101 Ways to make the screener feel uncomfortable
#46
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Fresno
Posts: 195
Something to think about before saying anything:
http://www.fedcrimlaw.com/visitors/p.../08-29-05.html
read the first paragraph on Rendon and follow the link
http://www.fedcrimlaw.com/visitors/p.../08-29-05.html
read the first paragraph on Rendon and follow the link
Cali
#49
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Wherever liberty is threatened
Programs: TSA Disparager Silver
Posts: 314
Chugger's was 50.
Here's 51.
Utilikilt (for the men) or Skirt (for the women) + No Underwear + Big dinner of beans the night before + holding it for as long as you can that morning = cutting a huge one with solid particulate just as the clerk reaches up your thighs.
If they react, you have many ready excuses:
gay panic
instinctive reaction to being molested
irritable bowel
active diarrhea
Here's 51.
Utilikilt (for the men) or Skirt (for the women) + No Underwear + Big dinner of beans the night before + holding it for as long as you can that morning = cutting a huge one with solid particulate just as the clerk reaches up your thighs.
If they react, you have many ready excuses:
gay panic
instinctive reaction to being molested
irritable bowel
active diarrhea
#51
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: yyj
Posts: 41
A few years back, a German guy named Gunther had a runaway internet hit. From what I can remember, the intro went: "Oooooh, you touched my tralala, my ding ding dong". If you have the the 70's porno mustache to go along with it, even better.
#52
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Wherever liberty is threatened
Programs: TSA Disparager Silver
Posts: 314
Well, if we're doing music, we could also take the opposite approach and play "It's a small world after all".
Or we could just get creepy and play the Barney theme song. Get a version with Barney singing it, even his voice is creepy. "I love you, you love me..."
Or we could just get creepy and play the Barney theme song. Get a version with Barney singing it, even his voice is creepy. "I love you, you love me..."
#53
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: yyj
Posts: 41
Link to the Gunther song/video (NSFW!!!!!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbYtqAWDF2U
#56
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Wherever liberty is threatened
Programs: TSA Disparager Silver
Posts: 314
#57
Join Date: Mar 2007
Programs: AA 1MM
Posts: 3,182
53. Men, upon entering the penalty box, begin "self-gratifying." When the TSO asks what you're doing, explain "Just warming it up for you, looks like the line's pretty long and I don't want you to have to spend too much time on me."
#58
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Marriott or Hilton hot tub with a big drink <glub> Beverage: To-Go Bag DYKWIA: SSSS /rolleyes ☈ Date Night: Costco
Programs: Sea Shell Lounge Platinum, TSA Pre✓ Refusnik Diamond, PWP Gold, FT subset of the subset
Posts: 12,509
Do you remember the part in the movie The Right Stuff when the astronauts were instructed to provide "samples". Start humming "Wild Blue Yonder" like they did in the mens room scene.
#59
Join Date: Jul 2008
Programs: I am a lowly ant
Posts: 1,751