Are you serious? You must be a very slight sleeper if the "noise" of one sheet of paper being slid under the door wakes you up. I feel sorry for you. In my opinion, the lack of express check-out in most places outside the U.S. is the real pity. It's a real time-saver.

I suppose that a newspaper clumsily dropped could cause a "thud," though I luckily haven't had that experience, as far as I can recall.