and referenced blog and thought of you. Hoping next Christmas is free of hospital visits for you!
http://www.ydr.com/local/ci_22258625...ce=most_viewed
http://www.yorkblog.com/smart/catego...and-expecting/
http://www.ydr.com/local/ci_22258625...ce=most_viewed
http://www.yorkblog.com/smart/catego...and-expecting/
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I think you're good to go and, like others have stated, now is the time to call in favors and use your miles where necessary. Have you said how long you will be gone?
As a parent of premies (although nowhere near as early as yours), you're in our thoughts.
Don't forget one thing: While we snipe at each other occasionally on FT, we are a community. You now have friends all over the country (and world, for that matter) whom you have never met but are ready at the drop of a hat to help you if you have local needs.
Mike
Originally Posted by mikeef
We have a close friend who was born 35 years ago at 2lbs. She's grown into a wonderful adult without any effects from being born so small. Frankly, I didn't realize the technology was that good back then, but it's obviously even better now.I think you're good to go and, like others have stated, now is the time to call in favors and use your miles where necessary. Have you said how long you will be gone?
As a parent of premies (although nowhere near as early as yours), you're in our thoughts.
Don't forget one thing: While we snipe at each other occasionally on FT, we are a community. You now have friends all over the country (and world, for that matter) whom you have never met but are ready at the drop of a hat to help you if you have local needs.
Mike
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Mike is right. You have a community of people all over who will help you if you say the word.
I do not have the words to express how profoundly grateful I am that so many FTers have responded to this thread and/or reach out to me privately.Originally Posted by kipper
^ Mike is right. You have a community of people all over who will help you if you say the word.
The news continues to be good, although my little one does suffer setbacks with alarming frequency. The overall trend, however, is positive and we hope this trend continues.
I may well find myself asking for help, which is difficult for me to do. If it were just for me, I'd suck it up. For my kids, though... well, where my kids are concerned, I have no pride. I will rob, kill, or f*** whoever I need to ensure their health and safety.
...you know, I should put that on my card. Or maybe my FT signature.
And yes, kipper, my upcoming interview is for a job that starts next summer. I'd love to get it but we'll see how it goes.
Thank you all.
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The news continues to be good, although my little one does suffer setbacks with alarming frequency. The overall trend, however, is positive and we hope this trend continues.
I may well find myself asking for help, which is difficult for me to do. If it were just for me, I'd suck it up. For my kids, though... well, where my kids are concerned, I have no pride. I will rob, kill, or f*** whoever I need to ensure their health and safety.
...you know, I should put that on my card. Or maybe my FT signature.
And yes, kipper, my upcoming interview is for a job that starts next summer. I'd love to get it but we'll see how it goes.
Thank you all.
A positive trend is a good thing!Originally Posted by hoyateach
I do not have the words to express how profoundly grateful I am that so many FTers have responded to this thread and/or reach out to me privately.The news continues to be good, although my little one does suffer setbacks with alarming frequency. The overall trend, however, is positive and we hope this trend continues.
I may well find myself asking for help, which is difficult for me to do. If it were just for me, I'd suck it up. For my kids, though... well, where my kids are concerned, I have no pride. I will rob, kill, or f*** whoever I need to ensure their health and safety.
...you know, I should put that on my card. Or maybe my FT signature.
And yes, kipper, my upcoming interview is for a job that starts next summer. I'd love to get it but we'll see how it goes.
Thank you all.
While it takes strength to suck it up and muddle through, it takes more strength to ask for help, so you're stronger than you may think.
Good luck on the job interview!