Frequent Flyer Porn - Scared Straight
Jun 11, 2012, 12:52 pm
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Probably somewhere in Economy Class
Programs: Lufthansa, United, Hilton, Marriott, Hyatt
Posts: 1,805
Frequent Flyer Porn - Scared Straight
If you haven’t already done so, you may want to read the prequel to this current thread entitled “Elite Frequent Flyer Porn - Does It Exist???” wherein we saddle up and probe this titillating question in search of a suitable answer. From the comments (keep it clean folks) I believe the jury is still leaning both ways on the subject.
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/trip-...oes-exist.html
In light of this general ambivalence, I will continue with my trip report from where we last left off. Let’s see, hmmmm… Anthony Bourdain, Medium Raw, Food Porn, Travel Porn, Top Flyer… oh yes my May/June foodie trip to Paris, France.
As readers will recall from my previous post, I had deliberately selected to fly Lufthansa from SFO > FRA > CDG in an attempt to experience the worst possible Economy Class meal aboard any airline, anywhere in the world thus elevating my appreciation of French cuisine all the more upon my arrival in Paris. I am pleased to say that neither Lufthansa nor Paris disappointed in either case.
Check it out, Row 57 Seat A aboard Lufthansa’s flagship A380! Okay, so it wasn’t exactly Seat 2A; but I was finally in front of the frickin’ wing where my view was back towards the engine cowl and spinning turbine rather than the more familiar a$$ end/exhaust view of most Rolls Royce and GE engines I’ve had through the years. Nevertheless, I was still in the A380’s basement ghetto sandwiched somewhere between the cargo hold below me and the slap and tickle fest upstairs in the First Class cabin. They call it Steerage Class in the nautical industry, right? My seat also had a pretty decent view of the blue curtained staircase separating the elites upstairs from the plebes in the basement. Over the course of 10+ hours I noticed that some FC passengers actually descended to the bowels of the plane (probably on a dare, double dare from other FC passengers) for a quick peek at those of us slumming in the ’Hood (you know… to see how the other half – or more accurately the other 99% live) before retreating upstairs to the safety of their lay flat seats. Voyeuristic sickos. But I digress…
Despite the total lack of amenities in Economy Class, there is a least one perk which a budget traveler can always count on. A seemingly insignificant, yet important, piece of leverage which can lift a lowly ghetto traveler like myself ever so slightly above their fellow cheap-a$$ brethren. The advantage of which I speak is ordering a Special Meal which ensures that one will be downing mouthfuls of tasteless crap with a shrink wrapped spork long before their seatmates are asked whether they want Chicken or Pasta. In my case I carefully studied all of Lufthansa’s meal options well in advance of my departure date and chose the “Vegetarian Meal” thinking it was the worst possible choice I could have made… I was wrong. Imagine the surprise I had when my friendly neighborhood flight attendant “Heidi” showed up next to my seat and chirped “Guten Tag”. Well, her name actually wasn’t Heidi, but if I squinted my eyes and pretended just a little she sounded exactly like supermodel Heidi Klum, even looked like her too with the blond ponytail, just shorter, but still kind of a babe… but I digress again.
Anyways, Heidi said to me (double and triple checking the notes on the page she was holding), “Mr. Aussie you ordered a special mee-wel?”
I told her, “Why yes, indeed I did” Feeling a minor rush as my passenger status began to gently rise above the other ghetto travelers seated around me.
Heidi chirped, “I’ll be wight back”
With great anticipation I lowered my tray table down and waited for Heidi to return with my special meal. Sure enough, moments later Heidi appeared holding a flimsy beige Lufthansa tray of “food” which was already off-gassing culinary badness and announced, “Mr. Aussie, here’s your Vegan mee-wel”.
I don’t think I verbalized it out loud, but I did think “What the bleep? I ordered a Vegetarian Meal not a Vegan Meal. In fact I didn’t even know that Vegan was an option on Lufthansa”. I was going to complain to Heidi but she was already moving on to more important things.
A bit more chirping and Heidi asked me, “Someting to dwink? Perhaps some Beeyah or Vine? Vhite Vine? Redda Vine? Vassa? Still Vassa? Gassa Vassa?”
Surveying the tray of food before me I slowly began to appreciate the accidental good fortune I had just encountered by receiving a Vegan meal. Now I’m no expert, but if I remembered correctly, in order to be considered a Vegan meal all the ingredients must have died of natural causes prior to being used in a recipe; and from the looks of the Vegan meal in front of me this was certainly the case save for a remarkably well preserved chickpea lying on top which must have committed some form of permissible suicide which still allowed it to be classified as a Vegan foodstuff.
Looking at my food tray again I noticed the entrée of oversalted dry cumin rice, watery zucchini chunks, mushy tomato parts with diced onion in a yellowish oil, limp collard greens, the chickpea (may it rest in peace), minced salad comprised of lifeless corn, bell pepper, potato and other miscellaneous veggie bits, a wheat roll plus a strawberry for dessert. I wondered, what beverage should I choose to accompany this macabre memento mori to airline food? A beer (particularly a Foster’s) would probably improve the meal as would the red or white wine. But this meal was meant to be B-A-D, bad and I intended to keep it that way, so Bee-yah and Vine were Auf Wiedersehen from the available choices of drink. That left me with the following two options: Still Vassa or Gassa Vassa. Given the extraordinarily high likelihood of intestinal upset from this particular meal, I was certain that drinking Gassa Vassa would simply be adding insult to injury with the inevitable cropdusting my seatmates would experience from Seat 57A for the next 7 hours. As such, I thought it wise to go with the Still Vassa whose label rather oddly read “Rich in Gout”. Not sure if the bottler meant Gout the disease or something else, but it tasted like plain water to me.
Having done her duty, Heidi chirped “Danke Schoen” before walking away.
"No Heidi… really… truly, Danke Schoen to you” for delivering to me what would become the absolute worst meal served at the highest altitude and fastest speed aboard the largest passenger jet in history that I’ve ever had. Heidi, for that “I Thank You” because that Vegan meal SUCKED ROYAL!!! I only wish that someone from the Guinness Book of World Records was there to watch me polish off that tray of (expletive deleted) and at least give me some kudos for my trouble. Oh well, no such luck. Guess I’ll just have to settle for being another anonymous and unsung hero in the annals of world food history.
Needless to say, getting to Paris was only half the fun and the city of gustatory delight did exactly that… delight in many sensuous and sensory ways.
As if a sign from the pantheon of food gods, I was amused to note that on day one of my trip the very first thing I saw after emerging from the Hotel de Ville Metro station was a local Parisian man wearing a tee-shirt emblazoned with the Golden Arches logo and the word “Mc$hit” printed below it. Seeing this I knew I had definitely arrived in the right place, the mecca of fine food. With this divine message from food heaven, I knew that the ground rules had been laid - there would be no McAnything for me on this trip.
Rather curiously, my first foodie stop after breakfast was for dessert at the world famous Berthillon ice cream shop on Ile St. Louis in the 1st Arr. where I set another personal record for the most money ever spent on some golf ball sized servings of ice cream. Something like 6 bucks a pop but it was damn good. If you visit Berthillon and want the perfect triumvirate of glaces try the following: Pain d'Epices, Banane, and Chocolat Noir all complementary flavors and most excellent when mixed and matched on the spoon and tongue. The seasonal fresh Figue glace was an unfortunate choice as was the other one which I forget (Pasion something?), but I’m willing to overlook these poor choices in favor of the other more favorable flavors I discovered.
Maison Berthillon: http://www.berthillon.fr/mag/fr/page-112732.htm
Another good stop for foodies in Paris is a nut house (chez nut?) in a gritty neighborhood about a block from the Pompidou Centre called La Pistacherie on Rue Rambuteau. Actually it is a shop devoted to specialty nut blends and fruits including a “French” Trail Mix with Tibetan Goji Berries which I didn’t try, but it looked interesting. By the way, the nuts at Pistacherie will likely put all those American Airline’s First Class "warm salty nuts" appetizers which people posted on Top Flyer to shame. But you realize that I speculate heavily on this point since I’ve never flown in American’s FC (or any other FC cabin) … yet.
La Pistacherie: http://www.lapistacherie.eu/
The macaroons at the renowned patisserie Laduree were excellent if not a bit cloying and pricey to boot.
Laduree: http://www.laduree.fr/en/fabricant/produits/macarons
Alas, I wish I had found the following a bit sooner but I did make my way to the gourmet food emporium at Galeries Lafayette on Boulevard Haussman in the 9th Arr. towards the end of my trip. The gran epicierie had sections devoted to colorful and aromatic cones of spices which look like they’d been lifted right out of a Middle Eastern market; every imaginable type of yogurt and cheese; breads; jams, honeys and just plain excellent food at every turn including Mediterranean and Thai takeaway kiosks. My advice for summer travelers, get a picnic spread (falafel, tzatziki, hummus, dolmas) from here and Metro yourself straight to the nearest Paris Plage for a memorable meal by the Seine. You can get these same foodstuffs near St. Severin on the Left Bank, but I’ll bet you the ones at Galeries Lafayette are better.
Galeries Lafayette: http://www.galerieslafayette.com/
Not to sound like a hypocrite, but I did have a 4.50 Euro caffee latte at the McCafe on the Champs Elysees; but my decision to go there was based solely on the cheap price and people watching the location afforded and nothing more. Anyways, I don’t think this McDiversion counts because it wasn’t a burger and fries (frittes en Francais).
For those seeking a good (not great mind you) café crème at a reasonable price with an unparalleled 360 view, may I suggest the Roof Terrace (Le Deli Cieux) on the 7th floor of Printemps near Galeries Lafayette. Give the cashier 2.70 Euro and receive a brass token to put into the espresso machine to receive your coffee; then step outside to the deck to enjoy a panorama which going clockwise includes among other things Sacre Couer atop Montmarte, the Garnier Opera House, Invalides, and the top of the Arc de Triomphe. Oh and I mustn’t forget to mention that you can also see the top two-thirds of Gustav Eiffel’s massive erection sitting next to the Seine, but it seems a moot point to say so since you can see the pinnacle of that thing from just about everywhere in town unless you’re either under it or on top of it.
Printemps: http://departmentstoreparis.printemp...ges/index.aspx
Well this little story started with Anthony Bourdain and I believe it would be fitting to end it with him too. You see, as my mother has often noted upon seeing Anthony Bourdain’s face on commercials for his Travel Channel television show “No Reservations” or his other show “The Layover” or even his visage on a book cover… she’ll will invariably say “Oh look! There’s that Big Baby”. And you know what? Maybe my mom’s right. Maybe Tony is just a big spoiled brat Bebe. Now don’t get me wrong here… I sorta like Bourdain and think he may even rank somewhere on my personal meter of who and what is cool. But maybe, just maybe my mom is right and Bourdain is simply Un Gran Enfant that can down endless amounts of Michelin starred food from a silver spoon but is too much of a baby to tackle a Lufthansa Vegan Meal. So here’s what I’m going to do. I hereby throw down a challenge to Mr. Bourdain to fly somewhere (at least 10 hours in duration) on a Lufthansa A380 in Economy Class, order a Special Vegan Meal and finish it with some “gout rich” Still Vassa. Okay, you got that Bourdain? Somewhere in the world Heidi’s standing in the galley of an LH A380 with her blond ponytail and dark blue FA uniform (she's kind of a babe) waiting for you with a nice plastic tray full of steaming hot Economy Class Vegan (expletive deleted) which was cooked up just for you…Wish you luck Bourdain. Wish you luck!
Anyways thus ends my trip report. I am including photos of my Lufthansa Vegan meal und snack (below) for those members of the Elite Frequent Flyer Porn Star Alliance (that’s right First Class travelers, I’m looking at you) who need to be scared straight.
Cheers Mates and Good Travels ^
AussieOzzie
P.S. 6+ months and I’m still waiting for my Top Flyer Amex Gift Card… still waiting. Given up hope actually.
P.P.S. Would some gazillion miler out there please (for the love of frequent frickin’ flying) have some mercy and gift me elite status (but not on Singapore mind you) so I can get out of the ghetto and into the party in FC? Business Class at least… BC at least!
P.P.P.S. This was my first trip on Lufthansa and I am actually quite impressed with their high level of Economy Class In-Flight service compared to other major airlines on which I’ve flown. Danke Schoen :-::-::-::-::-:
My Goldfish Snack
My Vegan Meal
My Undisputed World Record for Worst Meal at the Highest Altitude and Speed
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/trip-...oes-exist.html
In light of this general ambivalence, I will continue with my trip report from where we last left off. Let’s see, hmmmm… Anthony Bourdain, Medium Raw, Food Porn, Travel Porn, Top Flyer… oh yes my May/June foodie trip to Paris, France.
As readers will recall from my previous post, I had deliberately selected to fly Lufthansa from SFO > FRA > CDG in an attempt to experience the worst possible Economy Class meal aboard any airline, anywhere in the world thus elevating my appreciation of French cuisine all the more upon my arrival in Paris. I am pleased to say that neither Lufthansa nor Paris disappointed in either case.
Check it out, Row 57 Seat A aboard Lufthansa’s flagship A380! Okay, so it wasn’t exactly Seat 2A; but I was finally in front of the frickin’ wing where my view was back towards the engine cowl and spinning turbine rather than the more familiar a$$ end/exhaust view of most Rolls Royce and GE engines I’ve had through the years. Nevertheless, I was still in the A380’s basement ghetto sandwiched somewhere between the cargo hold below me and the slap and tickle fest upstairs in the First Class cabin. They call it Steerage Class in the nautical industry, right? My seat also had a pretty decent view of the blue curtained staircase separating the elites upstairs from the plebes in the basement. Over the course of 10+ hours I noticed that some FC passengers actually descended to the bowels of the plane (probably on a dare, double dare from other FC passengers) for a quick peek at those of us slumming in the ’Hood (you know… to see how the other half – or more accurately the other 99% live) before retreating upstairs to the safety of their lay flat seats. Voyeuristic sickos. But I digress…
Despite the total lack of amenities in Economy Class, there is a least one perk which a budget traveler can always count on. A seemingly insignificant, yet important, piece of leverage which can lift a lowly ghetto traveler like myself ever so slightly above their fellow cheap-a$$ brethren. The advantage of which I speak is ordering a Special Meal which ensures that one will be downing mouthfuls of tasteless crap with a shrink wrapped spork long before their seatmates are asked whether they want Chicken or Pasta. In my case I carefully studied all of Lufthansa’s meal options well in advance of my departure date and chose the “Vegetarian Meal” thinking it was the worst possible choice I could have made… I was wrong. Imagine the surprise I had when my friendly neighborhood flight attendant “Heidi” showed up next to my seat and chirped “Guten Tag”. Well, her name actually wasn’t Heidi, but if I squinted my eyes and pretended just a little she sounded exactly like supermodel Heidi Klum, even looked like her too with the blond ponytail, just shorter, but still kind of a babe… but I digress again.
Anyways, Heidi said to me (double and triple checking the notes on the page she was holding), “Mr. Aussie you ordered a special mee-wel?”
I told her, “Why yes, indeed I did” Feeling a minor rush as my passenger status began to gently rise above the other ghetto travelers seated around me.
Heidi chirped, “I’ll be wight back”
With great anticipation I lowered my tray table down and waited for Heidi to return with my special meal. Sure enough, moments later Heidi appeared holding a flimsy beige Lufthansa tray of “food” which was already off-gassing culinary badness and announced, “Mr. Aussie, here’s your Vegan mee-wel”.
I don’t think I verbalized it out loud, but I did think “What the bleep? I ordered a Vegetarian Meal not a Vegan Meal. In fact I didn’t even know that Vegan was an option on Lufthansa”. I was going to complain to Heidi but she was already moving on to more important things.
A bit more chirping and Heidi asked me, “Someting to dwink? Perhaps some Beeyah or Vine? Vhite Vine? Redda Vine? Vassa? Still Vassa? Gassa Vassa?”
Surveying the tray of food before me I slowly began to appreciate the accidental good fortune I had just encountered by receiving a Vegan meal. Now I’m no expert, but if I remembered correctly, in order to be considered a Vegan meal all the ingredients must have died of natural causes prior to being used in a recipe; and from the looks of the Vegan meal in front of me this was certainly the case save for a remarkably well preserved chickpea lying on top which must have committed some form of permissible suicide which still allowed it to be classified as a Vegan foodstuff.
Looking at my food tray again I noticed the entrée of oversalted dry cumin rice, watery zucchini chunks, mushy tomato parts with diced onion in a yellowish oil, limp collard greens, the chickpea (may it rest in peace), minced salad comprised of lifeless corn, bell pepper, potato and other miscellaneous veggie bits, a wheat roll plus a strawberry for dessert. I wondered, what beverage should I choose to accompany this macabre memento mori to airline food? A beer (particularly a Foster’s) would probably improve the meal as would the red or white wine. But this meal was meant to be B-A-D, bad and I intended to keep it that way, so Bee-yah and Vine were Auf Wiedersehen from the available choices of drink. That left me with the following two options: Still Vassa or Gassa Vassa. Given the extraordinarily high likelihood of intestinal upset from this particular meal, I was certain that drinking Gassa Vassa would simply be adding insult to injury with the inevitable cropdusting my seatmates would experience from Seat 57A for the next 7 hours. As such, I thought it wise to go with the Still Vassa whose label rather oddly read “Rich in Gout”. Not sure if the bottler meant Gout the disease or something else, but it tasted like plain water to me.
Having done her duty, Heidi chirped “Danke Schoen” before walking away.
"No Heidi… really… truly, Danke Schoen to you” for delivering to me what would become the absolute worst meal served at the highest altitude and fastest speed aboard the largest passenger jet in history that I’ve ever had. Heidi, for that “I Thank You” because that Vegan meal SUCKED ROYAL!!! I only wish that someone from the Guinness Book of World Records was there to watch me polish off that tray of (expletive deleted) and at least give me some kudos for my trouble. Oh well, no such luck. Guess I’ll just have to settle for being another anonymous and unsung hero in the annals of world food history.
Needless to say, getting to Paris was only half the fun and the city of gustatory delight did exactly that… delight in many sensuous and sensory ways.
As if a sign from the pantheon of food gods, I was amused to note that on day one of my trip the very first thing I saw after emerging from the Hotel de Ville Metro station was a local Parisian man wearing a tee-shirt emblazoned with the Golden Arches logo and the word “Mc$hit” printed below it. Seeing this I knew I had definitely arrived in the right place, the mecca of fine food. With this divine message from food heaven, I knew that the ground rules had been laid - there would be no McAnything for me on this trip.
Rather curiously, my first foodie stop after breakfast was for dessert at the world famous Berthillon ice cream shop on Ile St. Louis in the 1st Arr. where I set another personal record for the most money ever spent on some golf ball sized servings of ice cream. Something like 6 bucks a pop but it was damn good. If you visit Berthillon and want the perfect triumvirate of glaces try the following: Pain d'Epices, Banane, and Chocolat Noir all complementary flavors and most excellent when mixed and matched on the spoon and tongue. The seasonal fresh Figue glace was an unfortunate choice as was the other one which I forget (Pasion something?), but I’m willing to overlook these poor choices in favor of the other more favorable flavors I discovered.
Maison Berthillon: http://www.berthillon.fr/mag/fr/page-112732.htm
Another good stop for foodies in Paris is a nut house (chez nut?) in a gritty neighborhood about a block from the Pompidou Centre called La Pistacherie on Rue Rambuteau. Actually it is a shop devoted to specialty nut blends and fruits including a “French” Trail Mix with Tibetan Goji Berries which I didn’t try, but it looked interesting. By the way, the nuts at Pistacherie will likely put all those American Airline’s First Class "warm salty nuts" appetizers which people posted on Top Flyer to shame. But you realize that I speculate heavily on this point since I’ve never flown in American’s FC (or any other FC cabin) … yet.
La Pistacherie: http://www.lapistacherie.eu/
The macaroons at the renowned patisserie Laduree were excellent if not a bit cloying and pricey to boot.
Laduree: http://www.laduree.fr/en/fabricant/produits/macarons
Alas, I wish I had found the following a bit sooner but I did make my way to the gourmet food emporium at Galeries Lafayette on Boulevard Haussman in the 9th Arr. towards the end of my trip. The gran epicierie had sections devoted to colorful and aromatic cones of spices which look like they’d been lifted right out of a Middle Eastern market; every imaginable type of yogurt and cheese; breads; jams, honeys and just plain excellent food at every turn including Mediterranean and Thai takeaway kiosks. My advice for summer travelers, get a picnic spread (falafel, tzatziki, hummus, dolmas) from here and Metro yourself straight to the nearest Paris Plage for a memorable meal by the Seine. You can get these same foodstuffs near St. Severin on the Left Bank, but I’ll bet you the ones at Galeries Lafayette are better.
Galeries Lafayette: http://www.galerieslafayette.com/
Not to sound like a hypocrite, but I did have a 4.50 Euro caffee latte at the McCafe on the Champs Elysees; but my decision to go there was based solely on the cheap price and people watching the location afforded and nothing more. Anyways, I don’t think this McDiversion counts because it wasn’t a burger and fries (frittes en Francais).
For those seeking a good (not great mind you) café crème at a reasonable price with an unparalleled 360 view, may I suggest the Roof Terrace (Le Deli Cieux) on the 7th floor of Printemps near Galeries Lafayette. Give the cashier 2.70 Euro and receive a brass token to put into the espresso machine to receive your coffee; then step outside to the deck to enjoy a panorama which going clockwise includes among other things Sacre Couer atop Montmarte, the Garnier Opera House, Invalides, and the top of the Arc de Triomphe. Oh and I mustn’t forget to mention that you can also see the top two-thirds of Gustav Eiffel’s massive erection sitting next to the Seine, but it seems a moot point to say so since you can see the pinnacle of that thing from just about everywhere in town unless you’re either under it or on top of it.
Printemps: http://departmentstoreparis.printemp...ges/index.aspx
Well this little story started with Anthony Bourdain and I believe it would be fitting to end it with him too. You see, as my mother has often noted upon seeing Anthony Bourdain’s face on commercials for his Travel Channel television show “No Reservations” or his other show “The Layover” or even his visage on a book cover… she’ll will invariably say “Oh look! There’s that Big Baby”. And you know what? Maybe my mom’s right. Maybe Tony is just a big spoiled brat Bebe. Now don’t get me wrong here… I sorta like Bourdain and think he may even rank somewhere on my personal meter of who and what is cool. But maybe, just maybe my mom is right and Bourdain is simply Un Gran Enfant that can down endless amounts of Michelin starred food from a silver spoon but is too much of a baby to tackle a Lufthansa Vegan Meal. So here’s what I’m going to do. I hereby throw down a challenge to Mr. Bourdain to fly somewhere (at least 10 hours in duration) on a Lufthansa A380 in Economy Class, order a Special Vegan Meal and finish it with some “gout rich” Still Vassa. Okay, you got that Bourdain? Somewhere in the world Heidi’s standing in the galley of an LH A380 with her blond ponytail and dark blue FA uniform (she's kind of a babe) waiting for you with a nice plastic tray full of steaming hot Economy Class Vegan (expletive deleted) which was cooked up just for you…Wish you luck Bourdain. Wish you luck!
Anyways thus ends my trip report. I am including photos of my Lufthansa Vegan meal und snack (below) for those members of the Elite Frequent Flyer Porn Star Alliance (that’s right First Class travelers, I’m looking at you) who need to be scared straight.
Cheers Mates and Good Travels ^
AussieOzzie
P.S. 6+ months and I’m still waiting for my Top Flyer Amex Gift Card… still waiting. Given up hope actually.
P.P.S. Would some gazillion miler out there please (for the love of frequent frickin’ flying) have some mercy and gift me elite status (but not on Singapore mind you) so I can get out of the ghetto and into the party in FC? Business Class at least… BC at least!
P.P.P.S. This was my first trip on Lufthansa and I am actually quite impressed with their high level of Economy Class In-Flight service compared to other major airlines on which I’ve flown. Danke Schoen :-::-::-::-::-:
My Goldfish Snack
My Vegan Meal
My Undisputed World Record for Worst Meal at the Highest Altitude and Speed
Last edited by AussieOzzie; Jul 12, 2012 at 7:20 am
Jun 11, 2012, 4:40 pm
#2
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: SEA, but up and down the coast a lot
Programs: Oceanic Airlines Gold Elite
Posts: 20,397
While your posts are certainly entertaining, you keep bringing up a point that deserves to be addressed...
First off, nobody is going to be able to gift you the kind of elite status that will get you reliably out of the coach cabin on longhaul flights- this is generally reserved to top-tier elites, and usually only lowest tier or middle-tier can be gifted. Based on the fact that you keep asking for this, I don't think you quite understand how getting into a premium cabin for less than full freight works, so let's make this as brief as possible:
- no airline I am aware of gives elites complimentary, unlimited upgrades on longhaul flights. North American airlines do this for their flights, but their F quality is pretty marginal.
- there are some airlines, but not most airlines, that give you the ability to upgrade longhaul flights via an instrument.
- most of the airlines that give you upgrade instruments don't have very nice business/first classes (as mentioned above). They're certainly nicer than coach, but it seems that if you take the profit out of a higher class of travel by giving people cheap ways to get into it, you end up hurting the product you're delivering.
That being said- I suppose you might get someone to toss a GPU (or whatever TLA United calls their longhaul upgrade instruments) your way with sufficient begging on your part, and you might be able to find space on one of UA's United flights to use it on, if you simply must find a way into a premium cabin, and you're too cheap to drop a couple thousand AUD on US Airways miles to get US Airways *A redemption, as was suggested to you earlier. (FWIW, the cost of that ticket to get to the USA on United? Probably almost as much as just buying a brace of US Airways miles.)
Would some gazillion miler out there please (for the love of frequent frickin’ flying) have some mercy and gift me elite status (but not on Singapore mind you) so I can get out of the ghetto and into the party in FC?
- no airline I am aware of gives elites complimentary, unlimited upgrades on longhaul flights. North American airlines do this for their flights, but their F quality is pretty marginal.
- there are some airlines, but not most airlines, that give you the ability to upgrade longhaul flights via an instrument.
- most of the airlines that give you upgrade instruments don't have very nice business/first classes (as mentioned above). They're certainly nicer than coach, but it seems that if you take the profit out of a higher class of travel by giving people cheap ways to get into it, you end up hurting the product you're delivering.
That being said- I suppose you might get someone to toss a GPU (or whatever TLA United calls their longhaul upgrade instruments) your way with sufficient begging on your part, and you might be able to find space on one of UA's United flights to use it on, if you simply must find a way into a premium cabin, and you're too cheap to drop a couple thousand AUD on US Airways miles to get US Airways *A redemption, as was suggested to you earlier. (FWIW, the cost of that ticket to get to the USA on United? Probably almost as much as just buying a brace of US Airways miles.)
Jun 11, 2012, 6:55 pm
#3
Original Poster
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Probably somewhere in Economy Class
Programs: Lufthansa, United, Hilton, Marriott, Hyatt
Posts: 1,805
Just Smile and Wave Mates, Just Smile and Wave...
I don't think you quite understand how getting into a premium cabin for less than full freight works.
So if I understand it correctly (though I have heard that gifting is possible) I'm left with few options to leave the ghetto:
1) Win the El Gordo Spanish lottery so I can afford those BC and FC tix which are fully 3 - 10 x the cost of my EC ticket.
2) Churn tons of credit cards into millions of miles and get FC award tix like many others have done. Read about someone who got two FC tix (something like $28K USD worth) for $195 in credit card fees plus a minimum spend.
3) Bribe the GA @:-)
What the heck... EC isn't sooooo bad. You really only need to tolerate it for a max of 15 hours anyways. I'm a veteran at that already. But it would be nice to experience how the other 1% travels. Will write a post about it if I ever get there.
Jun 11, 2012, 7:34 pm
#4
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: LAS
Programs: DL PM, UA PS, Hyatt Globalist, Marriott Titanium
Posts: 4,904
It's really just #2. I'm half-employed in my early 20s and I've flown in pretty much only Business or First this year due to miles. My F trip had some miles from a credit card, but the majority of the miles (70%-ish) came from a lucrative airline promotion. Flying F or J for Y prices is certainly doable.
Though many of us also fly Y often. I just don't write TRs because I'd rather sleep through the flight
.
Though many of us also fly Y often. I just don't write TRs because I'd rather sleep through the flight
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Last edited by amolkold; Jun 11, 2012 at 7:55 pm
Jun 11, 2012, 8:01 pm
#5
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Argentina
Posts: 40,211
Great report with some good chuckle lines. ^
Not that it'll make you feel any better but I was 50 before I experienced premium travel with my own dime. It isn't all that great you know. In fact my most memorable travels have been when flying in economy.
Not that it'll make you feel any better but I was 50 before I experienced premium travel with my own dime. It isn't all that great you know. In fact my most memorable travels have been when flying in economy.
Jun 12, 2012, 10:43 am
#7
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: SEA, but up and down the coast a lot
Programs: Oceanic Airlines Gold Elite
Posts: 20,397
It's really just #2. I'm half-employed in my early 20s and I've flown in pretty much only Business or First this year due to miles. My F trip had some miles from a credit card, but the majority of the miles (70%-ish) came from a lucrative airline promotion. Flying F or J for Y prices is certainly doable.
Though many of us also fly Y often. I just don't write TRs because I'd rather sleep through the flight.
Though many of us also fly Y often. I just don't write TRs because I'd rather sleep through the flight
.Realistically, an itinerary from North America that stops in, say, Hong Kong and Europe before returning home is going to cost a couple thousand in coach without some serious workarounds and dodges... or around that to US Airways, and redeemed as a business class redemption to Hong Kong from North America, Europe stopover.
And yes, thanks for the TR. Both of you.
