seriously, I think if you ask the CSO if your wife can downgrade to J so that you guys can sit together, you might have a better chance to get an opup.

Let me put in gently to you... if you dare ask for an upgrade, the chances are that you as a AAdvantage passenger will be put way down the list. CX GAs really don't like AAdvantage people asking for freebie upgrades. - insider knowledge.

If you really want to be guaranteed to sit in F, well, pay for the difference.

Otherwise, honestly what harm is it to be seperated by a couple of hours in a different cabin?

So, my wife and I just finished a trip in a similar situation. She was in First on miles, I was in business on a paid ticket. I inquired as to what it would take to upgrade so we could sit together (not assuming it would be free, but hoping maybe someone would take pity) -- they told me $4,000 for the one-way segment of HKG to YYZ. Okay, not going to do that out of my pocket. Business was half empty, so no chance of an op-up, and as an AA PLT, probably very unlikely anyway.

So, it turned out she was the only person in First. This allowed me to come up into First from time-to-time to check in on her and talk (I would never have tried to do this if anyone else had been up there). I was in 11K, so right beyond the curtain.

She could have sat in business, but in the old configuration you're not really sitting together anyway, so I encouraged her to stay in F and enjoy the service. I was a little jealous, being in J, but it was still nice.

I think this is a pretty good example of how to act in this type of situation...

Thanks, this is actually a valuable advice post, just what I was hoping to find here.

Really, what's with the reading comprehension issue here? Where is it mentioned I want to be guaranteed to sit in F? I agree 100% that if one wants an F seat, then book an F seat... I asked about odds and CX process and decision making, due to my lack of technical/specific information and experience with CX.

dont mind those harsh words. i do agree with chentaiman tht the best way to be sitting with your wife is to ask for a downgrade. just think that the value of miles in F is still cheaper than buying the cheapest J ticket.

oh dangit. just as i'm writing this the firewall in my company is fixed and i cant see the images again.

Because you were told pretty much off the bat that it wouldn't happen and you continued to ask questions about this situation or that situation. Despite your intentions, it really sounded like some sort of entitlement. And that's when the posts started getting harsh. Justifiably, IMHO.

If they do accept your proposal to downgrade, you may be stuck with it. There is a good chance that they may do so, as your original neighbour is very likely willing to accept such a swap.

Maybe "better" but likely still negligible.

Just to come back and close it out, F was totally full (all six seats)... wife sat in F and I sat in J, but I asked the purser if I could sit in the mini-seat in my wife's cube for the dinner service and I'd leave immediately after desert, and she replied "sure!" although the FA doing the service showed she was not happy at all.

I have to add, on this trip I was able to experience the old 777 A and the new 777 D seats, and while the A is like a coffin, the seat itself was very comfortable for sleeping. The new D is a very nice seat, too, but I didn't try to sleep during my daytime flight.

It is nice to read that the two of you enjoyed a nice meal together but I find it odd that if you both really wanted to sit together why did you not ask the person next to you in J to swap the F class seat with your wife???

Well, first, there is no person next to you in the herringbone configuration, or in the coffin seat... and second you're not really allowed to swap seats as if we're giong to free up an F seat in advance there's a procedure for determining who gets to move up (not ther person next to me) and if done onboard the FA has issues, and last we figured given those issues, since we're "paying" for her F she might as well enjoy it.

But, yes, very nice of them to allow us to dine together, I agree.

An excellent post indeed. My other half does this a lot and really considers it a treat - she knows I get to go on first a lot, so it is not so much of a treat for me, but she really appreciates it. In many cases, she is glad to have peace and quiet from me when we are in different parts of the plane!

Thanks for wrapping this up for us and congrats on how it went on your trip. I think what happened to you was the next best thing in having an op-up. You were very smart in asking ahead of time and lucky in terms of whom you asked. And by purser, do you mean the head steward? Some head stewards can be harsh on this issue. As you know, they are very very sensative in having people walking up to even just talking to their friend(s) up front.

I had a 5-year anniversary upgrade (HKG-JFK given at Check-in) 2 yrs ago when I was traveling with a very good friend of mine. They would not upgrade my friend so I made sure I have the very last seat in J (26K, I think! pretty much next to the bathroom on the old config) so my friend could come up once in a while to chat w/ little interruption to the J cabin. No, no, no! She was asked to leave immediately by the head steward, both times she was up.