GUWonder

Or act as if only conversant in some foreign language not intelligible to the TSA clerk asking the name question. Repeating responses -- distinct from answers -- in Finnish (or some other language not known by the particular TSA clerk asking the name question to you) may accomplish just about the same.

Vidiot

I may give them my name. And my parents' names. And ask them if they happen to know any of my family -- did you know my grandparents? Here's where they were born, and where all my cousins live now, and here's all the family history and gossip. And here's my shoe size, my girlfriend's favorite movies, my mother's best recipe, and I'll describe which dresser drawer I keep clean socks in, and, and, and...

If they want personal information about me, I can certainly give them a wealth of information that won't compromise my security but would hopefully bore them into submission.

alia

Ugh. Disturbing.

Interesting tactic. Outlines of potential scripts are coming together in my mind...wonder if I could pull off the nervously overchatty non-terrorist flyer. It would be a stretch, for sure.

RichardKenner

Commonly used when a telemarketer starts with "how are you today?" Start with how your toes feel and work upwards ...

FliesWay2Much

I may start talking about my genital warts -- I think it might be herpes, but I'm not sure -- they stopped oozing the other day.

Pluma

This is an example of just adding more nonsense when they have no clue about true security. I have seen it many times. When someone is totally incompetent they start making stuff up to appear to know what they are doing.
The sad part is that TSA probably thinks this is somehow helping.
To all the rest of us, it only shows their ignorance and how silly the whole operation is.

sbagdon

It only really works in person, yet my best response is "terrible", and then just stare at them. And heaven save you if you ever ask how I'm feeling, and I don't want to be in a conversation with you...

Forget that. External thrombosed hemorrhoids is a much better conversation starter.

RichardKenner

Oh, no, it works by phone quite well, especially if the response to the expected attempt to cut you off by the telemarketer is "Now don't go interrupting me, young man! Didn't your mother ever teach you manners?"

FliesWay2Much

Like these????? (Not Safe For Weak Stomachs!)

Cool! I'll rehearse something before my next trip. If I opt out, I'll warn my groper I have some and that he might make them burst -- sort of redefines "resistance."

KDS

The very few times I answer the screener's question about "How are you today?", my reply is "Normal." or "Don't know yet." I then stand silent.

However, I have to be in a really good mood to even give these responses.

Wimpie

Here's the three innocuous questions they will be asking:

"Would you like fries with that?"

"Would you like to super-size it?"

"What kind of drink do you want?"

FliesWay2Much

I had to make a quick trip to the west coast and found myself in the NOS/groping queue at Dulles. While I was waiting my turn at the ID checker desk, I looked to the line to my left when I heard a clerk say, "Say your first and last name!" I looked over to my left and saw a young mother with two young daughters. The *itch female clerk (in every sense of the word) sternly looked at each kid and issued the command noted above. One daughter had to answer three times before the clerk was satisfied. The female clerk then broke into a fake smile while looking at the mother and said, "Thank you. You are free to go." 20/20 hindsight says that I should hold on to my iPhone to the last minute in order to capture these moments. I'm more concerned about a clerk stealing it, so it's hidden long before I get to the checkpoint.

While I fully expect the TSA clerks to be always looking for the Big Catch, I was disappointed by the mother just standing there allowing this interrogation to take place.

Is it just me, or do you guys get really p$$sed by this?


Epilogue: I did get some measure of revenge. By the time I got to the NOS and was making my opt-out decision, I noticed that the female clerk who interrogated the kids was now at the entrance of the NOS. That sealed the deal and I decided to go through the NOS. She told me to place my feet on the yellow markers. I intentionally came up short in the spread. Once again, she told me to place my feet on the yellow markers. I told her, "I'm doing the best I can. I have some genital warts that are really oozing right now." She looked at me in shock as I exited the NOS. I looked at her and said, "Well, if you interrogate young children, I just assumed you needed to know exactly why I couldn't spread my legs." She didn't get it.

saizai

IMHO: not helpful to do this.

Boggie Dog

Not helpful only because the screener was lacking the intelligence to understand,

petaluma1

Of course she didn't get it, she's a TSA clerk. But thank you for your efforts. Did you by any chance get her name?

That sounds as if the clerk was detaining them.