Grumpy old git in T5 RANT!!!

Old Feb 18, 15, 1:45 am
  #1  
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Grumpy old git in T5 RANT!!!

Some days just seem to pee you off...

Security, waiting and waiting as changing staff, beeping randomly set every 2 people, morons in front who leave belts on and coins in pockets, the entire FT Process is utterly screwed up and designed for new levels of inefficiency.

Boots moved so you have to walk all the way across the airport, no doubt to pass the shops.

Staff in smiths chatting refusing to open the till so everyone queues for the one working and very annoying machine thing.

Queues of people buying in Boots, Smiths n Duty Free, most not having their boarding pass so stopping everyone

Family's just standing blocking exits or entrances, kids screaming...

Bacon in Gold First , 90% fat, toast solid and dry, maybe it's drywall cut in small squares.

Americans talking very loud and generally annoying everyone. The whole lounge does not want to know your sister has got pregnant, so stop shouting about it, and really, no one cares about the fact you have a new cabin bag.

Arrrgggg... I need a chill pill as everything in this hell hole of a terminal is peeing me off...

233, window seat, divider up... LEAVE ME ALONE!!!, or bring me a whisky
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Old Feb 18, 15, 1:48 am
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The irony is that Boots has moved to provide more security capacity which will hopefully resolve the 'inefficient' security at least partly.

For all your other points.. Happy Wednesday
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Old Feb 18, 15, 1:57 am
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Originally Posted by Behindthecurtain View Post
...............

Security, waiting and waiting as changing staff, beeping randomly set every 2 people, morons in front who leave belts on and coins in pockets, the entire FT Process is utterly screwed up and designed for new levels of inefficiency.

............
Learn from Ryan Bingham (aka George Clooney)
"Never get behind old people. Their bodies are littered with hidden metal and they never seem to appreciate how little time they have left. Bingo, Asians. They pack light, travel efficiently, and they have a thing for slip on shoes. Gotta love 'em. "
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Old Feb 18, 15, 1:57 am
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Originally Posted by Behindthecurtain View Post
... LEAVE ME ALONE!!!, or bring me a whisky
A large one, me thinks! I thought Uncle T was supposed to be the grumpy old man in these parts?
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Old Feb 18, 15, 2:15 am
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Originally Posted by Behindthecurtain View Post
Boots moved so you have to walk all the way across the airport, no doubt to pass the shops.
Somewhat ironic, given that Boots is, itself, a shop. And the implication that Boots is the one lure in T5 - the one sure thing that will draw the crowds past said shops - gave me a good old laugh.

Originally Posted by Behindthecurtain View Post
Family's just standing blocking exits or entrances, kids screaming...
Maybe they were just looking for a way to get rid of their un-needed apostrophe...
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Old Feb 18, 15, 2:16 am
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Two words: HALF. TERM. The airport is bound to be crowded with less frequent fliers who don't know the ropes as well as you...

BUT I do understand how you feel and when I get to the point I start to feel really stressed by crowds and the slowness of others I mentally go to my "happy place". I don't mean to sound patronising but sometimes thinking of things that makes you laugh can help get your through a tedious security queue (I think of Black Adder scenes which always makes me chuckle to myself) It passes the time and puts you in a better mood.

And things could definitely be worse. You could be stuck in the terminal in a crowded seating area looking forward to a loooooong flight in Y!!

C'mon, Make yourself have a lovely day
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Old Feb 18, 15, 2:22 am
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Originally Posted by Fly Baby View Post
(I think of Black Adder scenes which always makes me chuckle to myself) It passes the time and puts you in a better mood.

And freaks out everyone around you just a little. Also fun on the Tube
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Old Feb 18, 15, 2:28 am
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Originally Posted by Behindthecurtain View Post
Some days just seem to pee you off...

Security, waiting and waiting as changing staff, beeping randomly set every 2 people, morons in front who leave belts on and coins in pockets, the entire FT Process is utterly screwed up and designed for new levels of inefficiency.

Boots moved so you have to walk all the way across the airport, no doubt to pass the shops.

Staff in smiths chatting refusing to open the till so everyone queues for the one working and very annoying machine thing.

Queues of people buying in Boots, Smiths n Duty Free, most not having their boarding pass so stopping everyone

Family's just standing blocking exits or entrances, kids screaming...

Bacon in Gold First , 90% fat, toast solid and dry, maybe it's drywall cut in small squares.

Americans talking very loud and generally annoying everyone. The whole lounge does not want to know your sister has got pregnant, so stop shouting about it, and really, no one cares about the fact you have a new cabin bag.

Arrrgggg... I need a chill pill as everything in this hell hole of a terminal is peeing me off...

233, window seat, divider up... LEAVE ME ALONE!!!, or bring me a whisky
They are not toast, they are projectiles to throw at the loud people on the phone.
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Old Feb 18, 15, 2:29 am
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Smile

Originally Posted by Behindthecurtain View Post
Some days just seem to pee you off...

Security, waiting and waiting as changing staff, beeping randomly set every 2 people, morons in front who leave belts on and coins in pockets, the entire FT Process is utterly screwed up and designed for new levels of inefficiency.

Boots moved so you have to walk all the way across the airport, no doubt to pass the shops.

Staff in smiths chatting refusing to open the till so everyone queues for the one working and very annoying machine thing.

Queues of people buying in Boots, Smiths n Duty Free, most not having their boarding pass so stopping everyone

Family's just standing blocking exits or entrances, kids screaming...

Bacon in Gold First , 90% fat, toast solid and dry, maybe it's drywall cut in small squares.

Americans talking very loud and generally annoying everyone. The whole lounge does not want to know your sister has got pregnant, so stop shouting about it, and really, no one cares about the fact you have a new cabin bag.

Arrrgggg... I need a chill pill as everything in this hell hole of a terminal is peeing me off...

233, window seat, divider up... LEAVE ME ALONE!!!, or bring me a whisky
AAAAAAAAAAAAnnnnnd..................relax.



There's nothing like letting off steam..
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Old Feb 18, 15, 2:34 am
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I never get stressed by security, it's there for a reason, if you have such a problem with passing through the terminal go elsewhere? Get a boat?
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Old Feb 18, 15, 2:35 am
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I don't get security in T5. A few more polite notices would surely make the whole process quicker? And why the random beeps*? The old post 9/11 US system (SSSS on the boarding pass) actually worked really well, at the airports where I got caught out**.

* Well they do random beeps at MAN, as well, but it doesn't seem nearly so disruptive (perhaps because MAN has the perv scanner)?

** Didn't hold up me (if anything, it gave me priority) and didn't hold up other passengers.
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Old Feb 18, 15, 2:39 am
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Originally Posted by Genius1 View Post
The irony is that Boots has moved to provide more security capacity which will hopefully resolve the 'inefficient' security at least partly.

The only think that is needed to resolve delays at security is more staff! I've never been through security at T5 with anything like all the security lanes open. Better training for the staff would help too - I was left wondering what was going on the other day when the member of staff at the front of my security line simply walked off and bags stopped going through. After waiting a few minutes I called over to her colleague who said that there was a problem with the machine that they were just trying to fix. Problems with machines happen, but please COMMUNICATE with passengers. It would have been quicker to open the adjacent security line (which wasn't staffed) than to waste time trying to fix a machine on the blink.
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Old Feb 18, 15, 2:45 am
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Originally Posted by Jamier45 View Post
I never get stressed by security, it's there for a reason, if you have such a problem with passing through the terminal go elsewhere? Get a boat?
Furthermore our intrepid traveller is also a regular, I'm not at all sure this mindset is doing him much good.

Smile, be sweet to everyone, be a gentleman, exercise the qualities of patience, charity and hope - and I promise you life is soooo much easier. [But I must admit I am not a huge fan of Spring Half Term, I've long learned to be elsewhere!]
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Old Feb 18, 15, 2:51 am
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Originally Posted by Behindthecurtain View Post
Queues of people buying in Boots, Smiths n Duty Free, most not having their boarding pass so stopping everyone
Actually I wondered about this, if you're just buying something generic (ie not duty free) what is the purpose behind asking for the boarding pass (tracking?) and can you refuse to show it?
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Old Feb 18, 15, 3:13 am
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Originally Posted by ptr120 View Post
The only think that is needed to resolve delays at security is more staff! I've never been through security at T5 with anything like all the security lanes open. ....
It depends.

Take Monday this week - every single scanner at Security South was open - each was manned, and there were more staff arriving to assist (they were waiting by their allocation desk in the centre of the scanning area). And yet there were very long queues. I'm genuinely not sure what could be done - I know people suggest more scanners, but there's already quite a lot at Security South (when - like in this situation - they are all in use).

I'd go so far as to bemoan the removal of Boots for even more space for the scanners.
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