iainbhx

Part 0: A Preamble

I’ve always planned to do something special for my 40th birthday and it always involved travel.

Originally it was a trip on Concorde, but sadly she went into retirement too quickly. So it became the idea of visiting friends in Australia which was do-able. Now all this was being funded by a small investment I’d made some years before which was due to mature at the right time, so the success of the investment would determine if it was World Traveller Plus and Ibexes or Club World and Hiltons.

Anyway, cometh the hour, cometh the yearly bonus slip and the signs are quite good. So I slip off to the boss creature and ask what’s the maximum amount of time that I can have off in April 2005 and get the two weeks offer. I also get complete looks of horror from my political confreres at the thought of going away in April when there is likely to be a General Election in May 2005. Hmmm, this isn’t looking good. So I try another tack, when can I have the most time off without annoying everyone and finally the answer comes back that I have have 4 weeks and no more in November.

So I start investigating the murky world of D-class fares to Australia and come to the conclusion that actually a RTW fare might be better value and yield a few more miles. So, I do some basic investigation, work out that I want to see places rather than go for miles and segments and pop along to the One World board and ask some questions. They weren't very helpful, to say the least. However, a nice tip off from a friendly QF board poster led me to a slightly amended route that would save a little money.

However, all this was ruined by a simple trip to a humble travel agent. I’d been into Central Birmingham to have some bits prodded by the quacks and it was sheeting down with rain so I nipped into Trailfinders for some brochures. Anyway, I end up having a discussion with someone in there and they point out the Qantas World Discovery ticket. Very reasonable priced in Business Class, suits my needs reasonably well and saves faffing about in FRA. So, I do more research and trust me the rules on this one are really quite hard to track down; they are also horrifically variable with the Economy product actually being considerably more flexible than the J Product.

So, about the start of August, it gets booked

LHR-HKG-SIN-SYD-MEL-CNS-BNE-CNS-SYD-AKL-LAX-PHX-LAX-LHR

Now the very observant will notice that breaks several rules of this splendidly obscure ticket, but there’s three other tickets rolled into there. There’s a CX J ticket HKG-SIN, there’s a Deathstar ticket CNS-BNE-CNS and tell it not in Gath, but there is a WN LAX-PHX-LAX in there.

So anyway, there is much excitement in the home of iainbhx as the date approaches, apart from the fact that work decides that as I’m going away for a month, I can do two months work during October. However, I suppose that was to be expected.

Anyway, the fateful day arrives and I leave work with a smile on my face, telling my cow-orkers with some joy that I will see them in four weeks.

AJLondon

Nice one Iain ^
Looking forward to the rest of the report

iainbhx

Fit the First, 11/11/04, BA 27, LHR-HKG, C, 13J

As usual before a trip of any length to a new destination , I manage to get a bit excited[0] and didn’t sleep properly the night before. So instead of my usual rising at sparrowfart, I crawl out of bed at about 9 am, which of course means that I have to tear around like the proverbial in order to get the 13:00 train so I can spend some time with my loved one before departing.

However, by some miracle, I managed to get all the menial tasks done and still get to the train on time despite the best efforts of Brum’s finest taxi drivers[1] and I get to spend some quality time with my loved one, which is great; and because of where he lives and the amount of luggage I have, I get to endure about an hour on the Piccadilly line – which is hideous[2]. Damn it, next time I will get a taxi from Islington to Paddington.

So after the usual fag outside Terminal 1, it’s straight into Zone R which like the rest of the terminal is like the grave. It’s late and there really isn’t much more to go out tonight. Which means that everything is very quick, I’m through into Terraces via WH Smug in about 10 minutes. And T1 Terraces is like, empty, all that is left on the board are the two HKG’s and a delayed ARN and the ARN and the first HKG are boarding. So there are perhaps about 30 people in there in toto and the staff obviously want us all to board so that they can piss off home. Food and drink isn’t being refreshed, leave a cup for a second and they are scooting it away and they have removed all but one ashtray from the smoking room – which frankly is farcical. Even evil addicts to death sticks such as myself don’t want to stay in the cancer incubation unit for too long, we want a fag and then to get out fast.

Anyway, boarding is called on time and after a final fag, it is off to board the flight. The joys of OLCI mean that it wasn’t working for this flight and so I ended up with 13J, which is an aisle, but in the main cabin downstairs. Club World seems to be about 2/3’s full downstairs and miracle of miracles, someone actually offers to hang my coat. I play around with the Club World seat and find it very comfortable.

We hang around for ever waiting for some passengers to turn up including my seat opponent, who immediately puts up the privacy screen without even a “Hello” – it’s OK, mate. I thought you were a minger as well 

There is a last minute shuffling of seats for some reason and someone is upgraded from Third World Traveller Plus and some other lucky so-and-so is upgraded to FIRST.

On board service downstairs is carried out by crew who are obviously ex Air-Scotia but a little older and more rotund. They are very efficient, quite friendly and good at service. Just before the meal service, the CSD comes down and acts like visiting royalty with a handshake for everyone. Sadly, it wasn’t Miss Galore nor was it Shona Spurtle.

Dinner

Appetisers

Prawn and Crab Salad with Thai coconut dressing
OR
Fresh asparagus mousse with crème fraiche and Parmesan cheese dressing

Fresh seasonal salad served with vinaigrette

Main Courses

Fillet of beef with red wine sauce, caramelised shallots and garlic

OR

Pork in black bean sauce with stir-fried noodles and bok choy

OR

Tomato and basil ravoli with cherry tomato sauce

OR

Main course salad of chilled green chicken tikka with basil, red onion and tomato

DESSERT

Butterscotch and chocolate cheesecake
OR
Oxford Blue, Hawes Wensleydale and Somerset Camembert cheese
OR
Fresh Fruit

Well, the asparagus mousse was rather nice – even if I do think that asparagus is a daring choice for long-haul flights. The chicken with noodles wasn’t bad, but had that feel of “Economy dish in better days” about it, the butterscotch cheesecake was well up to BA dessert standards. I could have easily managed at least another 6 slices of it. The white wine was indistinguished, the portion of Baileys copious.

After the meal service, the CSD came around with the questionnaires. I adopted my usual hard-faced ******* look and was ignored. In fact the one questionnaire in the main CW cabin went to the upgraded passenger – who of course will be as happy as Larry and give a glowing report. Quelle surprise.

Anyway, I then tried to sleep, I am not good at sleeping anywhere but a bed and I have only very managed to sleep once on an aircraft in my life and that was after being up for 35 hours. Well, I managed it this time, not a lot of sleep but a reasonable 4 to 5 hours of rest and dozing. On awakening, I got the laptop out and proceeded to work on some documents for a couple of hours. The crew were very good at spotting who was awake and quietly offering water/drinks etc.

BREAKFAST

Chilled fruit juice
OR
Our special wake-up energising smoothie of strawberry, raspberry and papaya

Freshly prepared fruit
OR
Greek yoghurt with dried fruit

Classic British breakfast
OR
Cheese omelette with slow roasted tomatos and hash-brown potatoes
OR
Waffles with Orange Compote

Selection of warm breads and breakfast pastries

About one hour out from HKG, the cabin lights came on and we were offered breakfast if people were awake and the CSD made his third appearance with the landing cards. I chose the hot breakfast which we all know and love well from BA flights. The main difference between it and a Club Europe brekkie seems to be the fruit smoothie (very, very good) and an extra rasher of bacon. Btw, hint to BA, try and source your LHR sausages from the BHX suppliers, you get something with meat and herbs rather than a tasteless mush.

Arrival at HKG, whilst a little late was very easy, out of the airport and onto the shiny train in less than 20 minutes.

Conrad Hong Kong

Well, I was praying for an upgrade to the much-vaunted Executive Floor, but alas this wasn’t to be. I did however get a high-floor Park View as my upgrade – which oddly was precisely what I booked. I tried not to roll my eyes.

However, the room was splendid, very large, very well equipped and they even gave me a teddy bear to cuddle at night which I have kidnapped to bring home. Every night I got fresh water, lots of nice fresh fruit and a dim-sum container full of very nice chocolates. I also got a complimentary breakfast which turned out to be a rather stunning buffet in a nice room by the pool, with Chinese, Japanese, American and European selections. I just had the very good Birchermuesli and Watermelon juice.

I spent much of my time in HKG suffering badly from jetlag and so didn’t see as much as I liked, however, I had some excellent cheap meals, some nice wandering through the city taking pictures of buildings and did some shopping.

I want to go back.

[0] As opposed to FRA/DUS/MUC/HAM/TXL.
[1] Yes, the Ladypool Road is the shortest distance to Birmingham New Street[3], it’s also constantly double parked and choked with traffic.
[2] and so are the people on it during the rush hour.
[3] aka Mordor Central

Seat 2A

This is a great looking report so far. ^ ^
I eagerly await further installments!

mad_atta

Great report, iainbhx - keep it coming!

iainbhx

Fit the Second, CX717, HKG-SIN, C, 14H

This one will be a bit short. I didn’t do well for jetlag on this trip and by the time it got to Monday morning, I had managed about 12 hours decent sleep out of the previous 72 hours. So details on this report are to say the least a bit hazy. However, all in all, it must be said that HKG is one of the cleanest airports I have seen, with good signposting and helpful staff. CX check-in was extremely pleasant and swift and within 5 minutes of getting there, I was trundling down to the Pier.

Now I know that a lot of people rave about The Pier as being one of the world’s best lounges, so I am going to offer a slightly contrarian viewpoint. The Pier is OK, it has nice facilities, but it isn’t the wonderful place that people claim it to be. Yes, I greatly enjoyed the Noodle Bar, the internet facilities were very well done, but the seating doesn’t enduce relaxation and simple things like orange juice weren’t easily available. Part from the delights of BBQ Pork Buns and that it was quite empty, I feel that BA does better with Terraces in the mornings.

Anyway, we boarded the 777-300 very smartly on time, I would have been quite interested in this flight normally because I have never been on a 777 of any type before. However, I was so tired that I really wasn’t that interested, all I wanted to do was get to SIN and sleep. My seat opponent was a middle aged gentleman who was running some form of skin-care product franchise, he informed me liberally about this and I admired his collection of top-level Frequent Flyer/Stayer cards.

Pre-departure drinks were of course served, I opted for the non-alcofrolic Cathay delight which was a virulent green in colour and actually rather pleasant.

As soon as we were airborne and the pings had gone, the drinks trolleys were wheeled out, it was during this that I noticed the great Champagne swindle that was going on. The menu promised Billecart-Salmon and bottles of it were paraded up and down the aisle with some gusto. What was actually served, fairly carefully wrapped to disguise it was Deutz. Myself, I opted for apple juice.

Brunch was then served:

Juice Selection

Fresh Seasonal Fruits

Omlette with Parsley, Grilled Veal Sausage, Parmentier Potatoes, Broiled Tomato with Herbs and Button Mushrooms
OR
Sautéed Prawns and Cucumber with Chili Paste, Steamed Rice and Baby Chinese Cabbage with Straw Mushrooms
OR
Chinese Dim Sum with Chili Sauce

Pear Charlotte Cake with Mango Coulis

Assorted Bread and Rolls, Tea and Coffee

I took the Prawns, two servings of the bread (which was offered around three times) and a mug of tea. I do like Cathay’s mugs, nice and large in a sensible earth tone. The Prawns were excellent.

After brunch had been served, there was another round of hot towels and the crew then retreated to the Galley for the remaining 2 hours of the flight. I must admit I was quite surprised by this, although it seems to be normal on most flights.

I, like my seat opponent, didn’t bother with Studio CX and just retreated into the laptop for the flight. Empower did not seem to be available.

So, I arrived at the much vaunted SIN airport. I must admit I wasn’t that impressed, it didn’t seem that special. I went quickly through Immigration, my bag came off at a reasonable rate and I walked out into 30 degree heat and high humidity to find a taxi. Thank goodness for all that time in North Carolina to innure me to such.

Hilton Singapore

By the time I got to the Hilton SIN, I was almost on the verge of collapse through tiredness. I was informed that I was being upgraded to the special HHonors floor. Of course, this is a faux upgrade, there’s nothing remotely special about the HHonors floor except for a nameplate.

I didn’t even unpack my bags, I slumped down head first on the bed and got four hours napping in.

When I awoke, I had a little host of cards under the door telling me that they had come to do turndown service and check the mini bar and gawd knows what else. Obviously, the Hilton SIN is one of those places which likes to pester its clients incessantly.

After showering and doing a minor unpack (I’m buggered if I am going to unpack a whole case for a two night stop), I venture out into the steamy heat of SIN to find foodstuffs. I had been recommended to eat at the local “Food Court” near the Newton MRT, this recommendation proved to be very good as for a mere pittance I enjoyed satay, crispy duck, rice, chilied vegetables, fresh fruit and a couple of large glasses of iced line juice. I then MRTed back to Orchard and wandered around looking for a couple of beers to act as sleeping aids. This proved to be an interesting experience as many of the bars close to the Hilton appear to be full of very forward young ladies, one of which (well, I think it was a lady but the hands were a bit dodgy) made me blush. I assured them all that I wasn’t interested in their solicitations and departed swiftly back to the hotel before they brought their brothers along.

Not only has the SIN Hilton created a separate Hhonors floor, but to refine it’s dodgy practices it also has a separate breakfast for those who cannot see the pleasures of the Exec lounge. Whilst held in nice surroundings and perfectly acceptable, it was certainly less than the downstairs offerings which were included in my rate until the mysterious faux upgrade.

I spend most of my second day in SIN being a tourist and shopping. I had great meals at Blue Ginger (lunch) and at the Maxwell Road Food Court (dinner) I got soaked by a sudden rain storm, I took pictures of pretty masjids, temples and colonial buildings and I bought various items including melatonin which worked like a dream – 7 hours solid sleep before the evil alarm clock awoke me with the news that it was time to go to Sydney.

I must admit, I had expected not to like SIN. Oddly enough, I rather enjoyed it and would return. Also oddly enough, should I decide to become an itinerant contractor again (as opposed to a pseudo-academentic), I’d consider a contract there. But I won’t stay at the SIN Hilton again.

JuPe

Good report, keep them coming!
My friend also stayed at the Conrad a couple of weeks ago, but he didn't kidnap Conrad the bear, as he tought it had been cuddled by too many other room guest before him. However he bought a new one from the lobby shop.

iainbhx

Well, the QF32 report should be tomorrow, but then you'll have to wait a while as I'm not leaving Sydney until Tuesday.

I'm having a great time.

MAN Flyer

Great stuff so far, look forward to the rest.

.

I see you found the '4 floors of .....doors' .

iainbhx

My seat opponent on QF32 informed me of that appellation.

About as much use to me as a chocolate teapot, of course.

mad_atta

The horror, the horror! No seriously, that really is a disgrace. Do you think you'd have been able to get some Billecart-Salmon (my favourite NV bubbly) if you had asked specifically for it?

iainbhx

Fit the Third, QF32, SIN-SYD, J, 11B

QF 32 is a day flight, which meant one of those early starts to the airport. The taxi driver was, as taxi drivers the world over are, very chatty. We discussed Singapore and the changes they are making to the education system. On arrival at SIN, I searched high and low for the Business class check-in until I realised it was in an office in a separate little area. It must be said that this was nice, possibly even nicer than Zone R at LHR T1 as you were offered a seat. Anyway, I was asked if an upstairs bulkhead aisle was OK and I immediately said yes.

Anyway, very quickly passing through immigration and security, I quickly purchased 200 fags, a bottle of Baileys and made my way to the joint QF/BA lounge at SIN. OK, it is being rebuilt but this isn’t a very good lounge. There are some chairs, some showers, a bit of open space and a food bar. A food bar which seemed to have a very, very sparse selection. There was some bread (oddly only fruit bread) for toasting, some cheese and some fruit. Now is this a pay lounge or a joint lounge in an important city for a couple of major OneWorld airlines? Hmm, not happy.

So I went back and had a couple of ciggies in the outdoor area and crashed the CX lounge using my OneWorld Silver status. This is actually a smaller and less open lounge, but the array of food and drink was a little better and the staff were friendlier.

Anyway, boarding was going on, so it was out of the lounge, final cigarette, quick visit to the washroom and boarding the Qantas 747-400 to SYD. There’s a sort of fast track boarding where First and Business class passengers get to use a different jetway spur, which is nice, but as they have emptied out the whole plane at SIN to clean and restock, there’s also a lot of continuation passengers, Upstairs I troll to have my first encounter with Mussolini in micromesh – I get to the top of the stairs and an FA barks – “that’s too big, put in the closet”. Well, I’d already guessed that dear, although actually I think it would have fit in the bins. So I put in the closet and make my way to 11B.

My seat opponent is a pleasant chap who makes some conversation about SIN and SYD, he mainly sleeps during the flight, but with my sleep patterns still very strange I choose to stay awake.

The flight is fitted with the new Skybed, which is a lie-flat seat like the BA Club World seat. I then merrily spend about 10 minutes trying to figure out the controls, they aren’t as easy as the BA Club World seat controls. Pre-departure drinks are done, with a choice of fizz, orange juice or water. AS usual, I pick water and menus are handed out, which I actually forgot to kidnap for once. Anyway, we depart a few minutes late, with what seems like a very long take-off roll.

There are the usual announcement and luckily it looks like the pilot isn’t going to be a Chatty Cathy which is good, because there’s nothing worse that someone who constantly interrupts to say, “We are now passing over Drongo” etc.

Anyway, there is a very quick bar service where I have my usual apple juice and then we are asked to select our meals. Now, it is full upstairs (and I am clearly the only passenger under 40 by some margin) and even in business class there is not enough of each selection and I distinctly hear a conversation between the two FA’s “that we are out of chicken”, so when they ask me (and I am quite fairly last to be asked) “I ask what’s left” and get told everything. Hmm, strange, I choose the beef. A few minutes later, the nice FA is pleading with passengers if they will take the Beef or the Sea Bass instead, except for my seat opponent who is obviously important enough to be offered the Duck from First Class.

Anyway, the meals arrive and I choose a rather good Cab Sauv with my meal.

First Course, is a very good salad with asparagus again and antipasti including Parma Ham. Top notch stuff. Shame about the sawdust bread rolls.
Main Course is Beef with Roasted Potatoes and some other veg. No cooking instructions were asked for, but glory of glories, it’s rare to medium-rare and it’s very, very good, the potatoes could however do with some work. Nice sized piece of beef for a lunch as well.
Afters – I choose the cheese, because I don’t feel like a sweet. Oddly enough, other passengers who choose cheese are offered port. The cheddar is excellent, the soft cheese is OK.
And I have a mug of tea but am not offered a liqueur, others are.

It is at this point, considering that my One World PNR can’t have “Dangerous Drunk” on it as the most I have ever had on a plane is 5 drinks (MAN-ORD once), that I decide that Hitler in Hose has taken a dislike to me.

My seat opponents Duck, by the way looks scrumptious, a large breast with Pommes Dauphinoise (which work well on planes) and green peas.

Anyway, food and drink gone, and QF staff are very quick to liberate us from our trays and a nice young man pops around to offer Duty Free (no takers).

Most people settle down to sleep, I settle down to trying to get Skybed comfy, which takes a while, but I succeed. I then find that it isn’t empower but a standard OZ/NZ plug (albeit at 110V) for in-seat power. Hmm, I have an adapter for that, but it’s in the rollaboard. So I wander quietly to the back, check the closet for signage for opening and closing in-flight, then check to see if there is an FA about and see the galley curtain firmly shut. Sod it, I think and decide to open it, as soon as I have succeeded, out pops Stalin in Suspenders to give me a roasting, not supposed to do that, should have asked, etc. Anyway, I make my way back to my seat shame-faced but with my adapter and proceed to merrily play the Sims 2 for three hours (albeit in silent mode).

During this time, the FA’s are patrolling the aisle quite frequently and asking if those few of us awake want anything. I dare ask Franco in a Frock, if I can have a beer and after a twenty seconds of laser-death eyes, she assents and gets me a VB (which is pish, btw) and two unasked for but not unwanted bags of mixed nuts and I start to read Melvyn Bragg’s book on English whilst making annotations about “ahistorical crap”.

There is no second service on this flight, which struck me as odd, but there is an on-request service of sandwiches etc. Frankly, I didn’t dare.

Anyway, we land at SYD about 20 minutes behind schedule, the gate is reach extraordinary quickly, there is very little queue for immigration, customs is a bit of a faff but straightforward and I’m out in the open night time air at Kingsford Smith enjoying a cigarette. I then remember to change some money and get a taxi to the Sheraton. The taxi driver is a rather dreamy looking young Lebanese-Australian guy who wants to talk about Mid-East politics. Fine.

metcalve

Great report iainbhx, pity about the service though. Was once given the same treatment as you by the QF FA when in J, makes you wonder what's wrong with you with you doesn't it?

Sounds about right like all the other Qantas lounge I've been to... large array of alcohol, but little food to keep you happy.


Did you glare back at her? I would've!

Funny how he got that. Did you ask?


I love the Sims (1) but Sims 2 is just so tedious to just even start the game! I've had that darn game for 3 months now, and when I do manage to get through the entire opening sequence of loading and more loading, I have yet to even build my house. The creation of sims, facial creation etc etc, just too freaky.

iainbhx

I think I was under-age or something. I'm 39 but look about 6-10 years younger than that. Plus I was probably unsuitably dressed in shorts and a linen shirt. Either that or she was on an exchange from UA.

All I wanted was a bit of breakfast and some juice that wasn't orange (I'm allergic to oranges).

Not worth the hassle to be honest.

I believe he was a WP. Seems fair, I got my choice and I'm only Silver on Pom Airlines.

iainbhx

Fit the Fourth
Sheraton on the Park, Sydney

OK, Mr Hunky drops me off at the Sheraton. My bags are swooped on by a porter and I’m directed to the reception test. I normally object to having my luggage taken away and then returned for a modicum of folding currency. However, on this trip I’m not objecting much, just get it to me soonish.

Now this is a Sheraton, a Starwood hotel, by some mysterious reason I am Gold with Starwood despite making usually 2-3 stays a year with them. I let them do this and keep stumm about it. All I can expect is a one-level room upgrade, not a suite. Fine, I have reserved a City View Deluxe Room as I want some opulence for six nights. The nice young lady takes my details and asks if I would like either a City View Deluxe with Executive Club access or a Park View Deluxe as my upgrade. I bite her hand off for the Club access.

Getting up there, it’s one hell of a room. I have the usual bed for two bloater-sized septics, a comfy three piece sofa, a walk-in wardrobe and mini-dresser and a desk. I also have a huge black marble bathroom with sinks, full sized tub and one of those large walk-in showers. I think I might just like it here. Anyway, I order up a Club Sandwich and a bucket of ice – wait 40 minutes, invoke the Sheraton Promise and get it for free. One sandwich, two Baileys over ice and a melatonin later and I’m testing the bed for snoring ability.

I’m up early, it’s warm and sunny already. It’s time to start getting my bearings in Sydney, so after having a nice breakfast in the Club and admiring the fine views, it’s a wander through the CDB, down to Circular Quay, around the Opera House (booking a tour for later that afternoon), up through the Botanical Gardens to Woomoolloomoo (admiring the very funky W hotel there) and then back to the hotel to remember to apply some factor 25. Back down to the Opera House, have the stage door tour, stop off at a café for a late lunch/early dinner type salady meal and then back to the hotel. I’m knackered, so after a few nibbles in the club, I decide to stay in for the evening and use the in room broadband to talk to people back home. Oh and use that shower, at least twice, because its powerful and shiny. Just like the staff at the hotel, all smiley, nice and not pushy or Uriah Heep like. The rest of the bathroom is turned into Widow Twankey’s laundry by me.

The next morning dawns and it’s off out on the trail again, this time plastering on the factor 25 as it’s supposed to get into the low 30’s today. Down to Circular Quay again, then to the tourist information office (who bless, can even supply the local gayper), around The Rocks (not very rugged and few ragged rascals), along the wharfs to Darling Harbour. At Darling Harbour I admire the temple to crass consumerism that has been built there before deciding to have a nice lunch of deep fried barrimundi with a lemon chili dip, which is very pleasant as is the waiter who must have been the taxi-drivers younger cousin. To misquote a certain Manchester miserabilist “what he wrote on the bill at the end of the day, Caligula would have blushed”. However, I had an appointment with the Sydney Aquarium and a National Maritime Museum which took the whole afternoon mainly staring at the pretty fishies. I commend the Aquarium to all of you, the Maritime Museum is more for those who like boats. I had a sensationally good lamb and roasted vegetable pide for my “tea” but I was damned if I could find the shop again when I looked for it.

So it is Saturday and I intend to go out and have an evening out. So a more gentle perambulation is required around Paddington, Darlinghurst and bits of Woomooloomoo again, I even venture to the edge of Kings Cross but not too far in case I get scared. I also manage to buy the first couple of presents. Then I put on my glad rags and go out on Oxford Street, it’s quite fun, but very crowded and, my, aren’t Aussie men forward. I tend to avoid the bars where the ratio of hair product to hair approaches 1:1. Anyway, whilst I am sleeping quite well now, I’m still getting up early, so its off to bed via a chookburger from a small shop.

Sunday was supposed to be Chinatown and the Town Hall area followed by a trip out to the suburbs or something. Unfortunately, the chookburger didn’t like me, so much of Sunday was cancelled, I eventually ventured out for afternoon tea – Australians do good cakes and to buy a pair of shorts so that my pale, hairy legs can be ridiculed by the masses. The weather was supposed to be quite good the next day, so a beach trip was planned. Apart from afternoon tea, I ate very sparsely that day

Monday was my final day in Sydney. I knew that I would spend much of the evening reassembling the luggage, so I felt two Dramamine[0] and a trip on the Jet Cat out to Manly Beach would be appropriate. It was windy, it was overcast and it was raining. Sigh. OK, time to cut losses, lets go out Chinatown and have a dim sum lunch then to the National Museum and then the NSW Parliament, which were fine and quite enjoyable, despite the pickpocketing attempt. So I buy a sandwich from Subway to eat as I pack and chat to people on-line. I get back to the hotel, open the sandwich and watch it fall from the bag straight into the bin. Between one tiny thing and another the previous couple of days this got to me a bit and I had a bit of a blub for five minutes. Then I just went straight out and bought another sandwich 
.
[0] I am notoriously “seasick on the Serpentine”, my lodger has cackled with amusement at the sight of me being queasy on an Amsterdam canal boat.